Does Avocado Actually Taste Like Clean Dick? An Investigation Into Twitter’s Weirdest Theory

Friends, foes and former lovers, how have you been. It is time to remind you all that avocado tastes like a clean dick. It’s true, it’s a fact, it’s science. But where on Earth did this fabulous rumour come from?

I’m sorry to say but if you’ve never put a clean penis in your mouth, you’ll have no idea what I’m about to talk about. I’m talking straight out of the shower penis. Yes, unclean penis does have its own taste, but for the love of all that is good and holy I will not be talking about that.

Avocado? Tastes just like a clean dick. One hundred percent. It’s something in the texture too. Can’t quite put my finger on it. It’s like every dick in the world reverts to one flavour after being cleaned, and that flavour is avocado.

This idea entered the online zeitgeist in 2019, when a queer individual (naturally), tweeted out their thoughts about avocado tasting like clean dick.

They even included “pass it on” at the end and well, it passed on alright.

avocado tastes like clean dick pass it on

— j (@negroimpala) May 20, 2019

Then came the famous follow-up tweet that cemented the meme format which we are still witnessing today.

Theydies and gentlethems, please witness the “one time I read a tweet saying” format, and weep.

One time I read a tweet saying “avocado tastes like clean dick” and I haven’t known peace since

— MARA (@marabeencroft) August 26, 2019

From here forth you will always see people tweeting or making TikToks about the fact that “someone once said” or “I once saw a tweet.”

Well, that someone was Jordan from the first tweet here, and he is forever being referenced, whether people have seen his tweet or not.

Someone said avocado tastes like clean dick and I can’t stop thinking about it ???????????? it’s true ????????

— Catalina (@whoiscatalina) July 15, 2021

Now we’ve come to 2021, the year of Miss Rona 2: Electric Boogaloo, and people are still talking about this damn 2019 tweet.

Folks, we get it, avocado tastes like clean schlong. Enough already.

Avocado’s really be tasting like clean dick

— Val (@lucidbabex) July 10, 2021
Do what u want with that information ????????

Naturally, the idea that avocado tastes like pristine peen has just become a ‘thing’ on TikTok, with some users saying they first saw it there instead of on Twitter.

The earliest TikTok I could find referencing the idea of washed eggplant having a particular taste was from this Aussie TikToker by the name of @opheliaswan in 2020.

@opheliaswan

the tweet that says avocado tastes like clean p*n*s

♬ original sound – ophelia

Of course, the idea got into the hands of Americans and bam, you have a viral TikTok video.

This one right here by user @grace.malin has over 22 million views. However, this TikTok references “that tweet” in its description, which is a very ‘if you know you know’ shoutout to the chaos of 2019.

@gracie.malin

i have not known peace since reading that tweet #avocado

♬ original sound – Funny Tiktoks

Thanks to this TikTok going hyper viral, many others are discovering that the OG tweet even exists in the first place, and are posting memes about hesitating to consume avocado.

I dunno about you but when I heard avo tastes like clean dick, I started craving avo.

@cladellain

#stitch with @gracie.malin Waiting for my husband to finish his avocado so I can tell him. #ohlord #avocado #tweet

♬ original sound – Cladellain David-Green

And that friends, concludes the mystery of where this whole internet idea came from, and why it’s becoming a thing again.

For science, I am more than willing to put this idea to the test. After lockdown though… definitely after lockdown.

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