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This article was co-written by Peggy Rios, PhD. Peggy Rios is a counselor based in Florida. With over 24 years of experience, Dr. Rios specializes in the treatment of psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression. She specializes in medical psychology, incorporating behavioral health programs through empowerment theory and trauma therapy. Rios uses empirically integrated models to support and provide therapy to people whose lives have been impacted by health conditions. She holds master’s and doctoral degrees in counseling psychology from the University of Maryland. Dr. Rios is a licensed psychologist in the state of Florida.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 9,318 times.
The awkwardness in communication comes from the feeling that you are not “normal” or not “integrated into society” in the eyes of others. It comes from our fears and worries about what others think of us and from society’s expectations. This awkwardness will limit the way you interact with people because you are always afraid of being ridiculed or criticized. Once you realize that anyone is afraid of appearing awkward socially and there are many ways to continue the conversation from awkward situations, just stay calm and confident, you will always be in control. control social interactions instead of fearing them.
Steps
Change the way of thinking
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Realize that you are not alone. You may think that people around you socialize easily, but in reality, everyone worries about their own awkwardness in public communication. They worry about whether other people like them, whether the impression they give is good or boring.
- You may think that the people around you have natural confidence and never have to worry about how to approach people, but everyone has their own insecurities about some aspect of social interaction. . We all want to be liked and have many friends.
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Ask yourself where these awkward feelings come from. Many people experience communication awkwardness often because they are too worried, afraid, insecure, or low on self-esteem. Any reason is fixable if you’re willing to push your limits and find ways to build confidence. In each situation, try to identify the cause of your discomfort and then address it directly. The sooner you know the real cause, the quicker you can fix it.
- There are many reasons for low self-esteem, such as having a bad past, feeling like no one understands you, feeling pressured to interact in situations (work, friends or pressure). from parents, etc.) or wonder about their impulses and actions when around you.
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Make an effort to overcome shyness. Shyness can get in the way of your social interactions. Shyness can range from feeling shy with everyone around to being afraid of certain groups of people. You become shy out of fear of feeling embarrassed. [1] X Research Resources Relax in your social interactions and step out of your shell.
- Shy people also want to participate in social activities but are afraid of feeling embarrassed or redundant.
- Read More Overcoming Shyness to learn and realize that shyness is something we can control.
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Stop worrying about what others think of you. While it’s easy to say, the main way to avoid social awkwardness is to not care what other people think of you. Most people worry about what other people think of them, it’s worth reminding yourself every time you start to worry excessively. [2] X Research Source When you’re too busy worrying about what others think of you, you’ll never be able to relax or fully enjoy that social interaction. Only when you get rid of this anxiety will you be able to be yourself and speak naturally and calmly.
- Remind yourself what’s important. Maybe someone doesn’t like you, but will you still see them? True friends will always be there for you no matter how often you cause trouble in one place or another.
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Know if you have social anxiety. Social anxiety is a psychological disorder that prevents someone from participating in normal life activities such as school, work or social events. People with this syndrome tend to close themselves off from family or close friends and avoid all other relationships outside of society. Social anxiety syndrome results from a persistent fear of others focusing on the victim in order to embarrass or humiliate them. [3] X Research Sources
- Read the article Overcoming social anxiety for more information about this syndrome.
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Understand your feelings. Be aware every time you feel awkward. Being more mindful of how you feel whenever you feel awkward and anxious, you will consciously realize that your adrenaline is running high, making you want to run or hide.
- Be wary if you frequently feel hot, sweaty, startled, agitated, or overly suspicious. Monitor your thoughts if they become excessively panicky about your social interactions and whenever you start to feel worthless about yourself. Familiarize yourself with these sensations to learn to recognize them.
Use relaxation techniques
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Try talking to yourself. This technique will help you to distract yourself from worrying about what others think of you and reassure yourself to become more comfortable with yourself. [4] X Research Resources Some things you can tell yourself to overcome moments of social anxiety include:
- “I’ll be fine. My feelings aren’t always right, just calm down and relax.”
- “Looks like I’m paying too much attention to negative emotions.”
- “Everyone is so nice and I’ll be happy to be around them.”
- “I came here to relax.”
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Learn to relax. Start learning this at home, where you feel most comfortable. Relaxing before you get into a situation can help you become more open, honest with people and less “ruffled” when in a social setting. Only when you don’t feel stressed are you ready to embrace communicative situations instead of fearing them. In addition, relaxation will dispel anxiety. [5] X Research Sources
- Practice deep breathing to get through moments of anxiety.
- Check out How to Meditate for more ideas.
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Optimism up. Sometimes unpleasant and extremely embarrassing things happen by accident. Relax and find the fun side of awkward moments. Not only does it help you put these events in a more positive light, but a sense of humor also relieves stress, allowing others to laugh with you, not at you. One of the best things you can do to avoid becoming socially awkward is not to take yourself too seriously. That will make you less stressed and more comfortable.
- Sometimes we can’t fully control embarrassing situations, such as a long silence in a conversation, your stomach growling in class, or you accidentally tripping over the edge of the rug and falling while walking. walked up to the podium to receive the award. Smile for it to pass.
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Focus on the positive things. While communication awkwardness can lead us to focus only on the flaws in the moment, it helps if you deliberately force yourself to focus on the positives. What cool things are going on around you right now? Finding something fun can help restore your perspective on how to minimize embarrassment in the big picture. [6] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- Don’t take bad events seriously and apply it to your general attitude towards social interactions; Focus as much as you can on all the interactions that you enjoy or have done well.
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Increase confidence. Even if you don’t feel confident, act like you’re a confident person or remind yourself to be as friendly as possible. Of course, it’s not easy to be really confident in situations that once brought up fear, anxiety, and restlessness that you just wanted to hide or run away from. [7] X Research Sources
- Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Or try to do at least one thing to reinforce with those around you. With this positive start, chances are the worst won’t happen!
- Read How to Build Confidence for suggestions on how to improve your confidence.
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Be kind to yourself. Feeling socially awkward is not a permanent state, it is only temporary. You will overcome specific incidents and through that, learn many interesting things. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has at least one embarrassing experience they can recount. One sign of being kind to yourself is when you can look back on these events with a smile on your face because you realize you didn’t fall for the guy, not only that, but they also became an amusing story for everyone. everyone at dinner.
Develop soft skills
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Learn how to be a good listener . If you don’t feel confident to initiate a conversation with grace, there are other ways to connect with people: active listening. This takes some of the pressure off social interactions because you don’t have to worry about being smart or interesting; You just have to listen attentively and ask questions. Remember, people love to talk about themselves, especially if the person shows genuine interest. [8] X Research Sources
- When listening actively, show the person that you are following the story closely by paraphrasing their message and repeating it. You might say, “Ah, you’re talking about…”
- Ask questions that follow the topic. Don’t ask inappropriate or personal questions, just keep asking the person for their opinion.
- Show you’re listening by nodding, establishing effective eye contact, making sounds, or saying words that emphasize you’re still listening (such as “Um” or “Is that so?”) .
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Use open body language. Don’t appear unapproachable, instead get others to talk to you by being open and welcoming. The body will convey this easily. Gestures like crossing your arms or crossing your legs show that you are indifferent to that social interaction. Avoiding eye contact also shows that you are starting to lose focus. Also, avoid crisscrossing, sullen or bowing, and instead, reinforce eye contact and maintain an open body posture. [9] X Research Source
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Social talk. Creating small dialogues is a great way to make the other person open up or to have a friendly conversation with someone you’ve just met. [10] X Research Source
- Ask others how they are or how their day is.
- Find common ground. Find similarities between you and them such as your favorite football team, TV shows you both like to watch, or your love of animals, etc.
- The surroundings will suggest you. If you meet a person in a coffee shop, ask if she’s tried the delicious baked goods here. If you’re both outside and it’s a beautiful day, try asking them to take advantage of the beautiful weather to do some fun outdoor activity together.
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Be friendly. Acknowledging that someone wants to connect with you allows you to become more friendly and open with that person. Although there are times when you are extremely friendly, but some people still respond to you indifferently, do not give up or blame yourself for this. Maybe their living situation is too difficult or they just had a bad day. Either way, that’s not a picture of who you are. By being approachable, you’ll put others at ease, figure out how to break the ice and free them to open up and not be too wary around you.
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Have fun. Joking at the wrong time can instantly blow your “social credibility” and make you feel awkward. Just a joke with the right tone told at the right time can “relieve” the most stressful moment.
- Get the right feel for the situation. If things get a little heavy, a perfect joke can lift the mood. But if people are having a really serious discussion about the death of a grandparent, for example, you should temper your sense of humor until the mood changes slightly.
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Give meaningful compliments. When it comes to compliments, the most important thing is sincerity and timing. If you’re not sure, don’t compliment. If you’re still inexperienced in this regard, observe the people around you to learn how to compliment at the right time and follow suit. You can compliment your partner on their new jewelry, clothes, or hairdo, then move on to deeper compliments as you get to know them better.
- Complimenting an aspect of the person’s personality, such as saying he has a great sense of humor or really knows how to talk to someone you just met, will make them feel more special. compared to compliments on appearance.
- If you’re complimenting your body, make sure it’s not going in the wrong direction. When complimenting someone on their appearance, choose aspects such as their face, hair, and avoid complimenting their body or your comment may turn out to be unexpected.
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Know what to avoid. While every social situation is different, they all have a few key characteristics that you need to pay attention to if you want to be skillful in your social interactions. There are certain comments or actions that you should avoid to avoid awkward communication. Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Avoid saying things that make you feel shy. You can guess its outcome.
- Avoid asking others highly personal questions if you’re not close to them, such as sex or weight issues.
- While you should actively approach people, don’t make them uncomfortable.
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Improve your communication etiquette. If you don’t know the social norms of the group you’re dealing with, try to learn. Lack of understanding of communication etiquette will make you feel awkward in social interaction. This is especially evident when you travel to a different region or locality. Use the correct method and don’t forget to say “please” or “thank you.” [11] X Research Source
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Go out. Staying indoors, sitting in front of a computer screen, hiding in your “fortress” or avoiding lunch dates can’t get you out of all those awkward social moments. If you spend most of your time at home or clutching a computer for fear of interacting with people, you will never develop your soft skills.
- Recognize those who are condescending or indifferent. They are neither the majority nor a good reason to flee. For these people you just need to untangle yourself by keeping your dignity, such as nodding quickly and politely “Nice to meet you” before quickly turning away.
- Learn how to end a conversation just as well as you start it. Many people often end up rambling or extremely boring and left feeling awkward simply because they fear being rude or inconsiderate.
Advice
- There are many people growing up feeling awkward with society. Confusion is a common feature among teenagers, young adults, and older people, who tend to find ways to overcome the feelings that once dominated their lives.
Warning
- Don’t worry and especially don’t complicate matters. Your social engagement goals should be as simple as possible.
- Avoid using showiness as a way to impress or try to connect with others. If you feel like you’re bragging too much about your accomplishments or your possessions, stop and apologize or simply move on to asking about the person.
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This article was co-written by Peggy Rios, PhD. Peggy Rios is a counselor based in Florida. With over 24 years of experience, Dr. Rios specializes in the treatment of psychological symptoms such as anxiety and depression. She specializes in medical psychology, incorporating behavioral health programs through empowerment theory and trauma therapy. Rios uses empirically integrated models to support and provide therapy to people whose lives have been impacted by health conditions. She holds master’s and doctoral degrees in counseling psychology from the University of Maryland. Dr. Rios is a licensed psychologist in the state of Florida.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 9,318 times.
The awkwardness in communication comes from the feeling that you are not “normal” or not “integrated into society” in the eyes of others. It comes from our fears and worries about what others think of us and from society’s expectations. This awkwardness will limit the way you interact with people because you are always afraid of being ridiculed or criticized. Once you realize that anyone is afraid of appearing awkward socially and there are many ways to continue the conversation from awkward situations, just stay calm and confident, you will always be in control. control social interactions instead of fearing them.
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