How to Deal with a Possessive Boyfriend

Everyone loves to be loved and cherished, but the line between caring and possessive behavior is very thin. If you feel as if your boyfriend has become possessive, you should address this as soon as possible. While possessive behavior often stems from low self-esteem, a possessive partner will take these feelings out on you. ^{[1] X Research Source} A possessive boyfriend will make it hard for you to express your own opinions and feelings and make you feel bad for having an independent life. ^{[2] X Research Source} He will stop you from seeing your friends and gradually, try to take control of your life. ^{[3] X Research Sources} If you do not terminate it, this behavior will escalate; But there are a few methods you can take to deal with a possessive boyfriend.

Table of Contents

Adjusting to a relationship with a possessive boyfriend

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Express your feelings. Your boyfriend probably won’t know that he’s behaving in a way that makes you feel possessed. Maybe this is his first love, or his ex-girlfriend has a completely different personality from yours. Or maybe he’s going through some event in his life that makes him want to be closer to you than you want him to be. Talking about your needs and desires in this relationship will always be a good place to start.

Try to start with an example: “When you keep calling me while I’m hanging out with my friends, I feel like you don’t trust me” or “You make me feel uncomfortable when you don’t trust me.” Don’t talk to me after I go out with some friends.”
Provide specific examples of a time when you felt that the person was showing possessiveness: “I was upset when we went to the football game and you didn’t talk to me after I went to school with some friends. play horseshoes”.
Avoid calling him a bad name, for example, don’t call him “possessive”. Instead, say that you feel your partner’s behavior is becoming so possessive that it’s suffocating you. Calling each other by bad names will end up in an argument, but expressing your feelings won’t put you in this situation.

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Discuss behaviors that you feel you cannot accept. This needs to be discussed clearly and privately, in a time when you can openly talk about the kind of behavior that you cannot tolerate in a romantic relationship. They must revolve around an issue where you are not willing to compromise. Here are a few examples of behavior that may be difficult for you to accept:

Asking you to stop seeing friends, especially male friends, without a good reason.
Commands you about what kind of clothes you should wear, criticizes you when he feels your clothes “don’t fit”.
Constantly calling or texting you when you’re not around.
Review your phone, email or personal items.
Ask you to explain each of your actions for the day.
Makes you feel guilty for having to change plans for a good reason.
Give him an ultimatum or threaten you if you don’t spend enough time with him.

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Explain your own needs in the relationship. Your partner may not fully understand your unique needs in this relationship, so it’s important that you communicate with him. This action will help you reduce the person’s possessive behavior.

Explain the need for independent living. Let your boyfriend know that even though you love spending time with him, you still want some alone time to see your friends and family. Having a life of your own that doesn’t revolve around the person you love is a very important part of a healthy relationship. ^{[4] X Research Source} Encourage him to also meet friends or family without you.
Talk about your desire to be trusted. Similar to the trust you have in him, he should also believe in you. This is the foundation of a healthy emotional relationship.
Negotiate a few rules for your relationship: for example, both of you need to be allowed to possess and spend time with friends of the opposite sex; however, absolute honesty and loyalty, as well as monogamy, are required. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

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Discuss your commitment to the relationship. Possessive behavior is often rooted in low self-esteem and insecurity. ^{[6] X Research Source} If your boyfriend’s possessive attitude isn’t too heavy, you can remind him that you’re completely committed to the relationship and that he doesn’t need to worry about it. your intention.

Verbal affirmation is a pretty powerful way to reassure the person. A simple “I love you and only you” will do wonders.

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Allow him to participate in your plans to meet your friends. Oftentimes, the possessiveness of the person you love often stems from jealousy as well as feelings of insecurity. ^{[7] X Research Source} Allowing him to participate in some group activities with your friends will help him feel more comfortable about your independent life without him around.

In particular, introducing male friends to your boyfriend will be quite helpful. He may not feel comfortable with the opposite sex you meet. However, this is no reason to stop spending time with them; Instead, invite your crush to meet your friends so he can see that he doesn’t need to worry about your relationship.

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Let time heal the wound. After you’ve talked about the negative feelings you’ve experienced in this relationship, both of you’ll be emotionally charged. This is a good time to get away from each other for a while and reflect on what you both discussed, before getting back together and trying to build a happier and healthier relationship than before.

You should know that it takes time for progress. Your boyfriend won’t change overnight. You need to be willing to put in the time and effort to help him change his possessive behavior.
Don’t hesitate to point out when your crush is repeating previous possessive behavior. Don’t let him “get rid of the guilt”. Instead, you should let him know about it right away and explain how it made you feel.
Encourage him when he is loving but not possessive. When your loved one behaves in a respectful way, let him know. This will make him want to do them more often.

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Be realistic when assessing whether your relationship is worth fixing. If your boyfriend wants to change his behavior and is willing to respect your feelings and listen to your wants and needs in this relationship, you should create an opportunity to maintain the relationship. However, if you feel frustrated, scared, worried, or panicking, you should end it.

You need to remember that no matter how much you want him to change, you can’t do this on your own. He needs to be someone who is willing to kick-start this process and stick to it so that he can change his behavior.

Free yourself from your current situation

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Get ready to break up with your possessive boyfriend. If his possessive behavior is increasing, or has reached a disturbing level, you should understand that you cannot change him (at least without professional guidance). ^{[8] X Research Source} The desire to control a lover may be part of his personality, but you shouldn’t try to put up with it. It’s time for you to break up.

Plan to say what you want to say. Remember that your opinion matters and you deserve to be heard. Don’t let your partner blame you back – remember you’re the one who wants to end the relationship, and you’re doing it for good reason and reason.

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Stick to the breakup plan. Breaking up isn’t easy, and it’s even more difficult if you’re the one being controlled in a possessive emotional relationship.

Choose a time and place to break up with the person you love. While it’s better to break up in person, a possessive boyfriend may be overreacting or abusive.
- A crowded public place will be the safest place to break up if you’re worried about your boyfriend’s possible reaction.
Share your intention to break up with your ex with a friend or loved one you trust. You should ask that person to help you stick to this intention.
Ask him to allow you to speak. You need to be able to tell the person you love everything you want to say without being interrupted. As long as you do it in a controlled and polite way, he’ll listen.
Shouldn’t linger. After you’ve said what needs to be said, and given him a chance to respond, you should move away. Give it time to settle down before you contact the person.

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Be prepared for a backlash. If your boyfriend exhibits a possessive attitude during the dating process, he is likely to continue this behavior when you both break up. Mentally preparing for this can help you deal with it when it comes up.

Beware of trying to make you feel guilty to get back with him. This process can take the form of saying “Do you remember when we went for a walk on the beach together at sunset?” or in the form of more serious threats (such as threatening to end his life). It’s important to realize that this is just emotional manipulation – don’t tolerate it!
- If your ex-boyfriend is threatening that he will harm himself or others, you need to report it to someone right away. Call 112 if you believe he or someone else is in danger.
Determined to make your intentions come true. Regardless of your partner’s reaction, you should know that you made the wise decision to end this unhealthy relationship.

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Seek support from family and friends. You should ask friends and family to help or support you whenever you need it. They will help you reaffirm your choice to end the relationship, or remind you of some of your ex-boyfriend’s disturbing behavior.

Reconnecting with someone you lost while in a relationship with a possessive boyfriend can be quite helpful in helping you get through the breakup.

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Seek professional help if needed. Ending a possessive relationship is a challenging process. However, the fear of being alone is not appropriate enough for you to maintain a relationship with someone you feel is controlling you. A counselor can help you deal with negative emotions and with the pain of a breakup.

Talking about your relationship is a healthy way to deal with the fact that your loved one’s behavior is completely wrong.

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Allow yourself time to recover. Whether the relationship is good or bad, breaking up is never easy. You should take time for yourself before starting a new love. When you’re ready, here are a few things you can do to move forward after ending your relationship with your possessive boyfriend:

Look back at the ups and downs of past relationships. It’s important to be aware of the good times and the bad. The time you spend in this relationship is not wasted at all; instead, it has its own purpose: it helps you get clear on what you do NOT want your partner to possess.
Learn to recognize early signs of a possessive boyfriend. In the future, you will be more familiar with the manifestation of jealous and possessive behavior. You will be more wary of who you are about to date.
Remember to love yourself. If your relationship has taken away your self-esteem, confidence, or love for yourself, you should work to get them back. Spending time with friends, pursuing a new hobby, or finding solace in a space you love is a great way to reconnect with your soul.
Enter a new relationship with care and caution. Apply the lessons you’ve learned from previous relationships to build happier and healthier relationships with others when the time is right.

Steps

Adjusting to a relationship with a possessive boyfriend

Free yourself from your current situation

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