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This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
Almost everyone has experienced this situation: a guy walks into a room, and your heart suddenly skips a beat. It’s normal to feel nervous or a little nervous around a guy – but why exactly? We’ve answered these anxiety questions to help you understand why you feel nervous around a guy, whether with a guy you’re dating or not.
Steps
You secretly love him.
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Yes, that’s right: When we’re secretly in love with someone, we feel the thrill of being around them. If your heart is pounding when this guy walks into the room, or you feel red in your cheeks when he compliments you, then you have a crush on him! When you are attracted to someone, your body changes when you see them: Your heart beats faster, your breathing becomes faster, and your skin turns pink. [1] X Trusted Source Cleveland Clinic Go to Source These changes may make you feel nervous or a little nervous, and this is normal (it can be exciting and exciting too). [2] X Research Source
- If you start to feel jittery when the guy is around you, take a few deep breaths to dispel your anxiety. This will help slow your breathing and bring your heart rate back to normal. [3] X Harvard Medical Schop Trusted Source Go to Source
You worry he refuses.
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No one likes rejection, and the prospect can be nerve-wracking. If you like this guy and want to ask him out, you’re probably a little nervous or stressed. Tell yourself that even getting rejected isn’t a disaster, and even if he says no, you can still be proud of having the courage to step forward! [4] X Research Sources
- Your chances of success completely outweigh the risk of rejection. And even if he doesn’t care, he’d probably be flattered to have a girl ask him out!
You want to speak first but don’t know how.
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It can be difficult for you to know how and when to approach someone you like. Plus, there’s still the stereotype that only guys should ask girls out – but if that’s what you’re looking for, you’ll probably be disappointed. Remember that the guy is probably just as timid and nervous as you are, so it’s probably best to take the initiative to speak up first.
- If you’re really not sure if he likes you, try checking him out first. Ask him questions like, “Are you dating anyone?” or “Do you notice anyone?”
You think you have too little dating experience.
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If you haven’t been in a relationship yet, this thought may run through your head. Maybe he’s dated a few people in the past, or maybe you’re just worried about how to behave with a so-called boyfriend. Don’t forget that everyone has their first time, even the guy you have a crush on has been like that. If he’s really a good guy, he won’t care if you’ve had it or not, and you two can still have a happy relationship. [5] X Research Sources
- Furthermore, it is possible that you are just making assumptions! Even if he’s been in a relationship, it’s unlikely he knows exactly what to do in a relationship.
You feel like you don’t deserve him.
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A lack of confidence can trick you into thinking you’re not good enough. This is a completely normal feeling, especially if you’ve never dated before. Remember that we often tell ourselves that we are not good enough, but that is almost never the case! The more you work to build your confidence and self-esteem, the less nervous you’ll be around that guy. [6] X Research Sources
- A great way to boost your confidence is to list all the things that you like about yourself (it sounds silly, but it really works!). You can add statements like “I am a good friend,” “I am very kind to others,” or “I have a sense of humour.”
You don’t know what to say.
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You may feel like your tongue is stuck when you talk to a guy. Don’t worry, this is normal – you probably don’t know him well yet. A good way to deal with this is to have a few topics ready to talk about. It sounds silly, but it can get you through those awkward moments of silence in a conversation! Some good topics include: [7] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- “How was your work/study?”
- “How is your family?”
- “What are you going to do this weekend?”
You start a new relationship.
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It sounds strange, but new relationships can really make us nervous! Even if you’ve confessed your feelings and dated the guy, calling him your boyfriend won’t calm you down. It’s natural to feel nervous about entering a new relationship, especially if you’ve never dated before. As you both get to know each other better, you’ll feel more comfortable around him and you won’t be as nervous anymore. [8] X Research Sources
- It’s actually a good thing to feel the thrill of being with that person! That means you care what they think and are eager to hang out with them.
- If you want to regain your composure quickly, try telling him you’re feeling nervous. Chances are he feels the same way as you do, and the two of you might laugh together before continuing to hang out.
You feel like pushing him away.
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Sometimes we feel like if we open up people won’t like us anymore. You may feel nervous around your partner because you’re afraid they won’t like the real you. This feeling is normal and very rarely true – something that you think is odd can be completely normal to another person. [9] X Research Source
- No one is without flaws, even those who appear to be perfect on the surface. As the two of you get to know each other better, you won’t be afraid to open up about yourself anymore.
You are afraid of breaking up.
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Even in a brand new relationship, this can make you feel anxious. It’s okay to think about the future of the relationship, but if you’re constantly afraid of breaking up, it can be overwhelming and stressful. Enjoy every moment and remember that you are happy now instead of worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. [10] X Research Source
- This feeling is often there if you have been once (or several times) broken. Remember that every relationship is different, and there’s no reason for you to worry this time will also end badly.
You’re afraid you like (or love) him too much.
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Love is sometimes scary, even when it’s the first time. If you’re dating and you’re starting to feel deep and intense emotions, you may be feeling anxious. Love is a miracle, and although it can be scary at times, you should remember that oftentimes it will bring more joy and happiness than pain. [11] X Research Source
- If you start to panic, slow down. You don’t have to rush, and go at your own pace in the relationship.
You worry about the future.
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You may be wondering if you and him are getting married. You may also be thinking about having kids or moving in with him, even if those things are still a long way off. It’s natural to feel anxious about major life changes, and big relationship milestones are part of it. It is important to focus on the present here, right now instead of imagining what might happen in the future. [12] X Research Source
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This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
Almost everyone has experienced this situation: a guy walks into a room, and your heart suddenly skips a beat. It’s normal to feel nervous or a little nervous around a guy – but why exactly? We’ve answered these anxiety questions to help you understand why you feel nervous around a guy, whether with a guy you’re dating or not.
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