How to Be a Good Wife

Express your feelings and needs effectively. Your husband does not have the power to see through your thoughts. If you want something, say it. Say what you don’t feel right. Insinuating or thinking that he will “understand” you will not get the results you want. If you want to express your feelings, you should speak in a positive voice and listen to what he has to say instead of rushing to accuse. Here are a few ways to do it:

• Send a “personal message”. Instead of accusing him of not meeting your desires, let the conversation focus on you. For example, tell him, “I feel ignored when I can only see you after 6:30 every night.”
• Listen to what he has to say. When he says something, repeat it back to let him know that you really understand. For example, you could say, “You said you were worried about your finances, so that’s why you often work late.”
• Avoid making comments. Let him do all he needs to say before you respond. After he finishes talking, you can come up with a solution. For example, say, “I’d rather spend less if I could see you more.”

Select the subject of debate. Some issues are worth arguing about, others are not. If you keep paying attention and nagging about your husband’s minor mistakes, he probably won’t want to listen to you when he has a bigger problem.

• Criticism can damage a relationship. As long as the dishes are washed and not broken, you shouldn’t complain about how he has to arrange the dishes “the right way”. Let him work his way. Don’t stress over the details.
• Avoid criticizing your husband in an unconstructive way. Remember to stay calm and clear-headed because anger can easily turn a discussion into an argument. If you criticize the little things he does, he will quickly ignore what you say.
• You should praise your husband for the things he does well rather than argue with him for the bad deeds. This will make him want to listen to you more and feel more comfortable around you.

Always understand when discussing something with your husband. Debate the right issue. Don’t let anger take over you to utter words you’ll regret. Even if you don’t agree with your husband on something, you need to respect his opinions and views. To be a good wife, you need to understand that both of you will have some disagreements. No couple has the same thoughts and opinions, which means both need to learn how to handle disagreements.

• Talk to him at the right time. Don’t bring up your problems with him whenever you want. Avoid mentioning troubles before dinner, when he’s paying the bill, or when he’s in a stressful situation like fixing your car. Besides, never argue in front of your children. ^[2]
• When you’re wrong, admit it. You need to learn how to react during arguments, keep your mind clear to recognize mistakes and be ready to apologize.

Talk to your husband instead of talking about him. Don’t say negative things about your husband to your friends or family before you talk to him. Talking behind your husband’s back is an act of disloyalty. When it comes to marriage, the primary loyalty is to the husband, not to the family or group of friends.

• Complaining about your husband to friends and family will not help you solve the problem, but it will make them see your relationship in a negative light.
• Friends and loved ones will think they know what’s best for you, but they don’t understand your relationship well and may inadvertently give inappropriate advice.

Set realistic expectations. Both of you are not perfect. Unfulfilled desires often make us uncomfortable. If your expectations are too high or unrealistic, then you need to set a more appropriate standard. For example, it’s not fair that you want to be overly possessive and want your husband to be home at every meal. If you want to spend more time with your husband, set realistic goals and be willing to trade for it.

• Remember that no relationship is perfect. If you want to be with your husband and be happy all the time, then that is definitely not possible for you.
• Set realistic financial expectations. Maybe you and your husband won’t be able to meet your financial goals in 5 or 10 years – but that’s normal. Learn to appreciate what you have instead of expecting more.

Don’t try to change your husband. Accept him for who he is and let him know that you would never want him to change for you. He will show you more when you allow him to be himself. He and you are both grown-ups. Love him for who he is and you will feel his unconditional love.

• Accept that you and your husband are completely different people. He won’t be able to see life your way and that’s a good thing. Being around someone who is completely different from you will make the relationship experience richer.
• There’s a difference in getting him to clean the house more and making him a great climber when he doesn’t enjoy outdoor activities. You can encourage him to improve in many different ways, but you can’t force him to like the things you like.

Adapt to change. The two of you will go through life crises together, from unemployment to the loss of a loved one. You may have financial difficulties or suddenly become rich and don’t know what to do with the money. Your marriage will weather the changes if you maintain good communication and improvisation. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you learn to adapt to change:

• Remember that no matter what changes happen, you and your husband will face each other as teammates, not people on two different fronts. Facing it together will make it easier for both of you to get through the changes.
• Adapt to change in love life. Although the couple’s feelings are still very strong, don’t be disappointed when he doesn’t want to have sex every night or kiss you 20 times a day like when you two were newlyweds. You can still keep the flame of love alive without demanding all the things like when you were newlywed.
• Adapt to body changes. Even though you work hard and eat healthy, you still have to accept that your body in your 50s can’t be as slim as it was when you were 25 and that’s not a big deal.

Accepting that having children changes the relationship. The husband and wife relationship will certainly change and transform when there is the appearance of children. This doesn’t mean things will change for the worse, but you’ll spend more time raising your kids than you do building a relationship. Accept that this will change your relationship and try to turn those changes in a different direction.

• To support this transition, couples should raise their children together when possible, rather than each person taking turns taking on that responsibility alone.
• Find fun activities the whole family can do to help keep you and your husband motivated to raise children together.
• Build strong relationships by being on the same front lines as your husband. The couple should agree on raising and disciplining children, avoiding falling into the situation of “good people” and “evil people” in opposing positions when controlling children.

Accept each other’s mistakes. If you want to be accepted as a wife, you need to accept your husband’s mistakes and sincerely respect his apology for doing something wrong (as long as it doesn’t hurt you in the long run). ). If you hold grudges for too long, you won’t be able to appreciate your husband’s good sides, so it’s best to accept his apology, let him know he shouldn’t make you so angry, and let it all go. instead of continuing to be angry about what happened in the past.

• Accept all your mistakes. Don’t focus on being the perfect wife without admitting your faults.
• Admitting mistakes will help the couple’s relationship progress better.

Take the time to “date”. No matter how busy you are, how stressful your job is or whether you have children or not, you still need to make time for a romantic evening with your husband. If you don’t have kids, you should try to go on a date once a week. If you already have kids, set aside one day each week for dating or as often as you can. Although it may sound sentimental, dressing well, going to a wonderful and special place can enhance romantic feelings and give you a new experience different from the atmosphere at home.

• Your “date” doesn’t have to be romantic. You can go bowling, play gpf or go jogging together in the evening. Just do whatever creates bonding and spending time together.

Schedule sex. You’ll think it’s arbitrary, but if you don’t schedule it, it’s easy to procrastinate. If there is a constant lack of emotional acceptance and love expressed through sex, people will become dissatisfied, grumpy and eventually feel rejected mixed with anger. Remember, sex will create a physical emotional bond, which is an important factor needed for couples.

• In most romantic relationships, each person will have different needs and expectations about how often sex. Find out the extent to which both spouses feel satisfied. Couples who feel responsible for meeting each other’s needs tend to have happier relationships. ^[3]

Kiss passionately. After a while, you’ll get used to a quick kiss on the lips instead of a passionate French kiss. Make it a goal to give your husband at least one six-second kiss a day, or morning and evening even if you don’t have much time for a long kiss. You shouldn’t let your husband think that kissing you is the same as kissing your baby – don’t forget the passionate feeling in every kiss you give your husband.

• When you do it, you shouldn’t do it too quickly. Take time for a passionate kiss before you begin. This is a great intro.