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The dominatrix is the one who takes the lead in a BDSM relationship – short for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism. Many have become female dominations working professionally with clients, but you can also be female domination to increase the excitement in the fun. In the second case, you can imagine a role for you and the other person and act on it to increase pleasure for both of you. Most importantly, you need to establish appropriate behavior, communication and procedures to maintain the relationship as well as avoid physical harm and psychological trauma for both of you.
Steps
The behavior of a female ruler
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Decide what you can do. A professional female dominator can choose to have sex or not with the client. However, many choose to provide full sexual services to guests. Whether working with clients or just role-playing with a lover, it’s important to set boundaries on what can be said and done. A dominant female should always feel comfortable and in control of everything.
- If you want to become a professional female dominator, you should understand the potential dangers. Even if you’ve given the necessary warnings, customers can suddenly turn you back on. There are also risks arising from sexual activity such as infectious diseases.
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Be open to your opponent. If you choose to be a professional female domination then you need to be able to face any situation without judgment. Your customers can come from all backgrounds and come to you for all sorts of reasons. Even if you are paid to control others, you must still treat your customers with respect and understanding. Even if you do it with your lover, respect their desires.
- For example, customers come to your service because they want to be controlled in real life. Your job is not to judge their wishes.
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Be confident. You cannot rule anyone without being able to control the situation. Focus on the fact that you are in control of everything yourself. Don’t be afraid to say or do anything as long as your partner feels okay.
- For example, it might be awkward at first to order the person to be quiet or sit down, but don’t be shy unless the other person says they’re uncomfortable.
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Maintain the appearance of a ruler. Remember that you are the one holding the power at this time, your appearance must also be proportionate to the other person’s perception. Stand up straight and hold your head high.
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Take control of the situation. You need to be clear that all you do is for your own pleasure and enjoyment. Unless the other party makes specific requests, say and do what you want, as long as it doesn’t cause harm. Female rulers operate under this mechanism, even as paying customers. [1] X Research Source
Practice female domination
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Have another female ruler guide you. This is not really necessary if you just want to have fun in the bedroom; maybe you just need to read books and watch videos. If you want to be a professional female dominator, it is better to have an instructor. The leader will teach you how to protect yourself, negotiate, and even teach you some necessary manners.
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Practice communication. Being a female ruler requires not only knowing what to do, but also knowing how to speak and say it. Practice giving commands confidently. This will be a bit funny at first but you will get used to it over time. Watch videos of other female rulers to learn how they speak.
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Plan for a dominant role. Role-playing is the key to being a female ruler. Make a clear schedule so you don’t get stuck in your role. Plan your daily routine and practice so that when you need to role-play, you’ll act more naturally.
- Watch videos of female domination to hone in on ideas.
- Find out your partner’s specific desires. Incorporate these desires into your performance.
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Buy and learn how to use accessories. Accessories are an important part of BDSM. Whips, blindfolds, sticks, ropes and handcuffs are a few of the items commonly used by female rulers. You can buy it online or go to sex shops. Make sure your partner is completely comfortable with these items. [2] X Research Source
- Some other accessories that can be used are chains, necklaces, chastity belts.
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Make use of available tools. If you can’t buy good BDSM tools, you can use everyday items. For example, belts, silk belts, or sleeping masks. Just make sure your partner agrees to use it and the items are theirs. [3] X Research Sources
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Learn how to use accessories. You will need practice to use these accessories properly. For example, you need to practice how to use a whip so that you can whip a client to achieve pleasure and pain without injury. Practice using the tools before you actually use them. [4] X Research Sources
- Don’t use too much force. This is easy to cause loss of control and injury to the partner.
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The previous discussion about the safe keyword. Usually, the submissive will have a keyword to let the female ruler know when to stop or hold back. Ask your partner or client for a keyword they would like to use to warn you to stop. For example, the keyword could be “purple”. Over time, you can develop the language with your partner so that the “repertory” runs smoothly. [5] X Research Sources
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Pay attention to the other party’s needs. You can take control of them, but you have to be in control, and need to meet their needs as well. It also includes knowing when to stop when a partner or client appears to be in pain or not alert. Some degree of pain can be pleasurable, but the partner should not be seriously injured. [6] X Research Sources
The appearance of a female ruler
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Choose the clothes that make you most confident. A full-body black bodysuit is typical of BDSM culture. Your outfit should be leather or latex. If you don’t like wearing suits, then choose a sexy black lingerie set. Your partner may ask you to dress as they please. [7] X Research Sources
- Leather is more suitable for role-playing in the bedroom than for everyday wear.
- The lifestyle between BDSM and pet is different, but the common point of these two communities is the classic black leather tights.
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Invest in high heels. Female-dominant women often opt for thigh-high stiletto heels. As with tights, these boots represent the classic image of female domination. In addition, flat boots and pointed heels are also used a lot. You can wear flats if you can’t wear heels. [8] X Research Sources
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Wear a corset. A corset is a tight-fitting bra (usually worn over the top like a shirt) that helps shape (and keep) you in shape. A BDSM-style corset has become iconic in the community. Bustier can also be used as an alternative to a corset. These garments should be worn over bras or skirts and not under tight leather garments. [9] X Research Source
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Choose sexy accessories. Mesh socks or corsets are classic accessories that can be combined with all kinds of outfits and underwear. You can also wear fingerless and elbow-high gloves. If you feel more confident when your identity is not revealed, then wear a mask that covers part of your face. [10] X Research Source
Advice
- Props and toys play an important part in the BDSM world. If you don’t know what to buy yet, take a tour of the sex shop for reference.
- Make sure to clean the props after each level.
- If you wear latex clothing, choose to buy new in good condition. New items will come with a support solution for easy dressing, a spray to keep the shine, a disinfectant and silicone oil to clean the outfit after use.
Warning
- Many female rulers wear clothing made from PVC (ppyvinyl chloride). This is a toxic plastic. Avoid wearing this material.
- Don’t abuse your partner. Stop when they say safe keywords.
X
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 55 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,894 times.
The dominatrix is the one who takes the lead in a BDSM relationship – short for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism. Many have become female dominations working professionally with clients, but you can also be female domination to increase the excitement in the fun. In the second case, you can imagine a role for you and the other person and act on it to increase pleasure for both of you. Most importantly, you need to establish appropriate behavior, communication and procedures to maintain the relationship as well as avoid physical harm and psychological trauma for both of you.
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