How to Apply the No Contact Rule

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The No Contact Rule is a widely recognized strategy used to regain control and heal emotional pain after a breakup or a toxic relationship. By severing all communication and cutting off contact with an ex-partner or someone who has caused harm, individuals can create space for personal growth, reflection, and healing. This approach may seem daunting, especially if you were once heavily reliant on the person you are trying to distance yourself from. However, understanding the reasons behind the No Contact Rule and learning how to implement it effectively can be a crucial step towards moving forward and finding inner peace. In this article, we will explore the principles and strategies behind applying the No Contact Rule, providing insights and guidance to help you navigate this challenging but transformative journey.

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“Do not contact your ex!” It may seem like harsh advice, especially right after you’ve just broken up, but sometimes it’s the best thing you can do right now. The no-contact rule does exactly what its name implies – no contact with your ex for a period of time, usually 30 to 60 days. The no-contact rule can help you let go of your ex and get on with your life, or you can use it to reconnect with your ex. Ignoring your ex is never easy, so we wanted to help you with these guidelines on how to effectively apply the no-contact rule after a breakup.

Table of Contents

Steps

What is the no contact rule?

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The no-contact rule includes a period of time where you don’t interact with your ex. This means no contact of any kind – no face-to-face meetings, no texting, calling, emailing or sending social media messages. The no-contact rule typically applies between 30 and 60 days, and is most effective if you’ve just ended a toxic relationship, gone through a rough breakup, or if you want to change your mind. close and reconnect with an old lover. ^{[1] X Research Source}

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The no-contact rule will give you time to cool off and prioritize yourself. Love stories are not always smooth, and breaking up is even more serious. The best thing you can do after a breakup is take time for yourself, especially if you’ve just been through a toxic relationship. The no-contact rule will help you stay away from your ex to handle your relationship and feelings.

How does the no-contact rule apply?

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Let your ex know that you need your own space. Things will be easier if you let your ex know first. Whether you’re going to adopt a no-contact rule to get over your ex or get back together with your ex, you should let the other person know that you won’t be talking to them for a while. ^{[2] X Research Source} You can express it in the following ways: ^{[3] X Research Source}

• If you’re getting back together with your ex: “I really like you, but I need time to think things over” or “I think we should be apart for a while. That will be good for both you and me.”
• If you want to let go: “I used to be very important to you, but now things are not the same. You need some time to reflect” or “I want us to be friends later, but right now I need some space.”

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Cut off all communication channels with your ex. Stopping all interactions is the first step of the no-contact rule. Don’t call or text your ex, don’t visit their profile on social media, and don’t respond when they contact you. Cutting things off from someone who was once close to you can be difficult, but understand that this will get you closer to your goal.

• Tell your friends not to talk about your ex in front of you. You probably don’t want to hear about that person during this time.

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Ignore it for 30 days if you want to get back with your ex. A month of no contact is enough to make the other person miss you. Perhaps you and your ex spent a lot of time together before you broke up, and probably talked on the phone or texted when you weren’t together. When the two of you are so close and suddenly stop, your ex may realize how wrong they were. Here are some signs your ex has changed and wants you back after 30 days of no contact: ^{[4] X Research Source}

• They start showing concern for you by texting or leaving voicemail messages.
• They apologize for hurting you.
• They express their desire to make peace with you verbally or surprise you with gifts.

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Ignore your ex for at least 60 days if you want to close the relationship and move on. Double your non-contact time for more breathing space. A breakup can leave you emotionally confused, but the no-contact rule can help you get over your ex. Stopping all contact with the other person will help you process your emotions and re-evaluate your relationship. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

• Your relationship with your ex has become a habit that you need to break. It takes 21 days to break a habit, so a triple that will make it easier to break through. ^{[6] X Research Source}

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Unfollow your ex on social media. Photos of your ex that you come across on social media will make the no-contact rule harder to succeed. Remove their images from your feed by muting or unfollowing them. Thus, when surfing social networks, you will not worry about accidentally meeting your ex as if you were staring at you. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

• We know this is a tough step, but the no-contact rule means stopping all forms of interaction on all platforms. Don’t forget that you are doing this to heal the wound.

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Maintain a busy life so you don’t think about your ex. Create a daily routine and stick to it to forget about the other person. You may not be used to living without the person you used to be close to, but a busy schedule will save you time to think about contacting them. Get up every morning ready to go to school or work, gather with friends to have fun and keep up a normal routine – don’t let old memories stop you from moving on! ^{[8] X Research Sources}

• Call a friend you haven’t seen in a while or add a gym session to your schedule. Find ways to fill in the gaps in your daily routine.
• Learn more or get a job. This will keep you busy to forget your ex and look to the future.

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Lean on people you trust for support. You don’t have to silently cut off contact with your ex alone. Believe it or not, perhaps some of the people you hold dear have been in the same situation as you. This is a difficult time, but you are not alone. Find people you trust and love, and don’t be afraid to have fun! ^{[9] X Research Source}

• Visiting a relative you haven’t seen in a few years.
• Go to lunch with a close friend or colleague.
• Go to an amusement park concert with family and friends.

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Reward yourself. Take advantage of the non-contact time to pamper yourself. You’ve been through a lot and now you deserve some consolation! Buy your favorite outfit, go to the theater to see a good movie, or treat yourself to a spa session. Do what makes you happy, maybe during this time you will start to forget your ex. ^{[10] X Research Source}

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Hang out with old and new friends. Socializing with other people is a way to pass the time and get over your ex. The no-contact rule requires a lot of work and determination, and just because you cut ties with one person, you stop communicating with everyone! Call an old friend to chat or invite a new colleague out to lunch. ^{[11] X Research Source}

• Strengthening new and old relationships can help you re-evaluate your relationship with your ex. Do you want to get back and bond with your ex, or do you decide to just let it go and move on?

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Try out new hobbies and experiences. Take this opportunity to experience life without your ex’s presence. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to try, then wait no more! Breakups are often painful, in part because everything around us often reminds us of our ex. Learning new skills and going on adventures can help you get over your ex. ^{[12] X Research Source}

• Pack your bags and hit the road, book a solo getaway, or visit loved ones for 30 to 60 days. The new environment won’t remind you of your ex anymore and it will be much easier to stay out of touch with them.
• Sign up for drawing or guitar classes if you’ve been wanting to learn for a while. Filling your time with a new hobby is also a way to resist the temptation to hit the call button for your ex.

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Exercise every day to keep your spirits up. Exercising or going for a walk outdoors are physical activities that make you feel better. You will easily forget the troubles during exercise because you have to focus on moving your body. ^{[13] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

• Exercising for at least 20 minutes a day is a great way to boost your overall health and help you miss your ex.
• You can choose any type of activity, as long as it’s fun! Try walking, swimming, dancing, or yoga. You have tons of options!
• Get a friend to practice with to make this task even more exciting. This will help you both improve your health and strengthen your friendships.

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Think about your relationship. Ignore the ex, but don’t ignore your feelings! You’re going through a lot of ups and downs, so take this time to re-evaluate your relationship. Getting up after a breakup is certainly not easy, and staying out of touch with your ex can help you heal. If you’re looking to get back on your feet with a no-contact rule, give yourself time to process your emotions. You can ask yourself the following questions: ^{[14] X Research Sources}

• What do I regret about this relationship?
• What do I not regret about this relationship?
• What did I learn after the breakup?

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Reach out to your ex after a period of no contact if you’re ready. This step can help you decide to let go of the past or reconnect with your ex. After 30-60 days of no contact, you’re probably ready to get back in touch and start talking. This can help you end an affair, start a friendship, or rekindle love. If you’re not ready, don’t worry! Each of us has a unique rhythm, and sometimes communication is not the best way for everyone. ^{[15] X Research Source}

• Let them know your intentions early on by saying that you want to be friends or reconnect with them. Try texting something like, “Thank you for giving me time to think. I want to be friends with you if you can see” or “I have had time to think about our relationship. I think we should give each other a chance to date again.” ^{[16] X Research Source}
• Send a simple text to start a conversation like “Hello” or “Did you hear about tomorrow’s event?” ^{[17] X Research Source}

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This article is co-authored by a team of editors and trained researchers who confirm the accuracy and completeness of the article.

The wikiHow Content Management team carefully monitors the work of editors to ensure that every article is up to a high standard of quality.

There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 2,739 times.

“Do not contact your ex!” It may seem like harsh advice, especially right after you’ve just broken up, but sometimes it’s the best thing you can do right now. The no-contact rule does exactly what its name implies – no contact with your ex for a period of time, usually 30 to 60 days. The no-contact rule can help you let go of your ex and get on with your life, or you can use it to reconnect with your ex. Ignoring your ex is never easy, so we wanted to help you with these guidelines on how to effectively apply the no-contact rule after a breakup.

In conclusion, the No Contact Rule is a powerful tool to use when dealing with a breakup or a toxic relationship. It allows individuals to prioritize their own well-being and emotions, enabling them to heal and move forward. Applying the No Contact Rule requires discipline, self-control, and a commitment to personal growth. By cutting off communication with an ex or a toxic person, individuals create the necessary space to reflect on the relationship, gain clarity, and rebuild their self-esteem. It is important to remember that the No Contact Rule may not bring immediate results, as healing takes time. However, by sticking to the rule and focusing on self-improvement, individuals can ultimately find happiness and develop healthier relationships in the future.

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