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Introduction:
Forgetting someone you have developed strong feelings for can be an incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing experience. Whether it was a romantic interest that didn’t work out, a friendship that turned sour, or a one-sided infatuation, the process of moving on from someone you like can feel almost impossible at times. However, it is crucial to remember that time heals all wounds, and with the right mindset and strategies, you can gradually let go of your attachment and find happiness once again. In this guide, we will explore various effective methods to help you forget someone you like, allowing you to focus on self-healing, personal growth, and ultimately moving forward towards a brighter future.
This article was co-written by Erika Kaplan. Erika Kaplan is a relationship consultant and matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking agency in nine US cities. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find their other half through dating and love counseling. Erika graduated from Penn State with a bachelor’s degree in public relations. She worked for Rpling Stone, Us Weekly and Men’s Journal before quitting publishing to pursue her passion for human connection. Erika has appeared in magazines and television channels such as Lifetime, Philadelphia Inquirer, CBS, Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company and Refinery29.
This article has been viewed 194,320 times.
When you have a crush on someone, you’re always hopeful about the future and it’s heartbreaking when you realize that affection won’t be reciprocated. Maybe the person you like is dating someone else, or you simply know that you two can’t be together. Letting go and moving on is a process, but you can do it if you’re really determined to let go of the person you like and move on.
Steps
Accept Your Feelings
- Get help from a friend or family member. Most people can identify with love to some degree, and they can tell you about their own experiences to get over someone they like. Even if they haven’t experienced the problem, they can still give you certain objective advice.
- Carefully consider similar events. When you start searching, you will find that there are countless examples of other people in the same situation as you. Books, movies, music or even news stories often focus on a few people struggling with emotional issues. Pay more attention to the cases where the protagonist can overcome that and keep in mind what you can learn.
- Consider writing down what you feel. Taking a moment to vent about turbulent emotions can help you feel like you’re leaving them behind. Make a list of the reasons you developed feelings for the person and why the feelings won’t work out. You can write in your diary or type it on your computer and set a password. Or you can also write on paper and then burn them.
- Put your feelings into words. You don’t have to tell someone how you feel, but getting your problem out loud – even when you’re alone in the room – can help make it more real and relatable. . As simple as you can say “I like Steve, and I hate that sentiment”.
- Don’t be too demanding or intimidate the person, try to avoid mentioning other aspects of your feelings, because that has nothing to do with what you really want to know. Simply tell them how much you care about them and that you just want to know if they feel the same way. Make it clear that you still want to be friends with them (although you will need some time apart to get over your feelings), and that you want them to be honest.
- For many reasons, it might be better to write a letter to someone you like. It makes it easier to explain how you’re feeling without interruption, and it also makes the person feel less pressured. Send your crush a letter explaining your feelings, and ask them to read it alone. Don’t contact them within a day, give them time to think about what you said. Try talking to them the next day when it’s just the two of you. If they avoid you, understand that they’re probably a little scared and confused, give them time, and then try again later.
- Make no mistake that this is a failure. The fact that you can’t be with someone you like has nothing to do with your inherent worth. Relationships don’t work out for a variety of reasons, most of which are problems that can’t be changed or improved. There are a few things that are beyond your control.
- Accept things about yourself that prevent them from having feelings for you. Heartbreak often begins with denial, trying to skip that step. Accept that perhaps the two of you are not compatible. Be more open to working on your flaws if you want more opportunities next time, but make sure you don’t confuse flaws with differences. Poor personal hygiene is a flaw, and something you can fix. But liking different genres of music or being more introverted don’t, and you shouldn’t try to force yourself to change those things. It may seem like you would do anything to be with them, but deep down, what you want more than anything is that they love you just as much as you do for them. Even changing for their sake will probably help them fall in love with your new self, but such relationships will often end quickly after the initial novelty wears off.
- Avoid being shamelessly stubborn. Maybe it’s completely against your nature to accept that you can’t do something, and in most cases persistence is something to be admired. However, there are times when persistence turns into despair and stupidity. Going after someone you know can’t be one of them. Let’s let go.
Self Create Distance
- If you have a crush on your best friend: Show less. If you want to maintain a friendship, work towards spending as little time as possible with that person without hurting him or her. Or if you believe your friend can understand, explain your problem and make it clear that you just need some space.
- If you have a crush on a mutual friend: If it’s a friend of a friend, try to avoid group gatherings. If necessary, explain the reason to your friend so he or she won’t mind it.
- If you have a crush on someone at school: Take this opportunity to study harder and make yourself forget who you like. Every time you want to think about him or her, open a book or flash card to review your lesson instead. Take another route to class or sit elsewhere at lunchtime if needed.
- If you like a colleague: Be more focused on your work. For now, avoid group lunches, midday talks, or events like happy hour.
- If you have a crush on someone you can’t avoid: Mentally distance yourself instead. Just because you’re in the same room as someone doesn’t mean you have to think about them. Think about whatever task you’re on and daydream about something amazing you’ll do one day – without the person you like.
- Find someone with similar interests. Do you like puzzles? Drop by a few bars near your house and ask about the upcoming trivia night. Do you like writing? Search online or inquire at nearby universities to find a new peer group. Do you play sports? Search the internet for local leagues or find information at the branch of local federations such as WAKA (Adult Kickball Association). There are countless options available to you!
- Participate in community activities. Volunteer at a local shelter, or contact an organization that is fighting for an issue you care about, like the humane treatment of animals or cleaning up the environment. Join some community events and get to know volunteers like you.
- Take advantage of a school or church activity group. If you are attending a school or church that organizes extracurricular activities, join! An event planner (like a prom or a church ball), a choir, a volunteer group, or a sports federation may all be suitable options for you.
- Give yourself a makeover (even if you’re a man!): Is your wardrobe a bit boring? Did you wear that hairstyle for too long? Buy some new clothes to boost your confidence, or research a new hairstyle or hair color. If you’re not sure how to determine your options, ask for help from a friend or family member whose fashion sense is particularly stylish and trendy.
- Orderly. If it’s been a while since you last cleaned out your closet/car/garage/warehouse, get to work! Organizing your old stuff can give you time to think, and you’ll probably feel comfortable and satisfied when it’s done.
- Do exercise. Exercise clears the mind – when you focus on doing your body, you won’t be able to worry about anything other than breathing and moving. Running, swimming, biking, or another activity can both improve your health and clear your mind.
- Practice active monologue. It sounds silly, but it really works. Look at yourself in the mirror a few times a day and say something you want to hear. For example, “You will find someone better” or “No one is worthy enough to make you so sad”. Repeat that until you believe it.
Moving Forward with Good Things
- Realize that you are not seeing the person realistically. The passionate or heartwarming feeling you feel when you’re with someone you like can make you lose your common sense and idealize your crush. [1] X Research Sources . Repeat over and over to yourself that no matter how you feel, no one is perfect, not even the person you like, and realize that you are intentionally ignoring his or her flaws. .
- Treat as for narcotics. You wouldn’t direct an alcoholic to a bar, so don’t put yourself in situations that will force you to notice someone you like. Avoid intimate situations and keep in touch, whether it’s texting, chatting, and not meeting in person.
- Do not transfer your feelings to a new object. Finding someone else to attribute your feelings to is also a form of relapse – you may not have a crush on the same person, but you still have the same feelings. Making someone a substitute is not fair to them, because you don’t see them for who they really are and it is not fair to you because you allow yourself to step in the wrong direction. dump truck.
- Don’t make someone else responsible for your happiness. Sure, maybe the person you like isn’t reciprocating your feelings the way you’d like. Maybe he or she even makes things worse by teasing or flirting endlessly, knowing full well how you feel. But no matter what happens. The only person responsible for making you happy is yourself . It’s your responsibility to help yourself get through bad situations and move forward, so don’t think the person you like is the cause of your suffering.
- Try to wish him or her the best. If you really care about someone, you’ll want to see that person find happiness – even if that happiness isn’t yours. Resist the urge to get angry or start comparing if your crush starts dating someone else. Try to cultivate a sense of joy when the person you like is happy.
- Think hard about the person you like and find as many bad traits as you can. Write them down on a piece of paper and read them over and over. When you meet that person, don’t look at the good side. Remember what you wrote and don’t lose focus.
Advice
- Remember that if the person you like doesn’t like you it’s his/her loss and there is still someone out there waiting for you who truly deserves your affection and loves you.
- Remember that a crush is only a short-term affair. It’s not like you’re getting married. In the future, you will find someone better and more suitable for you; someone who cares about you and gives you more love. So wait for someone better to come to you.
- Don’t blame yourself for things not going as planned. If they don’t see you that way, it’s not your fault, it’s the way they feel. Don’t make yourself feel worthless just because of the way they think of you.
- Don’t tell them you love them if you know for sure they just want to be friends. This can destroy your friendship and be irreparable.
- Give other guys a chance to date you. He’s not the only one in the world. But most importantly – live your own life, don’t let him take away your happiness.
- Avoid seeing the person often and keep your distance so you won’t go back to the starting line.
- Next step. Don’t let yourself get stuck in the past. Meeting other people may be helpful.
- Don’t talk about that person even with your friends. If you say how you like that person, you will feel like that person even more.
- Tell yourself all the things you DON’T like about him/her
- Forget it and move on.
Warning
- Don’t punish yourself for trying to ease the pain. You don’t want to start overeating or hurting yourself just because the person you like doesn’t like you.
- Never call someone you like while drunk. You will only make the person feel uncomfortable and embarrass yourself.
This article was co-written by Erika Kaplan. Erika Kaplan is a relationship consultant and matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking agency in nine US cities. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find their other half through dating and love counseling. Erika graduated from Penn State with a bachelor’s degree in public relations. She worked for Rpling Stone, Us Weekly and Men’s Journal before quitting publishing to pursue her passion for human connection. Erika has appeared in magazines and television channels such as Lifetime, Philadelphia Inquirer, CBS, Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company and Refinery29.
This article has been viewed 194,320 times.
When you have a crush on someone, you’re always hopeful about the future and it’s heartbreaking when you realize that affection won’t be reciprocated. Maybe the person you like is dating someone else, or you simply know that you two can’t be together. Letting go and moving on is a process, but you can do it if you’re really determined to let go of the person you like and move on.
In conclusion, forgetting someone you like is a challenging and often painful process, but it is possible with time, effort, and self-care. Recognizing your emotions and allowing yourself to grieve the loss is essential. Creating distance and limiting contact with the person can aid in the healing process. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and focusing on personal growth can help redirect your attention and energy. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can also provide invaluable assistance during this journey. While the timeline for moving on varies for each individual, it is crucial to be patient and kind to yourself throughout this process. Remember that allowing yourself to heal and make space for new possibilities is a significant step towards finding happiness and moving forward in life.
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