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This article was co-written by Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a private practice psychologist in San Jose, CA, co-founder of the international program Project Reciprocity at Facebook headquarters, and a consultant for Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in helping successful but troubled people in love and marriage, reduce stress and anxiety, and help them be happier in life. In 2016, he gave a TED talk on men and men’s feelings. Dorsay holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology from Santa University and received her doctorate in clinical psychology in 2008.
There are 20 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 5,712 times.
Many people do not see themselves as the source of happiness. It is possible to find happiness within yourself. You can approach this in many ways, and there are many methods you can use to increase your sense of well-being. You don’t have to look outside of yourself to discover the source of happiness. Just take the time to search.
Steps
Determining the Path to Happiness
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Rewrite what happiness means to you. Since this is your happiness, it is very important to determine what happiness means to you. There are many ways to rewrite your ideas, just make sure you do this. When you define exactly what happiness means to you by visualizing happiness within yourself, you have a clear goal in mind.
- Brainstorm to quickly list ideas.
- Provide sketches to build your thoughts.
- Write an essay to clarify your thoughts.
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Try to find the factors that lead to positive or negative thoughts. Maybe rainy days often put you in a bad mood, or thinking about a test often makes you think of failure. When you recognize them, you are already in a position to fight them and try to change your mood. [1] X Research Source Instead of thinking about how bad a rainy day can make you feel, think positively, like “Today the plants in the garden will be well watered.”
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Set goals that are meaningful to you personally . Look at life carefully. Define your values. Think about who you want to be. Use it to set goals that make sense to you. Research shows that people who set goals for themselves are generally happy to pursue these goals. [2] X Research Source
- Be realistic. Be aware of your circumstances and capabilities as you plan. [3] X Research Sources
- Keep your goals action-oriented. Don’t just focus on things or things that you have or don’t have. Focus on what you can do.
- Set your goals in a positive light. You can achieve your goal if you see it as something you need to work towards, not something you have to fight against. [4] X Research Sources
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Visualize “your best self.” This helps increase feelings of happiness and health. [5] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source[6] X Source Research It involves visualizing your “future friend” looking back on the progress toward achieving your goal and then choosing what you need use/learn to get you to your destination. [7] X Research Sources
- Pick a few goals and imagine you’ve achieved them.
- Make sure goals have personal meaning and not just status symbols.
- Rewrite every detail in your script. Visualize the points you need to succeed.
- Consider what traits and skills you already have.
Cultivating Happiness
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Form an optimistic outlook. Start with self-improvement in a few areas of your life. Pessimism is often rooted in feelings of helplessness. Identify a few areas you want to change in your life, and then work on improving them. This will restore confidence in your ability to create change. [8] X Research Sources
- See yourself as the cause, not the effect. Optimists believe that any negative event or experience can be overcome. [9] X Research Source For example, if you’re having a bad day, take it as a challenge. Don’t let yourself feel defeated.
- Start slowly. Don’t feel like you have to get everything done at once.
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Practice gratitude actively. This means creating things we are grateful for. Many studies confirm that gratitude is good for you. It reduces anxiety and depression. Gratitude helps you become positive and happy. [10] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source It strengthens relationships with others and encourages compassion. [11] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source[12] X Research Source[13] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source[14] X Research Source
- Some people are born with gratitude, but you can train yourself to develop gratitude. [15] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- Take time each day, like before dinner, to talk about the things for which you are grateful.
- Remember to thank the store clerk, delivery man, or co-worker more often.
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Forgive and forget. Many studies show that forgiveness has many benefits for the giver. Forgiveness produces a feeling of calmer and has a great effect on health. Tackling stress by reflecting on negative emotions will help increase overall happiness. [16] X Research Source Don’t just forgive others, remember to forgive yourself.
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Meditation. The purpose of meditation is to focus and calm the mind. Surprisingly, you can meditate anywhere and anytime. There are many types of meditation such as yoga, transcendental meditation, mindfulness meditation.
- Try different types of meditation. Search online or talk to a meditation teacher to find the type of meditation that works best for you.
- Create a regular routine. Meditation works best when done at the same time every day, so make it an important part of your schedule.
Dealing with Negativity
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Struggling with negative thoughts. Even if you’ve always thought negatively, you can change the way you think. Every time you have a negative thought, especially when you think automatically, stop and consider [17] X Research Source whether the thoughts are true or correct. [18] X Research Sources
- When you feel like a failure, remind yourself of past successes.
- If you are angry with someone, try to see the problem from their point of view.
- When you’re sad, watch comedies or tell an impromptu joke.
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Empathize with yourself. Blaming yourself makes you feel weak and unhappy. Indulging in negative thoughts or guilt does not promote improvement. It pulls you back. Show yourself the kindness and generosity you give to others. [19] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- Take care of yourself on bad days.
- Doing something that distracts you will help break your mood swings.
- Rest and relax.
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Stop remembering. Recalling is the repetition of negative thoughts. Moments, thoughts, things that other people say keep repeating in your head to the point of haunting you. [20] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to the source Recalling these things creates negative thoughts and feelings. The more you repeat it, the worse the situation will become. Excessive recall can lead to depression. [21] X Research Source
- Try to solve the problems you are obsessed with. [22] X Research Sources Instead of thinking about it, take action. Change the circumstances, or tell the person who can.
- Practice thinking positively about yourself. If you spend a lot of time thinking about your negatives, block it with self-praise. Tell yourself that you did well and that you did your best.
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Seek professional assistance if necessary. There are many cases where experts can help to promote your own search for happiness. Find the professional that is best for you. You may not need help or you may turn to more than one professional.
- Life coaches and spiritual mentors can help you with your strategy for inner happiness.
- Therapists, psychologists are qualified people to help with psychological problems.
Advice
- Learn yourself, teach yourself and love yourself. And if you don’t believe in yourself then most of these and positive things will not be achieved!
- If you feel depressed, take a deep breath through your nose and listen to your breathing.
- Do the things you love!
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This article was co-written by Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a private practice psychologist in San Jose, CA, co-founder of the international program Project Reciprocity at Facebook headquarters, and a consultant for Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in helping successful but troubled people in love and marriage, reduce stress and anxiety, and help them be happier in life. In 2016, he gave a TED talk on men and men’s feelings. Dorsay holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology from Santa University and received her doctorate in clinical psychology in 2008.
There are 20 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 5,712 times.
Many people do not see themselves as the source of happiness. It is possible to find happiness within yourself. You can approach this in many ways, and there are many methods you can use to increase your sense of well-being. You don’t have to look outside of yourself to discover the source of happiness. Just take the time to search.
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