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This article was co-written by Ross Cascio. Ross Cascio is a martial arts instructor who teaches self-defense, strength training and combat at Krav Maga Worldwide. He has taught self-defense, strength training and combat classes in Krav Maga at Krav Maga Worldwide’s headquarters in Los Angeles, CA for over 15 years. He helps clients with fitness and self-defense through training at Krav Maga Worldwide.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 7,072 times.
Sometimes, a few people from the same school seem to want to fight you all the time. Sometimes it’s you who loses your temper. However, fighting is not the best way to resolve conflicts. You can get hurt and get in trouble. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to avoid fighting in school.
Steps
Defuse a bad situation
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Keep calm. If you’re in a stressful situation, it’s best to try to find a way to defuse the situation. To reduce stress, you need to stay calm. This action will calm everyone around you. [1] X Research Source
- Deep breath. If you’re feeling like fighting, you should focus on your breathing. Inhale and exhale slowly.
- Take a few minutes to think. When others tease you in the hallway, you’ll want to react immediately.
- Instead, stop. Tell yourself, “If I fight, someone will get hurt and I might get in trouble. I’ll stay calm.”
- Get in the habit of breathing and thinking before you speak or act. This method will also help others to calm down.
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Redirect attention. A great way to defuse a dangerous situation is to focus your attention on something else. For example, if someone pushes you in the cafeteria, you should not react to their aggression. Instead, you should look away to divert attention. [2] X Research Source
- Try to say something like, “Didn’t the school bell just ring? I’ll ignore you and go to English class”.
- You can also change the theme to completely. If someone bumps into you roughly on the way to class, you should turn to your friend and say, “Did you watch the football game last night?”.
- Redirecting attention will help reduce stress. By focusing on something else, you are reducing the chances of a fight forming.
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Use humor. Laughter can instantly improve your mood. If you’re in a situation that could lead to conflict, you should say something funny. Using humor to defuse the situation can be quite effective. [3] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- If you show people that you’re so completely relaxed that you can joke around, the person who’s trying to get into a fight with you will back off. Let’s joke a little to reduce stress.
- Do not joke in a way that can hurt others. Instead, you should try to find irony or humor in the situation.
- Perhaps someone is mocking you for studying during lunch. You should smile and say, “It looks boring right now, but it’ll help me get into college!”
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Be confident. If you’re confident, you’re less likely to feel like fighting. When you believe in yourself, you will feel like you can handle difficult situations more maturely. There are many methods to help you build confidence and show it in front of others. [4] X Research Sources
- Focus on your own strengths. If other people make fun of the clothes you wear, you might think like “At least I’m good at soccer!”.
- Practice how to deal with difficult situations. You should take the time to think about how to react when others are aggressive towards you.
- If you practice, you will be more confident. For example, you can practice saying things like “I have more important things to do than fight”.
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Deal with insults. Not every fight involves physical confrontation. Other people may also want to harass you by saying bad things. Several measures will help you deal with verbal aggression effectively. [5] X Research Sources
- A good way to deal with bullies is to ignore them. If someone is making fun of you, just turn away.
- Another tactic is to stay calm. You should try to say, “You know, I can’t think of a good reason to keep talking to you while you’re acting like this.”
- Make it clear that you don’t intend to fight. If you don’t pay attention to the situation, it will slowly fade away.
Avoid causing conflicts in the future
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Trust your instincts. Learning how to defuse a bad situation is quite important. But it is equally important to take the necessary steps to avoid any conflict altogether. You should take the time to think about changes you can make to stay out of a future fight. [6] X Research Sources
- Follow your hunch. If you were on your way home and saw a group of young men standing on the corner of the street, it probably felt as though if you walked past them you would be in trouble.
- Avoid giving a bad situation a chance by taking another route home. Changing directions may cost you a few more minutes, but it will help you avoid a fight.
- Same as in the classroom. If you see a group of students who look suspicious, do not approach them. Take another route to class.
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Prioritize safety. You may get injured if you fight. This is why you need to be conscious of your safety. Being on guard is always a good thing. [7] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source
- Go with friends. If possible, bring your friends to class.
- Bullies are less likely to want to fight with you if you have friends around. You should also sit with them during lunchtime.
- If you are concerned for your safety, you should be around adults. In the canteen, you can sit at a table near the supervisor.
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Set boundaries. You can let others know they need to respect your privacy. Setting boundaries is a great way to avoid fights. You should establish clear boundaries that others must not violate. [8] X Research Sources
- If someone runs into you, you should tell them “I would appreciate it if you could get away from me”. Speak politely and firmly.
- Maybe you need to leave the room and someone else is blocking your way. You should say something like “Please get out of my way”.
- By setting boundaries, you’re making it clear that you don’t want to fight. This option is better than shoving others out of your way.
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Use your voice. Voice is your most powerful weapon. You can use it to stay away from dangerous situations. For example, if you see other people fighting, you can use words to defuse the situation. [9] X Research Source
- Use logic. Instead of physical intervention, say, “You’ll get in trouble if you don’t stop fighting. I know that neither of you want to be suspended from the basketball team.”
- You can also speak up for help. If a fight is going on, let an adult know. This method will keep you away from danger.
- Always remember to speak clearly and confidently. Others need to clearly understand that you will do what you say.
- Know respect. Do not use words to provoke others. [10] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- Instead of mocking someone, say, “I know you’re a good person. I don’t think you really want to fight.”
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Emotion management. One of the main reasons people fight is because they allow their emotions to control them. Fighting often stems from anger, stress, or fear. Learning how to manage your emotions will help you avoid a fight. [11] X Research Source
- There are quite a few steps you can take to manage stress. For example, you should focus on the positive elements in your life.
- Perhaps you are stressed because your family member is sick. Instead of bringing this up in class, you should be grateful that you can still spend time with your friends.
- There are many ways to effectively manage anger. For example, you can practice deep breathing techniques. Go to 5 as you inhale slowly, and do the same as you exhale.
- Share your feelings. If you are facing difficult emotions, you should talk to a friend, parent, or teacher.
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Take responsibility for your own life. Everyone has bad days from time to time. Sometimes, you want to take your anger out on other people, or perhaps you feel like you’re a quick-tempered person. Remember, you can choose how you deal with your bad day. [12] X Research Source
- Having a bad day is normal. But you can try to minimize it by focusing on the positives in your life.
- If you find yourself trying to say something bad, you should think about something else. You might say to yourself, “I’m upset, but I’m looking forward to game time.”
- Maybe someone said something hurtful to you at school. You can use the same countermeasures against someone who is trying to make a war.
- Take care of yourself. You should remember to get enough rest and exercise. They will help stabilize your mood and help you avoid developing the urge to fight.
Search help system
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Talk to parents. Maybe other students are trying to get into a fight with you, Or maybe you’re trying to get into a fight with someone. Either way, dealing with possible aggression will be an emotional experience. You should find someone who can help you. [13] X Research Source
- Your parents will help you handle difficult situations. You can ask permission to chat with them.
- You should state your request specifically. Say, “Mom, can I talk to you about the difficult problem I’m dealing with?”.
- Be open and honest. You should let your parents know about the real problem and look for a solution together.
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Ask your teacher for advice. Teachers are another helpful resource for you. If you are close to a certain teacher, you should consider asking for their advice. You can ask them to keep the conversation private. [14] X Research Source
- Tell your teacher about your concerns. For example, you could say “Recently, I often quarrel with Thanh. I am worried we will fight”.
- You can also talk to a school counselor. They are trained to help students deal with difficult situations.
- Consider talking to your extracurricular coach or mentor. Any mature person who knows you will help you find solutions to avoid fighting.
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Spend time with real friends. Sure, you’ll be busy with your studies, activities, and housework. But you should remember to spend time with friends. Friends are also a very important source of support. [15] X Research Source
- They can make you laugh. When you’re more relaxed, you’re less likely to want to fight.
- Spend time with sincere people. You and your friends need to be kind and honest with each other.
- If you are having problems with your classmates, you should let them know. Say “I’m worried I’ll fight. Next week, can you sit with me during lunch?”.
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Use online help. High school and high school can be stressful for you. It can be hard to find positive ways to deal with change as you grow up. Remember, there will always be someone listening to you. [16] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source
- Use the internet. There are quite a few discussion forums and chat rooms dedicated to helping minors.
- Look for websites that offer advice in fighting bullying. You can learn how to stay away from bullies and avoid becoming one of them.
- Consider going to a site like Kenhsinhvien.vn. You can chat on forums or chat with someone who understands the problem you are facing. [17] X Research Source
Advice
- Confidence is a very important factor.
- Don’t worry about what others will think of you when you withdraw from the fight.
- Get help if you are concerned for your safety.
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This article was co-written by Ross Cascio. Ross Cascio is a martial arts instructor who teaches self-defense, strength training and combat at Krav Maga Worldwide. He has taught self-defense, strength training and combat classes in Krav Maga at Krav Maga Worldwide’s headquarters in Los Angeles, CA for over 15 years. He helps clients with fitness and self-defense through training at Krav Maga Worldwide.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 7,072 times.
Sometimes, a few people from the same school seem to want to fight you all the time. Sometimes it’s you who loses your temper. However, fighting is not the best way to resolve conflicts. You can get hurt and get in trouble. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to avoid fighting in school.
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