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A person’s personality can change many times during a lifetime. [1] X Research Sources You may not realize that behaviors become more ingrained as people get older. The key to improving character is to change behavior to enhance good qualities and limit bad ones. Have a pen and paper ready for introspection.
Steps
Identify typical features
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Sit down and make a list of your good qualities. You should number them in order of how confident you are in possessing these traits. Examples include the qualities of being a good listener, open-minded, emotional, often introspective, insightful, or intelligent.
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List negative traits. These are the things people often react to, or things that you think are holding you back. Examples include timidity, anger, talkativeness, judgment or excessive anxiety.
- Note that the positive or negative in this situation is subjective. Some people think it’s a good thing that they are too open or talkative. Changing your personality needs to be based on your perspective and desire to improve yourself.
- This second list is even more difficult to make than the first. You need to take the time to consider your qualities when in contact with others or when alone, as these are the main factors that you want to change.
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Underline the things that you don’t want to change, at least for now. You cannot immediately change everything related to your personality.
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Mark a star next to the points that you want to strengthen or change. Maybe you’re smart, but you still want to be sharper.
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Prioritize items marked with an asterisk. Behavior change should be gradual, changing characteristics one by one through practice and determination. [2] X Research Source
Behavior change
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Select the personality traits you want to change. For example, imagine that you want to become bolder.
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List behaviors that show your reluctance to interact with others. You can record actions such as leaving the party early, not interrupting, not giving an opinion, avoiding others or refusing to volunteer.
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Choose the opposite behavior to perform. For example, volunteering for a new role at work or receiving multiple invitations to social events.
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Pick someone you admire who has this personality and imitate their behavior. You should apply individual characteristics instead of the whole personality, because each person’s personality is like no other. However, you can learn a lot from people who have good behavior in everyday life. [3] X Research Sources
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Regularly remind yourself to maintain these new behaviors. Make mantras like “I will be heard.” Set reminders in your phone to interact with more people.
Improve yourself
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Maintain a positive attitude. A negative attitude will reduce self-confidence and determination to improve yourself.
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Learn new things. Join new organizations, classes, clubs, or groups. It’s easy to fall back into old habits when meeting close acquaintances; However, new acquaintances often expect nothing from you and you will be able to successfully initiate the new behavior.
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Be comfortable with yourself. Personality cannot change overnight. You should give yourself plenty of time and space to transform the behavior into a more fulfilling quality.
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Try the “Pretend until it’s real” tactic. In some cases, you need to act as if being a different person will bring you new friends, new behavior, and new success. Make sure this “fake” person is fit for your goals so that you don’t develop into a bad quality. This is helpful for many people, but if you don’t meet someone with these traits, you can watch a movie to “pretend” until it’s real. After a while, you will naturally become less shy, or you will become calmer, for example.
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Review the list for a month and rate your success. Continue working on new traits after you’ve succeeded in the first one. For example, if you’ve made a lot of new friends and started sharing ideas at work, it may be time to move on to working on larger negative traits.
X
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 13 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 6,572 times.
A person’s personality can change many times during a lifetime. [1] X Research Sources You may not realize that behaviors become more ingrained as people get older. The key to improving character is to change behavior to enhance good qualities and limit bad ones. Have a pen and paper ready for introspection.
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