How soon should I reply to a girl’s text?

Gorilla! Your phone says you have an incoming text, and it’s from her! Should you answer immediately, or wait a while? You probably don’t want to seem too pushy, but of course you want to keep the conversation going. With the right timing to respond, you can show the girl you like her while still remaining calm and confident. We know it’s easy to get nervous when texting the girl you have a crush on, so think about when you should reply to her. We asked dating experts for advice on when to reply to texts – here’s what they say.

Table of Contents

Respond in 5 minutes while you’re texting the girl you like.

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You’ll sound like you’re in a hurry if you answer right away. Responding 5 minutes after receiving the text is ideal, as you’ll have time to come up with the perfect response that will express yourself and get her attention. ^{[1] X Research Source} Plus, replying to messages after a few minutes doesn’t make her wait too long, so you can keep the conversation going.

Get the story going by asking follow-up questions and sending messages that show you’re interested in what she has to say.
For example, if she says she’s resting at home and watching a TV show you also know, say, “I’d love to have a night like that, too. But I’m taking care of the main character here. What is he thinking?”
Repeat something she once mentioned to make her happy. Try saying, “I found the band you talked about the other day. Their new album is weird! Have you heard?”

Answer after 10-15 minutes to appear calm.

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Wait 10-15 minutes to show her you have an interesting life too. If you respond right away, she might think you’re staring at your phone waiting for her to text. ^{[2] X Research Source} When you see the message notification light on, take a deep breath and step away from your phone. Put your phone on silent or “do not disturb” mode, then go for a walk, grab a snack or pop up your favorite music playlist.

Once you’ve calmed down, start texting back. This will help you exude confidence. You made it!
If you want to sound laid-back, use more affirmations than questions in your responses, and send messages boasting something interesting about yourself.
For example, if she talks about a trip to the mountains, instead of saying, “Having fun?”, you could say, “I used to love climbing too, but I’m tired of climbing so now I should just play ping pong! Haha”

Answer within 1-3 hours to be polite.

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After more than 3 hours, the reply is the type of texting that causes awkward silence. You know the feeling when you say something and wait for the other person to answer right? Everyone knows it’s not fun. Conversations have a natural interest and rhythm when two people have feelings for each other. ^{[3] X Research Sources} If you respond within the last 3 hours, you can help keep the conversation from cooling off. If you keep her waiting for more than a few hours, she can understand that you’re not interested.

Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t respond when you wait more than 3 hours to respond.
If you’re not very interested, politely let her know. You can send a text like, “I think you’re great, but I’m not looking for anything right now.” ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Reply as soon as possible if you really like her.

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Be honest and bold if you want to ask her out. Respond as soon as you receive her texts to signal that you really like her. ^{[5] X Research Source} When you feel the vibrations in the conversation don’t think about following the rules or the game of chase. Respond naturally and express your feelings for her.

Jokes, compliments, and long texts are all signs that she’s flirting with you.
If you want to turn a text conversation into a real-life conversation, take her out! Keep it simple, like, “Do you want us to go out some day? Shall we go to dinner this weekend?”
Respond right away if she texts you to invite you or asks about a date you’ve planned.

Text back 24 hours after the first date.

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Nowadays people use the 24 hour rule instead of the 3 day rule. Instead of waiting 3 days after your date to send her a traditional text message, send her a simple thank you text the next day. You can still wait 1-2 days to ask her out for a second date, but it’s a good idea to let her know early on that you enjoy being around her. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Do you want to impress her? Let her know you care about her by texting her right after the date, like, “Thank you for making it a great evening. Did you get home safely?”
Mention a standout event or interesting moment that you both experienced during your date. You might say, “What a great weekend! I still laugh at the crazy story we heard that day!”
You can also try classic texting like “Thank you for a great evening. I’ll see you again someday!”

Reply within 1 hour if you have been dating for a while.

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Communication is crucial in the early stages of a relationship. When the girl you’re dating texts you, respond quickly so she doesn’t feel lethargic and hurt. ^{[7] X Trusted Source Association for Psychpogical Science Going to the source} Busy is normal, but as a general rule, try to respond within an hour with an inquiry-style message like “Today how are you?”

If the messages are overwhelming, let her know. Say something like “I love talking to you, but I don’t like texting very much. Can I call you after work instead of texting?”
Reply immediately to messages that need an early reply from the girl you are dating. If she needs to know when you’ll meet later or which restaurant to go to, don’t keep her waiting.

Use a reliable tactic of mimicking your opponent’s response time.

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Dating and flirting revolves around adjusting for each other. If she responds to you lightning fast, it’s a clear sign that she likes you. Respond just as quickly to show her that you’re right for each other. But if she usually waits 20-30 minutes to reply, you don’t have to worry about replying right away.

If you’re nervous about texting her, imagine you’re just texting a friend. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Let her know if you’re too busy to text right away.

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Send a quick message in advance if you want to keep talking but have work to do. We’re all busy at times, and it’s okay if you can’t reply right away! Give her a good and honest reason why you can’t answer right away so she doesn’t misunderstand you’re avoiding and let her know that you want to continue the conversation later. ^{[9] X Research Source}

“Oi! I want to talk to you again, but tomorrow morning I have to get up early to practice. Shall we talk tomorrow? :)”
“He couldn’t talk anymore. I have to go out with my friends, but shall we see each other later?”
“It’s time for work, I have to put my phone away. I’ll text you after work!”

Wait for her to text back if she sends a “I’m busy” text.

Only send one message at a time.

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Try not to send two messages in a row so she doesn’t get overwhelmed. It’s easy to send text messages while you’re trying to keep the conversation going, but you need to give her time to ask questions and flirt back with you. However, you can still break the rule of not sending multiple texts in a row if she usually does. At that time, you can send many messages if the two of you are chatting happily back and forth. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Stop pursuing her if she takes too long to respond or ignores you.

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The act of “disappearing” is an expression of disinterest and impoliteness. It can be heartbreaking to know someone doesn’t like you, but remember that this act reveals the other person’s character and has nothing to do with you. Someone is always interested in replying to your messages!

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