How long should I wait to text my ex-girlfriend?

Texting your ex is one way that can help you let go and move on or give the two of you a chance to reunite – but how should you contact her? The key to texting your ex is to give yourself enough time (and her) to heal after the breakup. In this article, we’ll help you figure out when you’re ready to reconnect with your ex and make plans to text her! Read on to find out how long to wait before texting your ex!

Table of Contents

When should you text your ex-girlfriend?

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With a normal breakup, you should wait at least 30 days before texting your ex. As a rule of thumb, 30 days should be enough for both of you to calm down and be able to process emotions in a healthy way. Plus, when you set boundaries and give your ex some space, she’ll start to remember the good times when you were together.

Sometimes it’s also hard to avoid accidentally running into an ex-girlfriend, such as two classmates or working at the same place. In these cases, you should avoid long and emotional conversations.
If you see your ex during the non-contact phase, you don’t have to act cold or run away. Greet in a friendly manner, and remember that the conversation should be brief and light. ^{[1] X Research Source}

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After a tumultuous breakup, wait 6 weeks before texting. You and your ex may need more time to work through the emotions of a long relationship and a more difficult breakup. However, for most couples the no-contact period won’t be longer than 45 days, unless you and your ex agree to do so – otherwise, she may move on sooner than she would like. your.

Take this time to heal and love yourself. No matter what you did that led to the breakup, you don’t have to punish yourself. Instead, practice mindfulness and reflection to understand your emotions. ^{[2] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

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Delay texting until birthdays or holidays after the no-contact period. Find a special occasion or holiday at the earliest after a period of no contact to text your ex. Birthdays are a great excuse to pick up the phone and drop a “I miss you” text, but you can also do this on any holiday she likes.

This is only great when the breakup is going smoothly. One sentence “Happy Birthday!” fun seems a bit “out of tune” if the last interaction between the two was a big argument.

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Wait 4-6 weeks after breaking up to let your ex text first. If you’re worried or unsure if your ex-girlfriend wants to receive your texts, you can wait for her to send the text first. That way, you’ll be sure she’s ready to talk. Of course, this isn’t a perfect solution – if you know she’s shy, you should take the initiative to text her after the no-contact period has passed.

Even if you decide to give your ex a chance to text first, remember to keep track of how much time has passed. If it’s been more than a few months, muster up the courage to text her first. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

When should you not text your ex-girlfriend?

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You shouldn’t be texting her right after the breakup. Everyone is sad and confused after a breakup, but if you keep trying to talk to your girlfriend right after the breakup, things will only get worse. The amount of time you two need to process your feelings depends on the person involved, but most people need at least a few days of reflection before having a productive conversation with their ex.

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When your ex starts dating someone else, it might be time to let go. Sure, you’ll want to text your girlfriend when she hears she has a new boyfriend, but it’s not going to help either of you. Instead, you can use the fact that your ex has a new lover as motivation to let go and move on. Wounds will heal more easily once you accept that your relationship with your ex is over. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Exes may still be friends, but even friends things can get awkward if she starts having a new lover. Either you contact her before she starts dating, the other is wait until her new relationship is solid before texting.

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Try not to send text messages after 8pm, as this can send off a confusing signal. Your ex-girlfriend may think you’re just trying to get “sex” if you text late at night. The best time to text an ex-girlfriend is in the early evening – after work but before 8pm. If you’re texting later, make your intentions clear and start the conversation in a friendly tone to avoid misinterpreting that you’re “intentional”.

Send your ex a simple and gentle text “How are you today?” or “How are you these days?”
The context of the text can also show her that you don’t mean anything dark. You could explain that you just finished dinner or just got home from a night out and saw something that made you miss her.

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If you’ve just been through a toxic relationship, it’s probably best to cut off contact forever. Time often helps us forget all the bad aspects of the relationship and remember only the best moments. Don’t forget, though, that if the relationship isn’t healthy, you’re not obligated to reconnect with your ex. You have the right to forget it and look for a brighter and happier relationship in the future! ^{[5] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

For example, if your ex-girlfriend is an emotional controller or manipulator, it’s best to leave the relationship in the past.
If you decide you don’t want to reconnect or don’t need to be friends with your ex, block her number to avoid getting involved.

Signs that you’re ready to text your ex

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Both were relieved. The purpose of texting is to reconnect, not to insult. You and your ex-girlfriend will need to process their emotions before texting. If you can gauge your own feelings and find that you are no longer angry or resentful, maybe now is a good time to text her. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

It’s hard to know how other people feel through text messages, so you need to try to find clues in your ex.
If she texts back and seems willing to talk, move on. If she asks you not to text for a while, respect her wishes – your girlfriend may still be upset and need more time.

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You don’t feel lonely or hopeless. People often start to miss their ex and want them to miss them too, but the best way to get her to notice you is simply to continue having fun. Text her when you feel ready to draw healthy boundaries and when you’re confident enough to know that you want her in your life, not just to make her happy. If you need to get over your ex during this time, there’s a lot you can do!

Exercise or try other activities like hiking, swimming, or team sports.
Make time for friends and family. A good support system is a powerful healer when it comes to heartbreak!
Go away if you can – whether it’s just a weekend trip to the suburbs or an inexpensive road trip. A change of scenery is sometimes very helpful.

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You have a good reason to text her. Before reconnecting with your ex, you should take some time to think about why you want to text her so much. It’s important to make sure you’re not texting on a whim! Ask yourself a few key questions to prepare yourself for when it’s time to contact your ex:

How would you start the conversation?
What do you want to get when you text her?
Is there something your ex wants, or are you doing this for your own benefit?
Will this make your relationship worse?

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You are ready to apologize. If you did something wrong when you broke up or did something that caused your ex to end up with you, you probably owe her an apology. A proper apology includes: admitting that you did something wrong, acknowledging the other person’s feelings, and sharing how you would fix the problem. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

“I’m sorry that I didn’t open up to you when we were dating. I know you felt lonely, and now I regret not being more emotional. Ever since we broke up, I’ve talked to a psychologist about your problems and found a way to fix it.”

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You want to close the past. Sometimes texting an ex-girlfriend isn’t meant to get back together. You may regret that the relationship didn’t end well, and making things clear can be an important part of getting you to the next page. Send her a text when you feel you can be completely honest, share your feelings and listen to her.

The best way to close things is to call or meet in person. You can text to start, but save your thoughts for verbal conversation!

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You two have spent 30 days apart and want to get back together. The best time to reconnect with your ex-girlfriend is right after the period of no contact is over. You’ll know that you’re really ready to text her about getting back together once you’ve figured out what’s wrong in the relationship, and what you can do in the future to deal with those issues. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Remember that the best way to talk about getting back together is to meet in person. You can text your ex to invite your ex for coffee or go for a walk in the park to talk.

Steps

When should you text your ex-girlfriend?

When should you not text your ex-girlfriend?

Signs that you’re ready to text your ex

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