How long should I wait for a second date?

You just went on your first date and are wondering what to do next. You’re probably falling into a weird state of confusion between dates, but the good news is that you won’t be on your own! Everyone wants to know how long is the ideal distance between a first date and a second date, but there is no strict rule. You can read the suggestions below to see what works for you – and you’ll be confident and ready for a second date!

Table of Contents

How long should I wait after my first date to make a second appointment?

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Go on a second date within a few days to a week of the first. Don’t let the emotion of the first date fade – call or text your partner in a few days to schedule your next appointment. For example, if the last time the two of you went on a Tuesday night, you can schedule your next date next weekend. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If your first date is on a weekend, you can make an appointment for another midweek or next weekend.

When should the invitation be said?

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Act fast if the first date feels great – you don’t have to follow the 3-day rule. If the two of you are really compatible, call the other person as soon as possible! It’s important that you let the other person know that you like them, because they’re probably wondering by now how you feel about your first date. ^{[2] X Research Source}

There are no definite rules here – if you want to wait another day before calling or texting them, that’s fine. You can even wait a few days, but the longer you wait, the less enthusiastic you seem to be.
You can completely send a text message right after the first date if you feel that you and your partner are a match. Why do you have to hide your feelings?

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Wait a few days if you want more time to think. Wait a few days for the other person to know that you are still thinking. After the first date, this is completely acceptable. The second date will be an opportunity for the two sides to continue getting to know each other. You can wait a few days before contacting them or just wait for word from the other person. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If you’re going to wait a few days, you can pretend you think they’re busy or that you have so many projects to do that you forget the time. The small gap between the first date and the second date is not a big deal.

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Consider whether you want to date again if your first date has been a few weeks past. A period of silence that is too long can be interpreted as indifference, so consider whether you should wait. Maybe you find that the two sides are not really compatible and you have other options. If it’s been a week or two and you’re still interested, you can contact the other person, but they may not be interested in a second date if you wait too long to connect.

Sometimes people don’t call or text after the first date for a good reason – maybe they have a family emergency or have an accident. If you contact them, at least give them a chance to explain.
You may find that you no longer want to wait, and this is completely normal! If you don’t hear from the other person within 1-2 weeks, it’s probably a good idea to let it go.

How should I ask the other person on a second date?

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Text or call the other person with a specific plan. If you feel like seeing the other person again and have already asked them out, come up with a fun date idea or two to see what kind of dates they like. If you have a specific plan, you will have a much better chance of success than just calling them vaguely saying that one day you will ask them out. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, instead of saying, “It was fun last night. Let’s go out again someday,” say, “Last night was fun. How would you feel if we went to the movies this weekend?”
Although you can text them to ask them out, people will feel more enthusiastic about you if you call.

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Schedule an appointment according to both of your schedules. Many misunderstandings in communication happen from the early days of dating. Make it clear to the other person how much time you can spare for a second date so that he doesn’t have to wonder if you want to go on a date or not.

For example, if the last time you went out for dinner on a weekday, you might not be able to go on a date until next weekend.
Ask the other person about their schedule for the next few days or a week. You might say, “What do you usually do on weekends?” or “Are you free to have dinner with me this week?”

What can happen if I wait too long?

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You can lose the vibe of the first date. A great first date leaves you with excitement, curiosity, and interest in your partner, and you want to bring those feelings into your second date, so don’t wait too long to ask someone out. Let’s go out, lest everything fade away. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Even if the initial feelings subside, it’s not a disaster – it just means you’ll have to reconnect with your partner on the second date. Schedule a meeting with them to rekindle the interest.

Is a second date really that important?

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A second date is a better opportunity to get to know each other. It also gives you a chance to make amends if you feel like the first date hasn’t been as great as it should have been. Maybe you’re both too nervous or off to a bad start. A second date can be a fresh start, and you can talk more freely because both of you have experienced the intense thrill of the first date. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Steps

How long should I wait after my first date to make a second appointment?

When should the invitation be said?

How should I ask the other person on a second date?

What can happen if I wait too long?

Is a second date really that important?

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