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son is fuming bc his sister is staying home from school AGAIN. he just opened her door and said “and here’s the liar in her natural habitat”
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[hugging mom at sister’s funeral] “And you said I’d never be your favorite”
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DR.: you’re going to feel a little bit of pressure. Ready? ME: yes DR.: your sister is younger but already has a career path & owns her home
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My sister had a baby today. I think I’ve used that as an excuse to get out of more stuff this week than she has.
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SISTER: i’m engaged! ME: awwwwwwwwewwww SISTER: did you sneak an ‘ew’ in there ME: …no
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Dad, how comes my sister is called Teresa ? “Because your mum loves Easter and it’s an anagram of Easter” “Thanks Dad” “No problem ALAN “
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my baby sister says “I love you ten” instead of “I love you too” because 10 is bigger than 2 I cba 😂😂😂😂
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Me: Do you want to meet your sisters at the bus stop? 5: *doesn’t look up* I already know them.
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My 1-year-old found a jar of Play-Doh. I figured she couldn’t do any harm if she couldn’t open it. She threw it at her sister’s head.
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When bill gates’ son comes to marry your sister
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Me: Don’t spit at your sister! 4: I’m a bunny. Me: Bunnies don’t spit. 4: I’m an acid-spitting bunny.
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