How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

There’s no universal formula for asking a girl to be your lover, but there are a few good ways you can apply this nerve-wracking question to your crush.

Table of Contents

Conventional approach

Get to know her. ^{[1] X Source of Research} As with most methods, it’s easier to ask a girl out in a casual manner if you’re already friendly with each other. You don’t have to be a young couple” or her best friends, but it would be better if at least the two of you were friends who usually greet each other.

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Chat with her whenever you get the chance. If you pass her in the hallway or sidewalk, stop and talk for a bit about school, work, the weather, your favorite TV show, or any other random topic you might find yourself in. imagine.
Interact with her in a group setting. If the person of your dreams is always surrounded by other people, befriend the whole group to approach her. Interact with everyone in the group and try to befriend her friends, but give her special attention when chatting by giving at least half of your comments towards her. .

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Plan. While it’s a good idea to be casual and comfortable when making an offer, you need to plan your approach to increase your chances of success.

The benefit of this approach is that you will save face if she refuses and minimize pressure or tension between the two of you. However, this does not mean that you should be too casual and ask her casually or casually.
Visualize the first date in mind. When you ask her to be your girlfriend, you should ask her out somewhere. Usually, you should choose a fairly informal activity with plenty of opportunities for further conversation, such as going out for coffee or visiting a zoo or museum. If you choose to do something like going to the movies, make sure you both go out to eat or have coffee afterward so you have a chance to talk.

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Meet her at the right time. You should wait for the opportunity to talk to her privately. If you randomly utter your feelings in public, she may be embarrassed and likely react in a negative way.

You need to maintain a conversation before you open up. In other words, don’t ask her out as soon as you rush past her on the sidewalk, even if there’s no one around but the two of you. Wait for the opportunity to speak to her privately without any predictable interruptions.
You can create an opportunity if it doesn’t come naturally. When you meet her on the street, ask if she can spend a few minutes with you afterwards. Say you want to chat for a bit, but avoid appearing nervous or taking things too seriously. You can agree to meet somewhere casual, like outside church, work, school, near a park or coffee shop, anywhere you normally go to see her.

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First of all, chat. Set the tone for the meeting by having a casual conversation for a few minutes before opening up. Thanks to that, she will be more relaxed and the atmosphere will not be tense.

Asking her if everything is going well today/this week is a good way to start a conversation. Similarly, you can also talk about yourself after asking her about it.
You can also talk about general topics like your interests or things you usually talk about with her.

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Mention how the two of you match. Lead an unrelated conversation to the topic of love by directing her thoughts on the inherently friendly relationship between the two of you.

Make sure you bring this up as soon as you’re both laughing, agreeing on something, or there’s a good atmosphere between the two of you.
Speak calmly but honestly. Avoid exaggerating things.
So: “You know what, every time I talk to you, I’m happy. Looks like we have a lot in common. We get along really well, don’t you think?”
Don’t: “You’re the only one I can get along with like this. I would be miserable without you in my life.”

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Confess your feelings and ask her to be your lover. If she agrees with you on how you two fit together, you can take the conversation a step further and let her know you want more.

Tell her how you feel with sincerity, but don’t get too cocky.
On the other hand, you also need to make sure you don’t ask her questions in a superficial or indifferent way. She needs to see that what you think, say it.
So: “Honestly, I hope we can get closer than ‘friends.’ I love you so much, can we go on a date?”
Don’t: “Honestly, I don’t just consider you a friend—no words can describe how much I love you. Please, please be my girlfriend. I swear I’ll make you happier than any other guy in the world. I agree… right?”
Don’t: “Honestly, I’m starting to think about you, you’re really attractive. I want you to be my lover.”

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React calmly no matter how she responds. Your soul may float on cloud nine if she says yes, or crumble into ashes if she says no, but whatever the answer is, you must accept it calmly.

If she agrees, congratulations! You can smile, laugh, or confess that you were super nervous about it and are relieved that she answered, or you can tell her that you’re serious. With that said, avoid overreacting. As long as you don’t suddenly get up and do the victory dance, you’ll be fine.
If she refuses, accept it kindly and hold her head high. Don’t scold, accuse her of putting you in the “friend zone,” beg her to change her mind, or demand an explanation until she either slaps you, or tears well up in your eyes. Instead, thank her for her honest answer and let her know that you understand and accept it.

Sincere approach

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Make friends with her. Spend some time getting to know her as a close friend before taking it to the next level.

You may be worried about being put in the dreaded “friend zone,” but the truth of the matter is that many girls need to feel safe with a guy before even considering going out with them. You need to show that you genuinely care about her as a friend, and that trust will build.

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Ask her to spend time with you in a stress-free setting. When your friendship has reached the point where you can go out alone, ask her to go out with you alone.

If you want to be on the safe side, you can ask her to go somewhere strange and familiar, like a nearby coffee shop or park that you’ve both said you’d like to visit.
More daring, you can invite her to spend an afternoon or evening with you without revealing your plans. Then, take her out for a nice meal, see an interesting show, or attend a night of dancing.
Insist on paying. If she takes it seriously, tell her you want to invite her because you’re the one who asked her out.

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Consider giving her a small, inexpensive gift. ^{[2] X Research Sources} Unless you regularly give her gifts, a gift will let a girl know that there is something different—and special—about that occasion compared to other days .

Flowers, chocolates or small stuffed animals are the right choice.
Avoid giving expensive gifts like jewelry or designer clothes.

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Seriously let her know about your feelings. After you’ve spent some good time together, sit down with her and let her know you have something important to say. Once you’ve got her 100% attention, honestly say you have strong feelings for her and hope she accepts you.

Don’t be in a hurry, but at the same time don’t say it like it’s nothing important. You need to be sincere but not arrogant.
So: “I really enjoy being with you and seeing you as an important part of my life. I don’t know what to say, but I love you more than a friend. If you feel the same way, can we get to know each other?”
Don’t: “Ah, it occurred to me: we could be a couple.”
Don’t: “I never said this, but I love you more than myself. Please be mine. I can not live without you.”

Mysterious approach

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Talk to her directly. While you might want to use the “silent fan” approach to ask her out without telling her first, it’s a bad idea. Make sure she knows who you are first-hand before sending her secret hints about your feelings.

You must make sure that the two of you know each other fairly well before approaching this way. You may still be at the beginning of an acquaintance or friend relationship, but you can still do this while smiling and maintaining a relaxed atmosphere.
It is better to start this approach early, as soon as you realize your feelings.
This method is even more effective if you can time the two of you to talk more and get to know each other better, and she’ll start to suspect and even hope that you’re the one behind the scenes. mysterious emotional signals.

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Sneaking her a “quiet fan” message. Secret papers are a great way to add a little mystery to a situation, and if the girl you catch your eye is curious, this will be effective in piqued her interest. . ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Use her name in a message to let her know it’s for you without a doubt. However, do not sign the paper if you want to make it mysterious.
Keep things light. Avoid expressions that are too emotional or seem “crazy”. Instead, you should communicate in a cute, fun way without any pressure.
Don’t be afraid to “chicken”. That might not work in person, but with a message like this, a few cheesy lines can keep things light.
Tweak up a bit. You don’t have to write an essay about your love for her, but talk a little bit about how you feel so she really knows that this message is serious.
Do: “Send Linh. This is just a small note to let her know that she has a silent fan—you! Of course I don’t know who you are, but we do know each other. I am a sweet girl. I admire your kindness and wit, and I think you should know that there is someone who truly appreciates you.”
So: “Dear spirit. I want to give you a poem: “Red roses; Blue Vipet; Maybe I don’t know; Someone secretly loves me!” Signed, Linh’s Silent Fan”
Don’t: “My dear and sweet spirit, there are no words to describe my love for you. I follow you every day. I’ve seen all of your Facebook and Instagram photos, and I know more about you than you ever imagined. Last week, when you walked home in the dark, I followed you from afar to secretly protect you, because I love you so much, I would die if something happened to you. If possible, I want to watch over you 24/7. With sincere and great love, My Silent Fan.”
Don’t: “Honey! I like you.”

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Consider including a nice little gift. After you decide to send her a few secret messages, you can get creative and send a small gift with the message. However, remember that the gift should be “cute” and not expensive.

Instead of sending her a box of chocolates, send her a chocolate chip wrapped in aluminum foil with a message similar to, “A little sweet for the cute girl! Signed, My Silent Fan”
Instead of sending her a bouquet of roses, you can include a clover or wildflower that you picked yourself.
Avoid gifts such as CDs, movies, jewelry or perfume.

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Watch out for warning signs. Even if you’ve been as careful as possible to avoid confusing or panicking her, there’s still a chance she’ll feel uncomfortable with the person who left her an anonymous message. If you notice that she seems uncomfortable, stop immediately.

A clear sign is if she tears or throws the paper away as soon as she receives it.
If she suspects that you’re behind the texts and starts ignoring or avoiding you, that’s a sign that she’s upset about it.
If she doesn’t suspect you and decides to tell you about the notes and concerns about the sender, confess that you are behind this and you will stop immediately because you know the messages are causing problems. uncomfortable for her.

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Give a hint. The best mysteries are the ones that can be discovered. Although it’s considered a secret, once you’ve revealed it, you should make suggestions without telling her it’s you so she can guess who’s suspicious. You can suggest through a message or speak directly.

To include hints in messages, you need to make a comment that only you and a few others are suspicious of. For example, if only a few people know your “dreamer” is crazy about a certain group, write that you often listen to one of their songs or albums every time you think about her.
To give a hint when confronting a girl, you can flirt without stating your feelings outright. If your presence is proportional to the frequency of your texts, she will start to think of you as a possibility.

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Don’t let things drag on. Send her a few texts throughout the course or a few weeks before letting her know who you are. The “silent fan” pieces of paper can be fun and cute at first, but they become scary if they last for months or years.

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Secrets should be revealed in a memorable way. Instead of casually confessing your identity, you can turn it into a game and let her choose to play along. When revealing your identity, you should make it clear that you want to be her boyfriend.

Don’t write something like, “P.S. – I decided to let you know that I’m Quan.”
Instead, ask to meet somewhere if she wants to know who you are. Pick a public place, and make sure she knows where it is.
Tell her how you feel, tell her (in a message) that you hope she can be your lover.
So: “I think it’s time to stop keeping secrets and ask you out. If you want to know who I am, come to the coffee shop near work/school on Tuesday noon! I await your answer.”
Don’t: “I can’t wait—I really want you to be mine. I will wait in front of your house the next morning for an answer.”
Give her one last surprise when you meet her. An inexpensive bouquet of flowers or a few candy bars she likes can be a sweet gesture.

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Stay calm as she answers. Maybe you’ve successfully pursued her, but maybe you haven’t. Even if she’s flattered by your affection, she can still say that she doesn’t feel the same way.

If she accepts you, be calm, but still show how happy you are.
If she doesn’t agree, don’t throw a tantrum, pout, or try to make her feel guilty about your wasted efforts.

Steps

Conventional approach

Sincere approach

Mysterious approach

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