How to Apologize to a Girl Through Text

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This article was co-written by Courtney Quinlan. Courtney Quinlan is a matchmaker, dating coach, and owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding partners for clients, guiding them through the dating process and organizing events for singles in the Midwest. She holds a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska at Omaha.

There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

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There is no worse feeling than when you hurt someone you care about. If you’ve said or done something that upset a girl, apologize right away so she can forgive you. Apologizing via text can be difficult, but it’s doable if you do it right!

Here are 10 tips that you need to remember when you want to apologize to a girl over text.

Table of Contents

Put yourself in her place.

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Try looking at things from her point of view. Before you text her, take a moment to think about how you would feel if someone hurt you the way you hurt her. Empathize to understand what she’s going through and what you can say to fix your mistake. Try to understand her feelings and you’ll know what to say to atone. ^{[1] X Research Source}

For example, if you forgot her birthday, try to imagine how you would feel if she forgot yours.

Apologize and apologize.

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The first thing is to admit the error. Don’t talk around. Be frank and say you were wrong and sincerely apologize to her. Maybe she’ll forgive you right away for your honesty, or she may need more time before making a decision. It is important that you are willing to admit your mistake and apologize. ^{[2] X Research Source}

You can send a text message with something like, “I’m really sorry for hurting you”. The content just needs to be short and focus on the main topic.
Even if you’re not really wrong, you can still fix the problem by proactively apologizing.

Take responsibility for your actions.

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Accept mistakes and avoid making excuses. Let her know it’s entirely your fault for hurting her. Don’t blame other people or factors. She will easily accept an apology when you are honest and willing to admit it. ^{[3] X Trusted Source Association for Psychpogical Science Go to Source}

If you forget to reply to her texts or don’t call like you promised, try saying, “It’s your fault. You are wrong”.
If you’re willing to admit it, she’ll probably admit it too. For example, if she’s angry and loud because you don’t answer the phone while you’re busy, you could say, “I should have told you I couldn’t use the phone. It’s your fault.” She will apologize for being angry with you.

Express regret for what you did.

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Let her know that you feel bad for hurting her. Besides admitting fault, you should express how bad you feel after hurting her. Talk more about your feelings and feelings of regret for thoughtless words or actions. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, if you ignored her this past weekend and made her unhappy, you could say, “I’m sorry. He’s been feeling restless all day. I’m sorry for making you sad, I wish I hadn’t.”

Explain why you made the mistake.

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Show her that you understand the seriousness of your actions. Mistakes are often not just words or actions that are wrong. Find out all the reasons why your actions have a negative effect on her. Explain clearly how you understand you have hurt her; that way, she will easily accept and forgive you. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

For example, if you didn’t notice or mentioned her new hairstyle and it hurt her feelings, you could apologize and text her, “I know you want to try a new style and want to know me. how do you feel. I mustered up the courage to do it and it’s really bad for you not to ask or tell me what you think.”

Don’t make excuses for your mistakes.

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The apology should focus on her instead of you. Similar to avoiding making excuses or blaming, it’s important when apologizing not to try to downplay your mistake. This is an act of disrespect for her feelings. Don’t apologize for yourself. Instead, talk about the negative impact you caused and your feelings of regret. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

For example, you could text: “I know I hurt you and I’m really sorry,” instead of: “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Let her express her feelings.

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This will help her heal the damage caused by your actions. Saying sorry is the first step to making up for the girl who is hurting. Try not to talk too much or focus on your regrets. You should ask her what she thinks and feels after accepting your apology. Give her a chance to express her feelings. ^{[7] X Trusted Source Association for Psychpogical Science Go to Source}

You just need to compose a simple message like “Can you tell me what you are thinking?” or “How do you feel about this incident?”

Let her know you want redemption.

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Proactively correct and improve your behavior. Ask her if there’s anything you can do better. Show her that you’re willing and willing to do whatever it takes to correct the mistake. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Try saying, “I want a chance at redemption. I can do anything, as long as you give me a chance.”

Hope she forgives you.

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This might help her get over her anger. After apologizing, apologizing, and trying to atone, try asking her if she’ll accept the apology and forgive you. Maybe she needs time to reflect and that’s completely normal. Give her the time and space she needs. She also needs to be willing to move on and let go. ^{[9] X Research Source}

You can text: “I’m sorry I hurt you and I’ll do anything to have a chance to make it up to you. Will you forgive me?”

Apologies directly.

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Repeat what you said when you met her. Apologizing over text is the first step in healing your relationship with her, but you also need to take action right after. When you meet her, say sorry again and deliver on what you promised or committed to when you said sorry. ^{[10] X Research Source}

For example, if you canceled your plans at the last minute and texted her to apologize, the next time you see her, say, “I’m sorry again for what happened last time.”

Advice

If she wants to be alone for a while, you should give her time to calm down before texting an apology.
If she doesn’t accept the apology via text, try saying it directly. Sometimes, saying sorry directly is a more effective way to correct a mistake. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Warning

Don’t push too hard if she’s not ready to talk or forgive you. This could keep her away from you.

Steps