Correct understanding of dating older men

If you have been on the battlefield for a while, you must be tired of immature people of your age. Dating an older man is probably the next logical step, but it’s important to know the pros and cons of pursuing an age gap relationship. Read on for the great things and things to keep in mind when dating older men to make the right decision for you and your life.

Table of Contents

Great: They’re always the more mature.

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Guys your age don’t usually live. If the young man you’re dating keeps making you wonder why they hang out and party so much, older men may be a better match for you. If people often call you “old soul,” then you seem to have a lot in common with a slightly older person. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Remember that this is only often true, but not always. Sometimes older people can also lack maturity.

Note: They can be quite possessive.

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Older adults may worry about infidelity. Especially when you often go to bars with young people of the same age. If he is jealous, that possessive nature could be a problem in the relationship. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Jealousy behavior can appear at any age. If your partner controls your movements, who you hang out with, and when you go out, it’s time to end the relationship.

Great: They are usually financially stable.

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He had time to plow and save. While boys of the same age are still working for minimum wage or still in school, older men already have savings accounts. Often they can provide you better than young men. ^{[3] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

This is also not always true. Older men can also carry debt and not everyone who is old is rich.

Note: They may not go out often.

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Older men have passed their youthful vigor. If you want to hang out all night and all morning, he probably won’t be able to join. It can be a point of conflict if he keeps asking for dates or just wants to stay home and watch TV. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

You guys might want to date in different places. If you like to go to discos and he likes quiet evenings with flickering candles, then that will be a problem.

Great: They have tatami experience.

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They are many years ahead of you in love. Usually, older men know what they want in bed (and likely understand yours, too). While young men are still in the process of learning, older men have conquered it all and know what works and what doesn’t. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

On the other hand, he may also not be open to trying new things with you. Older men tend to stick with their likes and dislikes.

Note: He can be busy with many things.

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If he is ever married, there will be an ex in the picture (and even children). You may meet his ex-wife at family events or when they drop off children. He may also have to pay monthly support or share custody, if applicable. It’s also something to consider when dating an older person. ^{[6] X Research Source}

Your ex doesn’t have to be mean to you, even if the breakup didn’t go well. However, this is still a possibility.

Great: They are willing to commit.

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Older men know what they want. You won’t have to deal with “what we are” conversations – older people will tell you if they’re serious or not. If that’s what you need in a relationship, then dating an older person is a perfect fit. ^{[7] X Trusted Source Pew Research Center Go to Source}

On the other hand, he may push you to a stage where you’re not ready (like getting married). If you’re not ready to commit, this may not be the type of love for you.

Note: You may face criticism.

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Your friends and family will probably talk in and out. If the two of you have progressed to the family debut stage, be prepared to speak up about the age gap. People will be wary of your age gap with good intentions.

You can reassure people by talking about your deep connection and showing them how warm and respectful your relationship is.

Great: He will get along with your parents.

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If he’s close to their age, there’s a lot in common to talk about. When you first introduce the two of you, it can be a little awkward, but once you’ve talked for a while, you’ll get along really well. If the two of you have progressed to the family debut stage, you should tell your parents in advance that he is a little older. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Note: The two of you may have many differences.

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The age gap can lead to differences in preferences. Maybe he likes to watch movies from the 70s, and you like reality TV shows. Or you like to go out to explore nature, he wants to hang around the house. Relationships are often built on a mutual liking, but the important thing is that both of you can do something together. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Of course, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing – it’s an opportunity for both of you to teach each other what they know.
If the two share the same values, it is more important than whether their understanding of popular culture matches. So don’t let that hold you back if you really care about each other.

Great: He could have had a steady job.

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He wouldn’t be the type to jump jobs. If he’s past 20, he’ll know what he wants to do and stick with it. Unless he’s having a midlife crisis, his career might be a bit stuck. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Of course, there are still some older people who find it difficult to settle into a job or stick with a career. However, this is quite rare.

Note: The two of you may have different goals.

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Maybe your life is just getting started and he’s ready to retire. If you want to travel the world or develop a career, but he wants to move to the suburbs, in the woods, for example, the relationship will start to conflict. It’s important for both of you to talk about your long-term goals to make sure you’re on the same page. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Similarly, he may be ready to settle down and start a family and you still want to party.

Advice

If you’re under 18, it’s illegal to date an older man. Wait until you reach adulthood to date an older person.

Steps