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This article was co-written by Joshua Pompey. Joshua Pompey is a relationship consultant with over 10 years of experience advising clients in the online dating world. Joshua has been running his relationship consulting firm since 2009 with a 99% success rate. His work has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired and Refinery29 and he is considered the best online relationship consultant in the world.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 2,687 times.
Most people easily balance friendship and love; However, many people unknowingly develop higher feelings for their close friends. If this happens, or if you are worried that it will happen, then you need to skillfully avoid the triggers of love development from the friendship.
Steps
When you’re with your best friend
- Attaching to the feelings of a man and a woman will complicate things and destroy lasting friendships.
- As a friend, you must be able to listen to your best friend dating someone else without feeling jealous or longing. If you can’t do that, you need more time away from the person. [2] X Research Source
- Check your dating history again. This step will help you take a closer look at your dating stereotypes and learn how to break them. [4] X Research Sources
- Change requires action on your part. You will need to actively change the way you think about your best friend, to stop seeing them as potential love interest.
- Try to be aware of times when you have romantic or sexual thoughts about your friend. Put on a rubber band to snap yourself when you have guilty thoughts as soon as they start. [5] X Research Sources
- If you think of your best friend as a brother or family member, then your attractiveness will decrease. Think of them in the most down-to-earth way possible.
- Be friends, but avoid acting like lovers. For example, holding hands, hugging intimately, or kissing.
- Consider limiting interactions or going out alone. Try to only hang out once a week.
- Use excuses to decline when your friend asks you to hang out with the two of you, or go for a walk together in crowded places. For example, the two of you could go to coffee or the park instead of going to each other’s houses.
- You can confide in other friends, but this also depends. If this person has the ability to spread your story around or make fun of you, don’t tell them.
- See if setting boundaries and spending less time with your friend makes you feel less emotional. You may be able to deal with your feelings on your own and don’t need to tell anyone about it.
- If your friend already has a boyfriend (or you already have a boyfriend), or they have shown that they have no interest in going any further with you, then you should not confess your feelings and instead should date. others.
- However, you may need to have an honest conversation with your friend about your feelings. If the feelings don’t fade, or your friend is hurt and confused by your sudden separation, it’s best to tell them what’s going on.
Overcome your emotions
- See friends or family at least a few times a week. Keep interacting with people to distract your mind from your love for your friend.
- You can keep yourself busy if family/friends can’t be around. Take a walk or bike ride, explore the city, find a new hobby, or take a class.
- Do exercise. You can burn off frustration and release endorphins with more physical activity.
- Try to be physically active for about 30 minutes a day. Most experts recommend 150 minutes of moderate exercise each week or 75 minutes of more intense exercise. [10] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Do things you love, like shopping or meeting friends. These distractions can help keep you happy and take your mind off your other friend.
- Make sure to eat nutritious food, shower and trim daily. Many people leave themselves alone when they’re broken up, but that only makes it harder to get over the heartbreak and not feel better.
- If you talk to a friend about your feelings, make sure it’s someone you can trust. You don’t want to be teased or your crush knows about this sentiment.
- If you are looking for a psychotherapist, ask your doctor for a good recommendation.
- A qualified therapist to help you through this immediate problem. You can uncover behavioral patterns and find ways to overcome other life obstacles.
Confess to that friend
- Practice building confidence. You can say encouraging words out loud, do activities you’re good at, or remind yourself of your accomplishments.
- Remind yourself that even if your friend turns you down, it’s not your fault. Pressing oil presses fat, who can force fate, it’s just that he can’t feel love. Usually in cases of being denied love, the reason is more on the other person’s side than on your own.
- Try saying something like, “My feelings for you have changed, and I like you more than just friendship. I want to try dating you. What do you think?”
- Respect your friend’s feelings. They may feel surprised, confused, angry, or a mixture of many other emotions. If your friend says they don’t want to be romantically involved with you, don’t try to force or argue with them. If they are confused and need time to think, give them space and say that you are available to talk more if needed.
- When giving your friend space, it’s also best to reduce the amount of time you spend interacting with them, including texting, calling, or chatting online.
- Try to erase that friend from your mind. You can push the image of your crush out of your mind by using your hobbies and work as a distraction, or spending time with another friend.
Joshua Pompey
Love consultant
Joshua Pompey is a relationship consultant with over 10 years of experience advising clients in the online dating world. Joshua has been running his relationship consulting firm since 2009 with a 99% success rate. His work has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired and Refinery29 and he is considered the best online relationship consultant in the world.
Love consultant
Experts agree: If you fall in love with your best friend and they don’t love you, then you need to do the hard work of putting the friendship on hold until your feelings for them fade away. Give yourself time to accept that your partner doesn’t love you.
Avoid that friend
- Avoid dating situations like going to a two-person movie or having dinner at a romantic restaurant.
- If you’re old enough to consume alcohol, avoid drinking with your friend. When drunk people are not good at self-control and can make bad decisions. [16] X Research Source
- This time period is subjective depending on the individual. Some people need a few weeks, others take months or years.
- You don’t have to move too far. Just moving to the other side of the city or to another city is enough to reduce the likelihood of interacting with that friend.
- Remember that moving to another place is a drastic change. Such decisions should be carefully considered and not necessary if the feelings are not too deep.
Advice
- Remind yourself that you will find someone who makes you happy. Invest in a single partner that will make you feel better than someone you secretly have a crush on and never achieve.
- Don’t be angry with yourself. There is nothing wrong with falling in love with your best friend, on the contrary, it is quite common. The only thing you need to worry about is how to handle those emotions.
Warning
- Don’t hate your friend. Remember it’s not their fault if you fall in love. This person is still your friend and they deserve to be treated with respect and kindness no matter what.
- Hurt people don’t hurt others. Don’t take advantage of other people to forget the person you secretly love. When dating someone, make sure you like them. Otherwise you will hurt another person.
This article was co-written by Joshua Pompey. Joshua Pompey is a relationship consultant with over 10 years of experience advising clients in the online dating world. Joshua has been running his relationship consulting firm since 2009 with a 99% success rate. His work has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired and Refinery29 and he is considered the best online relationship consultant in the world.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 2,687 times.
Most people easily balance friendship and love; However, many people unknowingly develop higher feelings for their close friends. If this happens, or if you are worried that it will happen, then you need to skillfully avoid the triggers of love development from the friendship.
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