How to Approach a Girl in Public

Approaching a girl in public can be intimidating. However, if you pay attention to her body language and respect her personal boundaries, you will avoid misbehaving. Only with confidence and practice will you know how to approach and talk to a girl!

Table of Contents

Assess her interest

Eye contact. If you come across a girl you want to get to know, you should try to look at her before you approach her. Try looking away for a few minutes, then look at her one more time. If she catches you peeking, she will understand that she is being noticed and cared for by you.

If you can repeat eye contact with the person, that’s a sign they want you to approach. When that person looks at you three times, it means they start to care about you. ^{[1] X Research Source}
Eye contact activates reward centers in the brain, making it a powerful vehicle for attracting others. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Smile! A friendly smile is a way to show her how much you care. If she also responds with a smile, it’s a sign she cares about you too. Once the two of you have exchanged a few glances and smiles, try going over to say hello and ask her what she’s doing: “Hi, I’ve been paying attention to you for a while but just now dared to get to know her. What are you doing/reading/researching?”

Note positive body language. While reading someone else’s body language isn’t an exact science, there are a few gestures that can tell you the person wants to talk to you. If she turns or leans towards you, it means she’s comfortable when you approach. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If she looks and smiles at you, it could be a sign that she wants you to meet her!

Pay attention to negative body language. If she doesn’t want you to approach her, she will often show signs of refusal. Some common signs include turning the other way, crossing your arms, listening to music, reading, frowning, or deliberately turning away to avoid you. While not an exact sign, such emotional expression and body language usually means you should leave her alone. Be respectful and back away when she doesn’t respond with a warm gesture. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Talk to her

Actively engage in conversation. There are many ways to start a conversation. For example, ask her if she made her own earrings/made her own dress/did her own unique accessory. You can also say, “I think this dress matches your eye color. Really nice color.” Don’t be afraid to comment on what appeals to you and/or seems different, but avoid teasing or making fun of her the first time you talk.

If you’re at a bookstore or comic book store, try asking her what books she likes or is reading. You can also comment on the general atmosphere of the place: “Isn’t this place great?” or “I can’t believe they painted the walls orange” to shorten the distance.
Stop when she doesn’t want to talk to you. There are many ways to tell it, such as: she doesn’t look you in the eye, responds curtly, looks around while talking.
If she’s interested, she’ll show it through her eyes, smile, and sometimes lean in to get closer to you.

READ More: How to Be Successful

Listen when she speaks. If she wants to say something, you’ll have to pay attention and actively listen. Avoid looking at your phone or letting yourself be distracted by other things. That way, she’ll know that you’re interested in what you’re saying, and that you’ll get to know her better too, have a chance to take the conversation further, and show that you care about her.

The way to show your listening is to keep eye contact, nod, smile, and show approval by saying “Yes” or “Um”. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Don’t overthink. When approaching a girl, you shouldn’t act like you’re trying too hard. Be natural but friendly. Try saying a few subtle jokes to shorten the distance. You will act as if you were talking to a friend or acquaintance. If you’re nervous, remember the saying “pretend until you really can” to pretend to be confident and not worry at all. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Practice saying what you want to say. Think about what you want to say before you approach her so you don’t stumble and get too nervous when you approach her. Practice saying what you want to say in your head a few times or say it out loud in a private place before talking to her.

You can practice saying what you want in your head. If you’re alone or in a place where you feel comfortable putting it into words, do so; Go to the bathroom to try speaking out in a normal voice to get used to the words, tone, and slurs you want to use.
If you’re not comfortable with practicing speaking out loud, try saying it in your head or writing it down as many times as you can until you feel comfortable with it.

Reach out even if she’s with a group of friends. If she’s with her friends, you’ll talk to the whole group instead of just her. You can also say, “I see our group seems to be talking about a very interesting topic, must be talking about that guy over there…” or something silly and/or funny. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Don’t be afraid to approach a group of girls. If you are confident, you will be admired for your confidence and courage.

To build a relationship

Exchange contact information. If the two of you seem interested in each other, you should make plans to meet again in the future. Give her your phone number or email. That way, she’ll feel like she’s in control of the situation. You will know that the person cares if they actively contact you. If she refuses, back out. She has done nothing wrong with you, even if she refuses to meet you.

You can also ask for her phone number or give her your number. When giving her phone number, say it firmly and fluently like “Let me give you my number” and then write it down or type it into her phone (if allowed). If you have a business card, you can give it to her instead of writing the information, but this way seems more formal.

See you soon. If it’s before 5 p.m., you can ask her out for coffee by saying, “Let’s go for coffee!”. If it’s after 5 p.m. or later, ask her out for dinner. You could say, “Do you want to find somewhere to eat and drink?”. If she doesn’t have time, ask her about her weekend plans: “Do you have any plans for this weekend? We meet offline?”

Always choose to meet in a crowded place; You need to make her feel comfortable. Have a place in mind when you want to ask her out; Or ask her if she knows a place.
If you discover she has something in common or interests like you during a conversation, you can naturally suggest that you both do something related to that interest. For example, you could say, “Me and some friends like to take their cameras to the riverside on a Saturday afternoon, would you like to join us sometime?” Inviting her to an event or activity in a public place and having more people involved will make her feel more comfortable and also reduce the pressure on the two of you.

Show respect. This is the most important part of approaching a girl in public or in any situation. Show respect by talking to her politely. Avoid swearing, teasing her, making vulgar comments about her body, and making dark jokes. Showing respect shows that you are a good person and can be trusted. You can prove yourself trustworthy by respecting the people around you, your family and friends, and hers. If she’s not interested in you, politely accept and back out.

Advice

Personal hygiene is very important. Take a shower, brush your teeth, pick your ears, trim your nails, etc.
Don’t be discouraged if things don’t go according to plan. Because this is the reality of life. However, that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.
Avoid getting into a conversation about strange hobbies, unless it’s something you both have in common. For example, if you both enjoy sports, talking about teams and watching a game can make for an interesting date.
Don’t be shy. When everything goes well, you’ll pay for her water, dinner, and taxi ride home. If she insists on paying herself, you can say, “I’ll pay this time, and you’ll pay next time”. However, if she seems like she really wants to pay for herself, you also force her. Just say that next time you will pay. Hint: this is a great way to create a second date.
Always be honest, especially in the first meeting.
Ask for advice from your sister, aunt or friend of the opposite sex. Since they’re all female, they can give you advice.
Make sure you’re both engaged in the conversation. There is nothing worse than having only one person speak in a conversation. Ask her opinion and listen to what she has to say. This shows that you care about her thoughts and are really focused.
Girls love being asked questions – here’s how to make her feel more comfortable and secure with you. For example, you might say, “How was your day?”, “What are your hobbies?”, “Do you have a lot of close friends?”, or “Do you spend a lot of time with your family?” family?” Girls usually like guys who are close to their family.
Important note: Don’t act weird because you think she’ll like it – treat her the way you would at a fancy party, don’t use tricks or jokes until you’ve become friends or more intimate.

Warning

If you get rejected in public, don’t react negatively, just smile at her and back away.
Don’t be a fool to infer what she says. If she says she’s not interested in you, then she really doesn’t care, not playing a game of elusiveness.
Don’t approach girls at the gym. They go there to practice and are not excited about being approached.
Show respect. Behave with her properly, don’t be disrespectful and flirty.
If she’s with a group of friends, you should be prepared to impress the whole group even if you just want to approach her privately.
Don’t tell her to smile. Some girls have to hear these words often and feel uncomfortable.

Steps

Assess her interest

Talk to her

To build a relationship

Advice

Warning

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