How to Express Emotional Pain in a Healthy Way

On the road of life, we cannot avoid moments of emotional stress and discomfort. Loved ones will be gone forever, friends and family will let us down, and life’s challenges will make us angry and frustrated. When those painful emotions arise, we need to know how to deal with them to maintain mental health and emotional balance. The following steps will be useful to those who want to express their feelings in a more effective way.

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Find a consultant. Given the negativity surrounding mental health treatment, you may be hesitant to seek counseling services. Don’t be like that. Feelings of sadness and anger are common and unavoidable. However, when these feelings have a negative impact on your daily life, you may need a therapist to help you deal with your thought process to understand why you have these feelings.

Ask friends or family to give you advice about a counselor. While you may be hesitant to disclose to others that you are seeking therapy, you can still find valuable help. You can discuss counseling with someone whose opinion you value.
Find a specialist in your area. Depending on where you live, there may be many options for finding a consultant, and there may be very few options. Either way, you should look in the directory of local consultants ^{[1] X Research Sources} . Instead of looking for a counselor based on a personal recommendation, ask your doctor for a referral.

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Be open. When you experience emotional stress, you sometimes lose the ability to see clearly what triggered those feelings. In the meantime, it would be helpful to have a well-trained professional help you analyze the situation.

Be aware of feelings of resistance while talking to a counselor. There are sure to be times when you feel misunderstood or as if the therapist doesn’t understand why you feel so strongly about something. Remember that your doctor can assess the situation more clearly than you.

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Open up to someone willing to help you. Don’t worry about trying to make the consultant think you’re normal and in control. They can only help you by understanding how you process your emotions and think about them. A consultant is someone with whom you feel comfortable saying the ugliest or most embarrassing things that you are hesitant to tell anyone.

Make a question. If at any point you feel confused about why you feel this way or how you should react in certain situations, ask your therapist for advice. They will help you keep track of your thoughts and feelings, and asking questions will help both of you realize what is important in therapy.

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Chat with a friend or family member. In some cases, such as feeling sad about the loss of a loved one, perhaps some friends and loved ones will feel the same way.

Be courageous. While it may be a little scary to show your feelings to those you love, it can be quite helpful for both you and them to come to terms with the situation. After doing so, you will no longer feel alone. However, be careful in cases where you have an outburst of anger at someone, it is likely that they will also react with anger.
If that happens, don’t let the emotions escalate in a serious direction. Just take a deep breath and walk away until you can continue the conversation calmly. Getting into a screaming argument doesn’t make anyone feel any better.
Speak honestly and tactfully. Especially if you are faced with a friend or loved one who upsets you, try to approach them with calm and humility. Say something like, “I was wondering if we could talk. I have something to say, and I hope I can be honest with you.”

Control emotions through physical activity

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Exercise to cope with depression. While most people believe that people need to vent their anger to alleviate its negative consequences, research shows that this approach backfires and can increase anger. ^{[2] X Research Source} However, exercise is very effective in alleviating symptoms of depression and anxiety. ^{[3] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

The benefits of exercise for anger management are still debated. Some studies suggest that hard exercise actually increases physiological arousal, which can make feelings of anger worse. ^{[4] X Sources of Research Bushman, BJ (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychpogy Bulletin, 28, 724–731} However, slow exercises like yoga and tai chi can help you relax and calm down. ^{[5] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}
Research also shows that over several weeks, exercise can increase feelings of happiness and calm, especially in people with depression. ^{[6] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to the source} Exercise may not help you right away, but it’s great for your heart and also helps with emotional health in the long run.
Join the community. If you enjoy playing team sports, it can be helpful to join a team of basketball, softball (a game similar to baseball, played on a smaller field with a larger softball) or soccer. You’ll need to exercise regularly, you’ll have a toned body, and you’ll make a few friends who may become part of a social support network.
Try relaxing by going for a walk when you feel the pressure. Allow yourself to calm down. Freedom to immerse yourself in the natural beauty around you, focusing your attention on the small yet beautiful things that you always miss. Breathe deeply and steadily. This will help you exercise and relax.

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Develop relaxation skills. Deep breathing exercises, listening to soothing music, and continuous muscle relaxation have all been shown to be effective in slowing heart rate and reducing anxiety. Every skill takes practice, but those who learn it often find it highly effective. ^{[7] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

Learn to breathe. Practice deep breathing from the diaphragm. Breathing lightly from the chest will not help. Instead, imagine the breath coming from within you. ^{[8] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to the source} If you can master this skill, you will find it much easier to relax.

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Learn how to meditate. The process is quite simple. Just sit upright in a chair with your feet flat on the floor and close your eyes. Think of a calming saying, like “I feel good in my soul” or “just keep calm” and say it and think about it over and over, in sync with your breath. negative thoughts will disappear and you will feel more comfortable ^{[9] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to source}^{[10] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to source} (Note: if you are For spiritual or religious people, prayer can be a useful substitute for meditation.) ^{[11] X Research Source}

Don’t give up too soon. Meditation can be difficult, especially at first, because it takes patience to see results. At first, you may feel a little nervous or frustrated, because you want to get results faster. Make good use of your time, and you will reap results.

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Allow yourself to cry. Crying is seen as a sign of weakness in some cultures, especially for men. However, allowing yourself to cry can provide an effective outlet for emotional stress. ^{[12] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source} Many people end up feeling better after crying, especially when they are in a safe environment with loved ones. ^{[13] X Trusted Source Science Direct Go to Source}

Express emotions through creativity

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Keep a diary with you. In this case, you are actually talking to yourself, if not sharing the log with anyone else. Even so, journaling will help you see the evolution of your emotional state over time, as well as your ability to make day-to-day connections between events and feelings. ^{[14] X Research Source}

Keep a journal instead of acting out your feelings. If you feel like punching a wall, write down what makes you really angry. Write down why you want to punch the wall, what that feeling is, where it will go. Journaling has been shown to help people manage anxiety and depression, while providing an opportunity to boldly write it down without fear of anyone reacting negatively. ^{[15] X Trusted Source University of Rochester Medical Center Go to Source}
Bring your diary to counseling sessions. If you use a diary regularly, it will give you a day-to-day experience of what you are feeling and experiencing. This information can be very helpful in explaining to the therapist exactly how and why you feel the way you do.

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Try to express yourself through art. Many studies show that artistic expression is a useful and healthy way to express emotions. For example, art therapy can help trauma survivors deal with their feelings. This method works because it allows you to not have to say it, but to simply access your feelings directly. ^{[16] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

Try painting. You are free to create the picture to express whatever you are feeling right now. ^{[17] X Research Source}
Try composing music. You can create a piece of music, or simply play your favorite piece of music with an instrument to help you express your emotions.
Try taking pictures. Photography can be very useful because it doesn’t require any special skills to get started — all you need is a camera. Try taking lots of pictures to express how you feel.
Try dancing. Dancing connects bodily movements with inner emotions, allowing you to express what you feel through the way you move. You can try professional dance, or just move your body in ways that express yourself.

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Consider writing about your pain. Narrative therapy views pain and trauma as a way to tell you the story of what’s going on in life. To help you process your pain, this encourages you to explore the stories you tell and think about them from different angles ^{[18] X Research Source} . Writing a story, poetry, or other creative work helps you express your feelings and perhaps helps to express pain in a different way, and gives you a new perspective on it.

Love yourself when you write about your pain. Research proves that writing about pain can make you feel worse, if you don’t approach it with self-love. ^{[19] X Research Source} Don’t force yourself against your feelings or judge yourself too harshly.

Learn to track emotions

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Allow yourself to feel the emotion within you. Many of us bury our emotions when they become too stressed or too embarrassed, thereby also denying their existence. Doing so can take longer to heal, simply because we always fail to deal with the root cause of our emotions.

Remember, stressful emotions that look threatening are only temporary. There’s no shame in feeling sad or angry in certain situations, and denying your feelings means you’re pushing them deeper inside. where they can be more devastating – both psychologically and physically. Expressing pain is the first step to ending it. ^{[20] X Research Source}

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Identify emotions. Instead of just feeling emotions, force yourself to put them into words. Even just doing this in a journal or in your head helps you identify exactly what you’re feeling and understand it better. Identifying emotional stress can slow or reduce emotional responses. ^{[21] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

Follow the inner dialogue. People who experience intense emotions often think of statements in either black or white, like “Things are terrible” or “This is hopeless”. Instead, try to reframe your thoughts to something less serious, like “This is really frustrating, but I’ll get over it” or “I have a right to be upset, but angry. It doesn’t help either.”
Try to avoid words like “always” and “never”. This kind of polarizing thinking only increases the intensity of the negative emotion and makes it reasonable for you to feel that way. ^{[22] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}

Advice

If you are thinking about suicide, get help right away. There are many resources to help you find other ways to cope with emotional pain. Call emergency services at 1900599930 to contact the Psychological Crisis Center (PCP).
Beware of the risk of depression. While feeling sad is normal, long-lasting and repetitive feelings of frustration and distress are no longer common. If you’ve lost weight, lost your appetite, and lost interest in activities you used to enjoy, you may be suffering from depression. In this case, a doctor or therapist should be contacted for an evaluation.
Listen to sad music. Strangely enough, many researchers suggest that listening to sad music helps us process negative emotions and stimulates the healing process. So don’t hesitate to enjoy Adele’s album to help you cope with your pain. ^{[24] X Research Source}

Warning

Do not abuse drugs. Sometimes we paralyze ourselves with drugs that cause us to create distance between ourselves and our emotions. Doing so not only makes it harder for us to actively cope with those emotions, but it also increases the negative habit of becoming dependent on drugs. Be careful not to use drugs and alcohol to overcome pain.

Steps