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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,117 times.
Self-esteem issues can make you feel like you’re a failure or don’t deserve attention. However, each person has good qualities and abilities that are worthy of respect. If you’re struggling to boost your self-esteem, you can take some specific actions to start increasing your confidence. In addition, when you develop a positive attitude, you will be on the right track to becoming a more assertive individual.
Steps
Develop an active lifestyle
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Take care of yourself. The first and most important thing to do to boost your self-esteem is to dedicate time and attention to yourself. Showing that you value yourself is a prerequisite to seeing how others perceive you. Make sure you do the following: [1] X Research Sources
- Exercise regularly [2] X Research Source
- Develop a daily routine for yourself to be happy, like taking a hot shower at the end of the day or going for an afternoon walk.
- Learn a new skill or hobby, develop a talent, or just learn about topics you love [3] X Research Sources[4] X Research Resources
- Feel comfortable where you live! Take the time to clean and decorate your home, even simply rearranging bookshelves.
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Eat healthy . To feel healthy, you need adequate nutrients. This means eating a balanced diet. Certain vitamins like vitamin D and vitamin B12 can help improve mood. [5] X Research Sources[6] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source
- Ideal sources of vitamin D include: salmon, dairy products and nutritious juices.
- Good sources of vitamin B12 are in: liver, fortified cereals and dairy products.
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Take time to do the things you enjoy. Low self-esteem risks causing a lot of stress. However, if you make time to do things you love, you can relieve stress and connect with a sense of self-worth. [7] X Research Resources[8] X Research Resources Read books, apply your musical or artistic talents, go to the movies or play games, spend time with friends, whatever you enjoy !
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Get something done. Self-esteem problems are often related to feelings of failure. One solution to this feeling is to set a goal and achieve it to consciously accomplish something. Even a small accomplishment will help you feel more confident and fulfilled. [9] X Research Source
- Improving the look and feel of your home is an ideal place to start: cleaning, organizing cupboards, decorating, etc.
- Taking care of easy, low-stress tasks like running errands or going to the grocery store can also help you feel good about completing them.
- You can also plan for long-term goals like reducing or eliminating debt, learning a new skill, losing weight, etc.
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Wear nice clothes. While looks shouldn’t be your main motivator, considering your appearance can have a positive effect on your self-esteem. However, this does not mean that you need to buy expensive clothes. You can wear any clothes that make you feel confident, and that inner feeling will show on the outside! [10] X Research Source
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Reward yourself. You can show how much you value yourself if you give yourself something special every once in a while. Rewarding yourself shows that you care about all that you do, especially if it comes after you’ve really worked hard. [11] X Research Source
- The reward need not be in physical form. You can also reward yourself with experiences. For example, you go to a concert after completing a big project at work or school.
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Spend time with good people. If you want to boost your self-esteem, surround yourself with positive, supportive, and kind people. Avoid people who are negative, look down on you, or seem to discourage you. [12] X Research Source
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Practice kindness. If you’re having a hard time feeling comfortable with yourself, try being kind to others. You will feel good when you help someone. Showing you care about others also strengthens the expectation that others should care about you. [13] X Research Source Try:
- Have random acts of kindness, like paying for a stranger’s meal.
- Visiting sick friends or relatives.
- Help the neighbors with the garden work.
- Volunteer for a good cause in the community. [14] X Research Source[15] X Research Source
Acknowledge your good qualities
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Make a positive list. Taking time to consider the positives in life can be motivating to boost self-esteem. By always having good thoughts, you will push the negativity out of your mind. [16] X Research Source Try making a list:
- Things you are grateful for.
- Your good qualities (such as kindness, patience, and thoughtfulness). [17] X Research Source
- Strengths or talents you possess (such as good work ethic, artistic or musical abilities, skills in an academic or professional field, etc.). [18] X Research Sources
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Try the mutual praise exercise. Sit down with a friend, family member, or someone you trust. Take turns complimenting each other or describing the other’s good qualities. This simple exercise will boost your own and others’ self-esteem. [19] X Research Source
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Keep “a positive album”. Collect things that compliment you and your good qualities. These can be photos, letters, rewards, mementos of places you’ve been, and things that remind you of positive events in your life. [20] X Research Resources Make sure you keep adding to the album and check it out when you feel you need a self-esteem boost.
- It doesn’t have to be in actual album form. Any form of gathering will help, like a box or display shelf.
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Create a self-esteem calendar. Use a calendar, and every day create a schedule for one small thing that helps you feel better. It could be: “Cook your favorite meal,” “Call a friend,” or “Walk in the park.” Take note of what gets accomplished each day, and reflect on how you feel afterward. [21] X Research Source
Create a positive attitude
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Transform negative thoughts. Self-esteem problems are often caused by external stress or crisis. While you cannot prevent this, you do have some control over how you think about things. When you feel negative thoughts arise, stop and turn them into more positive ones. [22] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source[23] X Research Source[24] X Research Source
- When you have self-critical thoughts (like “I’m so stupid”), you need to ask yourself, “Is that true? Who am I going to tell that to or about someone else? Do I get anything from thinking like that? What will I gain if I stop thinking that way?”
- Focus on subtle adjustment thoughts to emphasize how to see a situation in a positive light. For example, instead of thinking, “I won’t let myself be distracted at school anymore,” try saying, “I plan to develop good study habits.”
- Try the following simple exercise. Fold a piece of paper in half. On one side of the paper, write down any negative thoughts you have about yourself. On the other side, write a corresponding positive thought to replace the negative thought.
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Accept failure. No one can be successful in all areas all the time. However, you can recognize and feel satisfied with your efforts when you actually try to do something. You can also think of ways to learn from mistakes. [25] X Research Sources[26] X Research Sources
- For example, if you didn’t do well on a test (even if you studied very hard), take a moment to acknowledge your effort. If you didn’t study hard in the past, you might have done better, and you need to review your mistakes to figure out how to improve in the future.
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Listen to yourself. Your body and mind often say what you need to do, so listening to your needs can help you feel better. It could be something as simple as getting more sleep if you feel tired. However, if you find yourself constantly thinking about living closer to your family, it could be an important thing to do. [27] X Research Source
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Don’t compare yourself with others. Life is often competitive, but it’s important to set standards for yourself instead of trying to match others. [28] X Research Sources You need to realize that not everyone is great at everything, and that everyone has their own strengths. If you feel like you want to improve some aspect of your life, make it a goal to do it for yourself, and don’t worry about what other people do or think. [29] X Research Sources
- For example, if you want to develop athletic abilities like basketball or tennis, you need to set a goal for personal improvement, rather than just trying to match or beat someone else.
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Find support. If you feel like you have a problem with your self-esteem, you don’t have to deal with it alone. Good friends and family will be happy to help you feel better, spend time with you, and share your good qualities. You can also find a support group or counseling in your area to work together and find ways to boost self-esteem. [30] X Research Source
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Determine the cause of the problem. Understanding what makes you feel low self-esteem will help you deal with the problem. Sometimes, specific causes are difficult to pinpoint, but common triggers include: [31] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Critical situation, like a big project at work or school.
- Significant changes in your personal or professional life, like ending a relationship or losing a job.
- A crisis, such as an illness, injury, or financial problem.
- Bullying.
- Negative perceptions of body image [32] X Trusted Source US Office on Women’s Health Go to source
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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,117 times.
Self-esteem issues can make you feel like you’re a failure or don’t deserve attention. However, each person has good qualities and abilities that are worthy of respect. If you’re struggling to boost your self-esteem, you can take some specific actions to start increasing your confidence. In addition, when you develop a positive attitude, you will be on the right track to becoming a more assertive individual.
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