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This article was co-written by Sylvia Rath. Sylvia Rath is parenting expert and director of Little Village Kindergarten in Los Angeles, California. With over 30 years of experience, Sylvia specializes in educating parents in respectful communication skills and positive discipline in their child’s kindergarten. Sylvia holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology and early childhood education from the University of Antioch. Before working at Little Village Kindergarten, she worked as a kindergarten teacher for eight years.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,405 times.
Children are famous for asking interesting and sometimes awkward questions. However, if children ask how they were born, you should try to give them an honest answer so that they understand. This helps prepare children to grow up and experience the world. When asked like that, be sure to properly assess the situation and refine your answer to be age appropriate.
Steps
Situation Assessment
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Stay calm and relaxed when your child asks about the topic. Children of all ages may wonder about their birth, it’s normal. You should always be prepared for this situation, but if you’re not ready, stay calm and don’t rush to give an answer. Take a deep breath and talk to your child as you normally would about other topics. [1] X Research Source
- Your first reaction might be to laugh or move on. However, if you ignore the child’s question, they will be even more curious about the topic. It is best to answer the question for the child.
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Shift responsibility to the child’s parents if it’s someone else’s child asking you questions. If you are a babysitter, the children you care for may ask you about the baby or gender. Stay calm and use your judgment to approach the situation. If it’s a question about the human body, answer it scientifically. If it’s a question you can’t or don’t think should be answered, have them ask their parents. [2] X Research Source
- For example, you could say something like, “I’ll ask you when I get home, I’m sure she’ll know more!”. There’s a chance she’ll forget about it, but you can let her parents know they’re curious about the baby and gender.
- If your child keeps pushing and asking more personal questions, stay calm and handle the situation as if it were unwise. If your child uses bad words, remind them, and say that if they continue like this, you will tell their parents.
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Consider why your child is so curious. Children are naturally curious, but there are other reasons why they ask questions. For example, maybe the teacher at school is pregnant, or they see the baby on television or on the street. [3] X Research Sources
- If you’re pregnant, your older child may be curious about his younger brother. It is very common for children to ask about babies and pregnancy if they know a baby is coming.
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Ask them where they think babies come from. Children may ask you where babies come from to confirm what they already know. If asked such a question, try the quiz: “Great question! So, guess where babies come from?”, and see how knowledgeable they are on the subject. [4] X Research Sources
- If you’ve discussed babies and pregnancy before, start by confirming what’s been said. For example: “Well, we talked about how babies are born because a man and a woman have intercourse, right?”. If the child confirms they already know this information, then skip it and go to the next question.
- If the child answers that they don’t know, reassure them, then answer the question in the best way you can think of.
Answer the question
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Answer questions posed by children. Many parents often become confused because they think they will have to explain the whole process to their children. Instead, focus on providing answers based on their questions. If your baby asks specifically how they get out of the mother’s body, you can answer something like, “The baby is born when the mother pushes it out through the birth canal, part of the vagina.” [5] X Research Sources
- After being answered the first question, the child may ask more or be satisfied. If the babysitter isn’t satisfied with the answer, ask them, “Is there anything else you want to know about the baby?” or “Is there anything else you want to ask?”.
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Sharpen the answers to be age appropriate. A young baby doesn’t need to know the specifics of pregnancy and the baby-making process. For children under 6, the answer should be general and simple. As your child gets older, you’ll need to be a little more specific. [6] X Research Sources
- Also, there’s a chance that your baby will forget information he’s learned as he gets older, so it’s possible that you and your child will have to talk to each other many times about the birth of your baby before they actually remember it. understand information.
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Avoid using slang or euphemisms when talking about sex or genitals. Let’s talk about the genitals like we talk about any other body part. Use words like penis, vagina, uterus, sex, sperm, egg when talking about making a baby. This ensures children don’t get confused as they grow up and learn about topics like sex. [7] X Research Sources
- For example, you could say, “Men have penises and women have vaginas. The penis produces sperm and the vagina holds the egg”, to teach children about general knowledge of reproductive anatomy.
- You can also start teaching your child about the reproductive organs once they have learned about the rest. Around the age of 2-3 years, children should know about the body, which is basically that women have vaginas and men have penises.
- It’s fine if you refer to sex with the word “making love” when answering a question about the baby-making process, as long as they understand the word to mean sex. This helps children associate the baby with something positive, not something negative or scary.
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For children under 5 years old, answer simply but honestly. Younger children tend to focus on pregnancy and how the baby is born. Explain that women create babies by having sex, from which babies are formed in the woman’s womb. [8] X Research Sources
- For example, if a child asks how a baby is made, you might answer something like, “Children are created when a man and a woman have sex, a man’s sperm fertilizes a woman’s egg. female. The baby then grows in the mother’s womb for nine months until it’s old enough to be born.”
- If your child asks how the baby was born, explain that the baby was born through the vagina, which expands for the baby to be born. You can also add that some mothers choose or are forced to have surgery to get their babies out.
- Make sure to properly explain that the uterus is part of the vagina, and that they are distinct from the stomach. Because children often look and think they are in the mother’s stomach, this confuses them.
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Use pictures to explain to children. There are many books that explain the process of creating and carrying a baby. These books are often accompanied by illustrations suitable for children and not sexually suggestive. [9] X Research Source
- If you can’t find a children’s book, try to explain the process well using an anatomy book. The pictures may be a bit too detailed, but you can use them to show where children grow up, and what the genitals look like.
- Anatomy books are also a great resource for answering more difficult questions like “Where do eggs come from?” or “How is sperm made?”.
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Start talking about puberty when your child is 6-12 years old. For girls, puberty can begin as early as 8-9 years old, and for boys, it can be around 9-10 years old. Tell them that puberty can cause changes in their body, mood, and everyday life. You should also let your child know that this stage is a sign that a woman may be pregnant, and tell them that the penis can fertilize an egg if you have sex. [10] X Research Source
- For example, if your daughter asks about her first period, you might answer: “Most women get their first period when they’re 9-16 years old. Some girls are early, some girls are late. Your first period is a sign of sexual maturity, and you will get pregnant if you have sex.”
- Try to talk about puberty as a normal and natural thing, because it is. Relate to previous conversations, and let your child know that puberty will make them think about sex more.
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For older children, let them know you are available to answer their questions. Older children always assume they know everything about gender, but that’s not always the case. If you’re someone they can talk to about sensitive issues, be prepared for specific questions. For example, teens will ask questions like, “Will oral sex get me pregnant?”. [11] X Research Source
- Remind your teen that you will always be there to answer their questions: “I know growing up is full of strange things, but if you have any questions about relationships or your body, do you have any questions? You can always talk to me.”
- Rely on their questions to remind you of the risks of having sex without appearing to be in the classroom. For the oral sex example, you could say, “You can’t get pregnant with oral sex, but you can get an STI.”
- Don’t conclude that kids ask about sex because they’ve had sex. Children asking this may be because they accidentally heard it through conversations with friends or saw it on TV.
Continue the conversation
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Mention information about reproduction in everyday examples. It’s important to let your child know that questions about babies and sex are normal. Try to find different ways to teach children about pregnancy even before they ask questions. [12] X Research Source
- For example, if you go to the zoo and see a pregnant animal, you might point out: “Do you think that tiger’s belly is bigger than the others? It’s pregnant and about to give birth to a tiger cub!”
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Talk to your child about positive and healthy relationships. For kids younger than 6, this is also a good time to talk about relationships. Explain that there are heterosexuals, and gay and bisexual people. You should discuss with your child what happens when we enter a relationship, and what is mutual respect in a relationship. [13] X Research Source
- At this time, children may feel “disgusted” with discussions about relationships and sex. But it’s still an important topic to talk about, and remind kids that once they’re sexually mature, they can get pregnant if they have sex.
- Remember to mention birth control, STIs, and social pressure in conversation whenever appropriate.
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Let children know that they have a right to privacy and personal space. You should reassure your child that genitals are private parts and that sex is a personal experience. Make it clear that only parents or doctors can see these parts in the case of cleaning or health checks. Remind children that no one is allowed to ask to touch those private parts or force them to touch theirs. [14] X Trusted Source Child Mind Institute Go to Source
- You can explain to younger children by saying: “Vagina and penis are private parts, no one should touch them or force them to touch theirs. If that happens, you can tell me, I won’t be angry.”
- Teach your child to get out of uncomfortable or scary situations by saying “No” or “I have to go.” Let your kids know that there’s nothing wrong with rejecting adults if they’re intimidating or suspicious.
- Reassure children that they won’t get in trouble if they tell you about “secrets” that involve private bodies or organs.
Advice
- Anatomically accurate dolls are a great way to introduce children to the human body. They can help children ask questions and understand how it works.
Warning
- Remember that reproduction is a natural part of life. If you are uncomfortable when your child comes to you for guidance, they will learn from less reliable sources on their own.
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This article was co-written by Sylvia Rath. Sylvia Rath is parenting expert and director of Little Village Kindergarten in Los Angeles, California. With over 30 years of experience, Sylvia specializes in educating parents in respectful communication skills and positive discipline in their child’s kindergarten. Sylvia holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology and early childhood education from the University of Antioch. Before working at Little Village Kindergarten, she worked as a kindergarten teacher for eight years.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,405 times.
Children are famous for asking interesting and sometimes awkward questions. However, if children ask how they were born, you should try to give them an honest answer so that they understand. This helps prepare children to grow up and experience the world. When asked like that, be sure to properly assess the situation and refine your answer to be age appropriate.
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