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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 13,284 times.
Self-acceptance is the ability to value all parts of who you are unconditionally. This means that you appreciate both the good parts and the parts that you think need improvement. [1] X Source of Research Self-acceptance often begins with acknowledging judgments against yourself and softening those judgments, so that every part of you is appreciated. [2] X Sources of Research Furthermore, it is important to commit to yourself that will shift the focus from criticism and reprimand to forgiveness and love. [3] X Research Sources
Steps
Accept the way you think about yourself
- I am a person rich in compassion.
- I am a strong mother.
- I am a talented painter.
- I am a creative problem solver.
- The day my father passed away was a difficult time for the family, but I am proud of myself that I helped my mother through those painful days.
- I set my sights on conquering half a marathon, and after 6 months of training, I’ve crossed the finish line!
- After losing my job, I had a hard time adjusting myself and paying the bills. But I’ve learned more about my strengths and I’m in a better place now.
- I won’t be able to do anything right anymore.
- I always see other people’s comments in the wrong direction; something is wrong with me.
- I’m too fat.
- I hate making decisions.
- For example, if your mother was always critical of your appearance, you may now feel less confident. Be aware, however, that your mother’s criticism is because she feels insecure. Once you realize this, you will begin to regain confidence in your appearance.
Inner Criticism Challenge
- Is this positive thinking?
- Will this way of thinking make me feel better?
- Should I tell my friends or lovers about this?
- If the answers to all of the above questions are no, you will find that your inner critic will criticize again.
- For example, if you find yourself saying, “I’m so stupid,” change that mindset with a better expression: “Even though I don’t know anything about the subject, I still know what I’m talking about. another topic, and that’s normal.”
- Remind yourself of your strengths: “We’re not all great at the same thing. I know that I am proficient or specialized in another area, and I take pride in that.”
- Remind your inner critic that the negative statement is not true. “Okay, inner critique. I know you’ve said that I’m not wise, but that’s not true. I realized that I had an important and specific area of knowledge.”
- Make sure to always take a positive look at your inner critic. Remind and educate yourself as you are still learning how to change the way you think about yourself.
- For example, you are trying to lose weight. First, start by expressing self-acceptance about your current body weight: “Even if I want to lose weight, I’m still beautiful and comfortable as usual.” Then, align your self-improvement with positive and optimistic language. Instead of thinking, “I don’t have a perfect body, and when I lose 8kg, I will look more beautiful and comfortable,” you can say, “I want to lose 8kg to be healthier and more energetic. “.
- For example, if you say, “I’m lazy. I didn’t even clean the kitchen today,” or change your expectations by saying, “I prepared dinner for the whole family. I can ask the kids to help clean up the kitchen after breakfast tomorrow.”
Build Self-Love
- I can get through tough times; I am stronger than I thought.
- I’m not perfect and can make mistakes; and this is normal.
- I am a kind and caring child.
- Practice love. If you’re having a hard day accepting a certain part of who you are, take a moment and gently build self-love. Accept that self-criticism can be hurtful and too cruel. Remind yourself to be gentle and practice self-affirmation. [17] X Research Source
- For example: If you think, “I don’t have an ideal body; I look a little fat,” admit that the mindset isn’t harsh on yourself: “This is negative thinking and I shouldn’t tell my friends about it. It demoralizes me and it’s not worth it.”
- Say something nice: “My body may not be perfect, but it’s my body; It’s healthy and allows me to do everything I like, like play with the kids.”
- Sometimes, we treat ourselves badly by focusing only on the fault. Pay special attention to the mistake you may have made. Try to assess if there are external factors involved in the situation. Sometimes, things can be out of our control, yet, we still hold on to guilt. Consider whether the action is really out of your control and be forgiving.
- To help you practice tolerance, letter writing exercises can be a great cognitive and emotional tool to start the process. [18] X Research Source Write a letter to your past self in a caring and loving tone. Remind your past self (inner critique) that you made a mistake. But you know that you’re not perfect, and that’s okay. Mistakes often provide us with valuable learning opportunities. Reminding yourself how you acted or what you did is all you know how to do in that moment.
- Negative Thoughts/Inner Criticism: I used to hate my family when I was about 20 years old. Now I’m ashamed of having behaved like that.
- Express gratitude: I feel grateful that I learned a lesson from this act at that age, because it really helped in raising kids.
- Negative Thoughts/Inner Criticism: I broke my family up because I couldn’t give up drinking.
- Express gratitude: I’m grateful that I can mend the relationship and try again in the future.
Receive help
- For example, if your boss is always criticizing your work, you might say, “I feel like I didn’t get enough support while working on this project. I want to do a good job, but it’s hard to please him. Let’s come up with a solution that works for both of us.”
Advice
- Self-acceptance takes time. After all, you’ll be helping yourself learn new skills about how to talk to yourself. Be patient with yourself.
- Time is always precious. Live each day to the fullest by practicing patience and limitless love for yourself.
- Pay attention to what others say about you. Try to perfect yourself accordingly, but don’t completely change who you are. You are unique in this world.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 13,284 times.
Self-acceptance is the ability to value all parts of who you are unconditionally. This means that you appreciate both the good parts and the parts that you think need improvement. [1] X Source of Research Self-acceptance often begins with acknowledging judgments against yourself and softening those judgments, so that every part of you is appreciated. [2] X Sources of Research Furthermore, it is important to commit to yourself that will shift the focus from criticism and reprimand to forgiveness and love. [3] X Research Sources
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