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This article was co-written by Dr. Niall Geoghegan, PsyD. Dr. Niall Geoghegan is a clinical psychologist in Berkeley, CA. He specializes in identity therapy and helps clients treat anxiety, depression, anger management, weight loss, and other issues. He received his doctorate in clinical psychology from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA.
This article has been viewed 29,825 times.
What is the difference between a “good” child and a “bad” child? Perhaps Santa can tell the difference, but it’s not always easy for us to tell. Are you “good” at listening? Show respect? Do you study hard? Do you do all of this, and more? No matter what it means to be a good kid, it doesn’t mean being perfect. Still, docility will include qualities such as compassion, understanding, independence, and gratitude. You can think of it this way: good kids often aim to be happy, successful people. Parents will always cherish these “good” children.
Steps
Behave appropriately
- The purpose of being a good kid is not to make parents less upset (although they would welcome that). Good kids learn the virtues that make them happy, successful, and “good” people.
- For example, you need to take responsibility for doing your homework and completing the chores, without constant reminders or objections. This will help you become more active, independent and successful in your work and life as an adult.
- Learning to control anger is one of the most important lessons for children. When you feel your anger coming out, simple steps like breathing deeply, inhaling through your nose and out through your mouth, and counting to five can help you calm and manage your anger. You can then think more clearly about what causes your anger and what actions you can take differently next time to control it. [3] X Research Sources
- However, uncontrolled anger is not always the cause of misbehavior. Children will sometimes act out of nowhere when angry, sad, frustrated, or lonely. You may experience these emotions if you are bullied at school, excluded from a group, or rejected by friends. When you’re feeling down, talk to an older person you trust. If you can talk to your parents about your feelings, your relationship with them can improve. There’s no shame in seeking help from a counselor or other professional, though, if you really need it.
- Healthy relationships require trust, and trust is built on honesty. You want to lie to your parents to avoid punishment or upset them. However, this is often not very effective and it will hinder developing a more mature relationship with them.
- No matter how upset your parents are to hear the fact that you failed your exam because you didn’t study, stole a candy bar from the store, mocked a vulnerable classmate, etc – they will feel it too. Proud of your sincerity. This is an important sign of maturity and trust.
- If you don’t do well on an important exam because of lack of preparation, are you willing to acknowledge the importance of studying? If you have a reason to argue with your mother in public, do you understand the importance of showing respect? When a mature, mature child makes such mistakes, he will learn from it and become better.
- Even the most demanding parents will accept some of their children’s mistakes, especially if they don’t make the same mistakes again. Every parent wants to see their child grow up and mature. Learning from mistakes instead of repeating them is always a positive sign.
- Remember how proud your parents were when you made your own puzzle or wrote your own name? Even if you figure out how to disassemble the kitchen cabinets and mess around, your parents will probably still be proud of you, because they know how important it is to be independent and problem-solving skills in the human world. big. [7] X Research Sources
- For children, all the trouble is often caused by conflicts with another child. For guidance for children on conflict resolution, consider referring to http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetailsKids.aspx?p=335&np=287&id=1521. Problem-solving steps include:
- Understanding. Let the insiders make the problem clear.
- Avoid making things worse. Do not yell, insult or fight with other child(s), no matter how upset you are. Stay calm and solve each problem one by one.
- Solve together. Express your feelings about the conflict with words like “I feel angry when…” or “I need to feel…”. Then listen attentively to the explanations of the other children.
- Find solutions. Think of different possible solutions, and choose the one that best fits the needs of the stakeholders.
- It doesn’t help that you “skip” your math homework without trying to figure it out yourself. But there’s no point in refusing to ask for help when you need it because you insist on doing everything yourself.
- No child (or adult) can solve all problems on their own. Your parents always want to support you when you need it, and will see your willingness to ask for help as a positive sign. However, don’t expect them to solve all your problems for you – even if you’re not mature enough.
- How do you know when to keep trying to solve the problem yourself and when to ask for help? There’s no secret recipe; You have to trust yourself to make decisions. Did you do your best to solve the problems? Do you have an idea on how to deal with the problem? If so, this is the right time to ask for help.
Show interest
- Before teasing a child in class with a dua, put yourself in that person’s shoes and feel. Or, before getting angry at your mom’s request to do the laundry, think about how it felt when you needed her help and she turned it down.
- Good children usually treat their parents with respect. They also treat others in the same way, which shows respect for their parents. You will gain respect by respecting others first.
- No matter how difficult it is, this principle should apply to your brother (or sister)!
- You can actually practice “reading” other people’s emotional states by studying their faces. Go to a public place like a shopping mall, and try to recognize the emotions of strangers through their facial expressions.
- Being aware of other people’s feelings is important for showing empathy, which is at the core of these first three steps (treating others the way you would like to be treated, reading others’ feelings, and show compassion). However, empathy means more when you can read the other person’s feelings and “put yourself in their shoes.” This means that you value other people and their feelings and treat them with respect, even if they don’t agree with you.
- Part of growing up is learning to expand your “zone of interest.” As a child, you often thought only of your own needs and wants (a cookie, a new toy, etc.). As you get older, you start to think more about the feelings and needs of those close to you, like family and friends. Eventually, you begin to realize that there are many people around you who need help.
- Think about any small things you can do to help, from raising awareness to being ready to make changes in your personal life. For example, think of the good things you can do as simple as donating unused boxes in your kitchen cabinets to charity kitchens to help those less fortunate.
- You can show compassion in your everyday life by standing up for a child who is being bullied, and making friends with it (perhaps just saying “Do you want to play with me?). Or, you can ask your parents to buy an extra meal at the roadside snack bar and give it to the homeless people you pass on your way to the restaurant.Even the little things you do can make an impact. make a big impact on the lives of others.
- As a child, you should express your gratitude to your parents first. Take a moment and think about all the things they have done for you. Write it down if needed. A gift or memento of gratitude will warm your heart, but sometimes just saying a “thank you” will warm your parents up.
- To “raise the bar” in expressing gratitude, state exactly why you’re grateful: “Thank you, Mom, for always taking the time to help me with math problems. You helped me improve my grades. number and I’m grateful for that.”
Advice
- If you are going to be fined, accept this. Do not complain. Apologize to your parents and promise to do better in the future. All arguments are pointless. If you say sorry (with sincerity!), your parents may be lenient with you. It will be very effective!
- Voluntarily do housework without being reminded. This way, your parents will know that you are a responsible child and are always ready to do housework to help them.
- Always respect adults. They often have a lot of useful advice for you.
- Never let anger control you. If you feel angry, do your best to control it and stay calm. In the worst case scenario, you can even “stop” by going back to your room and taking a break.
- Never argue with your family when you are angry, just take a deep breath and try to stay calm.
- Sometimes you will feel sad or depressed, cycling can help you calm down.
- Don’t lie in bed every night feeling sorry for your words, instead, say sorry so you don’t feel guilty anymore.
- Don’t argue with your parents, even if you think you’re right. They know what is best for you.
This article was co-written by Dr. Niall Geoghegan, PsyD. Dr. Niall Geoghegan is a clinical psychologist in Berkeley, CA. He specializes in identity therapy and helps clients treat anxiety, depression, anger management, weight loss, and other issues. He received his doctorate in clinical psychology from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA.
This article has been viewed 29,825 times.
What is the difference between a “good” child and a “bad” child? Perhaps Santa can tell the difference, but it’s not always easy for us to tell. Are you “good” at listening? Show respect? Do you study hard? Do you do all of this, and more? No matter what it means to be a good kid, it doesn’t mean being perfect. Still, docility will include qualities such as compassion, understanding, independence, and gratitude. You can think of it this way: good kids often aim to be happy, successful people. Parents will always cherish these “good” children.
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