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How to Accept Yourself

February 10, 2024 by admin Category: How To

You are viewing the article How to Accept Yourself  at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.

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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

This article has been viewed 13,284 times.

Self-acceptance is the ability to value all parts of who you are unconditionally. This means that you appreciate both the good parts and the parts that you think need improvement. [1] X Source of Research Self-acceptance often begins with acknowledging judgments against yourself and softening those judgments, so that every part of you is appreciated. [2] X Sources of Research Furthermore, it is important to commit to yourself that will shift the focus from criticism and reprimand to forgiveness and love. [3] X Research Sources

Table of Contents

  • Steps
    • Accept the way you think about yourself
    • Inner Criticism Challenge
    • Build Self-Love
    • Receive help
  • Advice

Steps

Accept the way you think about yourself

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Image titled Write Personal Goals Step 3

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Acknowledge strengths and characteristics. Accepting your strengths, or traits, that you hold dear to help bring about work balance can be effective in acknowledging the part of you that is less appreciated. Plus, recognizing your strengths helps change your self-concept. [4] X Research Resources Start by listing your strengths, or list one strength each day if it’s difficult to think about them. For example:

  • I am a person rich in compassion.
  • I am a strong mother.
  • I am a talented painter.
  • I am a creative problem solver.
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Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 2

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Create an achievement list. Identify and recognize your strengths by making a list of your accomplishments. These can include people you’ve helped, personal accomplishments, or a tough time you’ve been through. [5] X Research Resources The illustrations above can help direct your focus to action or behavior. The more specific and clear the example, the more you will realize your own strengths. For example:

  • The day my father passed away was a difficult time for the family, but I am proud of myself that I helped my mother through those painful days.
  • I set my sights on conquering half a marathon, and after 6 months of training, I’ve crossed the finish line!
  • After losing my job, I had a hard time adjusting myself and paying the bills. But I’ve learned more about my strengths and I’m in a better place now.
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Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 3

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Be aware of how you judge yourself. Recognizing self-criticism is important in helping you see the areas in which you often criticize yourself excessively. [6] X Research Sources Excessive criticism is when you have feelings of dissatisfaction with some scope of your own making or dissatisfaction with your own characteristics. This can include feelings of shame or disappointment, and they can suppress self-acceptance. Start by making a list of negative thoughts about yourself. For example:

  • I won’t be able to do anything right anymore.
  • I always see other people’s comments in the wrong direction; something is wrong with me.
  • I’m too fat.
  • I hate making decisions.
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Realize how people’s comments affect you. When others make comments, we often absorb these comments and turn them into our views of ourselves. If you can find the root of your self-criticism, then you can start rethinking how well you know yourself. [7] X Research Sources

  • For example, if your mother was always critical of your appearance, you may now feel less confident. Be aware, however, that your mother’s criticism is because she feels insecure. Once you realize this, you will begin to regain confidence in your appearance.
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Inner Criticism Challenge

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Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 5

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Detect when you think negative things. Once you know some of the aspects of your life that you criticize the most, it’s time to silence your “inner critic”. [8] X Research Source Inner Criticism will tell you things like, “I don’t have an ideal body shape” or “I can’t do anything right”. Calming your inner critic will reduce the emphasis on negative self-image, thereby making room for love, forgiveness, and acceptance. To silence your inner critic, practice catching negative thoughts whenever they arise. For example, if you catch yourself thinking like, “I’m just an idiot,” ask yourself something like:

  • Is this positive thinking?
  • Will this way of thinking make me feel better?
  • Should I tell my friends or lovers about this?
  • If the answers to all of the above questions are no, you will find that your inner critic will criticize again.
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Challenge your inner critic. When you notice that you have a negative mindset about yourself, challenge and soften this critical voice. Be prepared to accept opposing thoughts or ideas positively. You can apply the strengths you just discovered in the steps above. [9] X Research Source

  • For example, if you find yourself saying, “I’m so stupid,” change that mindset with a better expression: “Even though I don’t know anything about the subject, I still know what I’m talking about. another topic, and that’s normal.”
  • Remind yourself of your strengths: “We’re not all great at the same thing. I know that I am proficient or specialized in another area, and I take pride in that.”
  • Remind your inner critic that the negative statement is not true. “Okay, inner critique. I know you’ve said that I’m not wise, but that’s not true. I realized that I had an important and specific area of knowledge.”
  • Make sure to always take a positive look at your inner critic. Remind and educate yourself as you are still learning how to change the way you think about yourself.
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Focus on accepting yourself first and then improving yourself. Self-acceptance is acknowledging who you are right now. Self-improvement often focuses on the change needed to accept yourself in the future. [10] X Research Sources , [11] X Research Sources Identify some areas that you cherish at the moment. Then decide if you want to improve them in the future.

  • For example, you are trying to lose weight. First, start by expressing self-acceptance about your current body weight: “Even if I want to lose weight, I’m still beautiful and comfortable as usual.” Then, align your self-improvement with positive and optimistic language. Instead of thinking, “I don’t have a perfect body, and when I lose 8kg, I will look more beautiful and comfortable,” you can say, “I want to lose 8kg to be healthier and more energetic. “.
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Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 8

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Change your expectations of yourself. When you set unrealistic expectations for yourself, you’re setting yourself up for further disappointment. In other words, this will make it difficult for you to accept yourself. Change your expectations of yourself. [12] X Research Source

  • For example, if you say, “I’m lazy. I didn’t even clean the kitchen today,” or change your expectations by saying, “I prepared dinner for the whole family. I can ask the kids to help clean up the kitchen after breakfast tomorrow.”

Build Self-Love

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Understand that you deserve to be loved. It might sound a little weird or uncomfortable to say that you build self-love because it sounds a little selfish. However, love is seen as the foundation of self-acceptance. The reason is because loving-kindness is “a sense of empathy for the pain of another with the desire to be able to alleviate it”. [13] X Research Source You deserve such sympathy and kindness! The first step to self-love is to recognize your own worth. [14] X Research Sources It is easy and common to let the thoughts, feelings, opinions, and beliefs of others govern self-recognition. Instead of letting self-acceptance depend on someone else’s decision, decide for yourself. Learn to recognize and accept yourself without the consent of others. [15] X Research Source
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Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 10

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Practice affirmations every day. Affirmations are positive expressions that are supportive and uplifting. Applying this method to yourself can be an effective tool to help build self-love. [16] X Love Research Resource makes it easy to empathize and forgive your past self, thereby helping you to overcome guilt and regret. Daily affirmations also help gradually change your inner critic. Build love each day by confirming it in words, writings, or thoughts. Some examples of affirmations include:

  • I can get through tough times; I am stronger than I thought.
  • I’m not perfect and can make mistakes; and this is normal.
  • I am a kind and caring child.
  • Practice love. If you’re having a hard day accepting a certain part of who you are, take a moment and gently build self-love. Accept that self-criticism can be hurtful and too cruel. Remind yourself to be gentle and practice self-affirmation. [17] X Research Source
  • For example: If you think, “I don’t have an ideal body; I look a little fat,” admit that the mindset isn’t harsh on yourself: “This is negative thinking and I shouldn’t tell my friends about it. It demoralizes me and it’s not worth it.”
  • Say something nice: “My body may not be perfect, but it’s my body; It’s healthy and allows me to do everything I like, like play with the kids.”
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Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 11

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Practice forgiveness. Practicing self-forgiveness can help ease past feelings of guilt that might be preventing you from fully accepting yourself now. You can judge the past, based on unrealistic hopes. Forgiving yourself will help let go of the shame and make room for more love and acceptance of the past. At times, our inner critic may be reluctant to allow us to forgive our past selves.

  • Sometimes, we treat ourselves badly by focusing only on the fault. Pay special attention to the mistake you may have made. Try to assess if there are external factors involved in the situation. Sometimes, things can be out of our control, yet, we still hold on to guilt. Consider whether the action is really out of your control and be forgiving.
  • To help you practice tolerance, letter writing exercises can be a great cognitive and emotional tool to start the process. [18] X Research Source Write a letter to your past self in a caring and loving tone. Remind your past self (inner critique) that you made a mistake. But you know that you’re not perfect, and that’s okay. Mistakes often provide us with valuable learning opportunities. Reminding yourself how you acted or what you did is all you know how to do in that moment.
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Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 12

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Turn guilt thoughts into expressions of gratitude. Remembering that you often learn from past mistakes will help you think about the past in a positive light. Practice being grateful for what you’ve learned and accepting that making mistakes is a part of life. From there, past guilt and shame won’t stop you from accepting who you are now. Write down guilty phrases/thoughts, and turn them into expressions of gratitude. [19] X Research Source Example:

  • Negative Thoughts/Inner Criticism: I used to hate my family when I was about 20 years old. Now I’m ashamed of having behaved like that.
    • Express gratitude: I feel grateful that I learned a lesson from this act at that age, because it really helped in raising kids.
  • Negative Thoughts/Inner Criticism: I broke my family up because I couldn’t give up drinking.
    • Express gratitude: I’m grateful that I can mend the relationship and try again in the future.
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Receive help

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Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 13

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Always be by the side of a loving person. If you spend time with someone who denies your worth as a person, then you will have a hard time accepting yourself. When people are constantly criticizing you, it can be difficult to convince yourself that you have strengths. Spend time with those who truly support and love you. They will encourage you to accept your true self. [20] X Research Source
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Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 14

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Go see a specialist. A therapist can help you remove any problems that are preventing you from accepting yourself. Your doctor can help you dig deeper into your past to understand why you think that way about yourself. They can also suggest some ways to talk to yourself, like giving you some suggestions for self-affirmation, and more.
  • Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 15

    Image titled Learn to Accept Yourself Step 15

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    Set personal boundaries and communicate with others assertively. When you need to interact with people who are often critical or disheartening, you should build boundaries with them. Talk to these people so they understand how hurtful and unhelpful their comments are.

    • For example, if your boss is always criticizing your work, you might say, “I feel like I didn’t get enough support while working on this project. I want to do a good job, but it’s hard to please him. Let’s come up with a solution that works for both of us.”
  • Advice

    • Self-acceptance takes time. After all, you’ll be helping yourself learn new skills about how to talk to yourself. Be patient with yourself.
    • Time is always precious. Live each day to the fullest by practicing patience and limitless love for yourself.
    • Pay attention to what others say about you. Try to perfect yourself accordingly, but don’t completely change who you are. You are unique in this world.
    X

    This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

    There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.

    This article has been viewed 13,284 times.

    Self-acceptance is the ability to value all parts of who you are unconditionally. This means that you appreciate both the good parts and the parts that you think need improvement. [1] X Source of Research Self-acceptance often begins with acknowledging judgments against yourself and softening those judgments, so that every part of you is appreciated. [2] X Sources of Research Furthermore, it is important to commit to yourself that will shift the focus from criticism and reprimand to forgiveness and love. [3] X Research Sources

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