How to Don’t Let Your Emotions Control You

People can experience a wide range of emotions in just one day. Sometimes, we feel that our emotions can control us, causing us to say or do things that we regret later. If you’re having trouble controlling your emotions, you’re not alone. You can control most emotions by consciously focusing back on your current emotions and applying practical strategies to overcome them.

Table of Contents

Deal with strong emotions

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Be aware of current emotions. Emotional experiences are broken down into three elements: body language and behaviour, instinctive reactions, and thoughts. Sometimes, you feel an obvious emotion, while at other times, you may experience a variety of emotions. Consider a few common emotions with three related factors to determine how you feel right now. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Anger can be expressed as clenched fists, nose heaving, heart pounding, sweating and rushing to conclusions with certain thoughts.
Confusion can include scratching of the head or cheeks, rapid blinking of eyes, increased body temperature, and racing thoughts.
Frustration can be manifested by a heavy sigh, head drooping, sudden nausea, heart seemingly constricting, and thoughts of terror or despair.
Fear can be associated with elbows clasped to the side, tremors, extreme sensitivity to touch or noise, and a desire to run or hide.
Jealousy can be expressed by criticizing opponents, making jokes, burning sensations in the chest, and hasty decisions.
Sadness can include grimaces, a shaky chin, a sore throat, the world seeming to slow down, and wanting to be alone.

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Identify which situations make you emotional. If you are experiencing intense emotions, you need to understand the triggers that cause these feelings. This is especially true if you find yourself annoyed all the time. Reflect on the past few hours or days. Consider the people you’ve talked to and the topics of conversations you’ve had. ^{[2] X Research Source}

It could be someone who makes you feel powerful, or a particular topic that interests you. People/subjects that can evoke strong emotions include family, friends, relationships, work, money, criticism, and broken promises.

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Be conscious of your thoughts on the situation. ^{[3] X Research Sources} Once you have targeted a person/person or topic as a trigger, write down your feelings about that person or topic. Write down emotions like, “I’m angry because…” or “I’m frustrated because…” This exercise can give you insight into what’s driving your emotions. your. You may not have been aware of these factors before.

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Verify whether your thinking is realistic. Once you have written down what governs your emotions, you can check the accuracy of those words. For example, if you wrote, “I’m disappointed Danh didn’t buy me a birthday present,” you need to consider many variable factors related to Danh’s behavior and your own. Have you made it clear to Danh that you don’t want to receive gifts this year? How often do you feel dissatisfied with previous gifts that Danh has bought for you? Is Danh having financial difficulties and not being able to buy gifts? If you can find at least one proof that Danh’s behavior was appropriate, then you have proven that your reaction (e.g., disappointment) was unreasonable.

If you can’t find any evidence that can tame your strong emotions, then you need to look at the situation from a different perspective. Strong emotions are almost always associated with some irrational beliefs that are deep within our being. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

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Develop an appropriate alternative behavior. ^{[5] X Research Sources} After you’ve thoroughly examined how you think and behave in your interactions with others, try to come up with a plan to demonstrate a healthier response in the future.

Consider the previous situation about the birthday present. Once you realized that Danh didn’t give you any presents for your birthday, what did you do? You may have acted out of quiet aggression by not showing your emotions, but taking some subtle action like being indifferent to him, showing no affection, or ruining other plans. that he has for you.
Think about how you might have reacted to minimize your discomfort – and maybe he feels the same way. You can tell him straight up that you expect the gift from him and it disappoints you. This may sound blunt, but you’ll feel less frustrated once you understand Danh’s real reason. Plus, he won’t find it difficult to be around you and wonder why you’re behaving a certain way. He will understand your feelings better and eliminate any misunderstandings.

Understand the cause of agitation

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Know when it’s not a good time to have a serious discussion. There are some situations in which the best thing to do is delay the discussion to a later date to prevent emotions from spiraling out of control. If you want to talk to someone when anger is burning or you have some extreme emotions, consider the acronym HALT. It stands for hunger, anger, loneliness, and loneliness. ), and fatigue. ^{[6] X Research Source}

These are times when we are vulnerable and almost out of control. Remember, in the future take a moment to pause and take care of yourself before trying to solve any problems.
Eat something often, do a relaxing activity, meet other people for social connection, or take a needed break. Then re-evaluate the situation when you already have plenty of resources at your disposal.

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Acknowledge your understanding of a few situations. Personal insights into life situations often trigger emotions that are beyond your control. For example, an employer might create year-end reviews for all employees. An employee might review the scoreboard and say, “Wow! It’s not as bad as I thought. At least, I didn’t get fired!”. Others may say, “What is this? I’ll never be able to advance until I’m at 100%!”” Our understanding of events provokes emotions. The first employee may feel relieved, while the second is agitated. Negative interpretations often form as a result of misperceptions such as: ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Over-generalizing – believing that one event has a major effect on all areas of your life when it’s not as severe.
Dichotomous thinking – also known as “all-or-nothing thinking”, this ambiguity involves thinking that everything is black or white without acknowledging the underlying grayscale .
Emotional reasoning – rely on interpretations of the truth about your current feelings (like you feel ugly, therefore you must be ugly).
Refine – focus only on the negative events in your life while minimizing the positive events.

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Think about beliefs about certain emotions. Our emotional responses are largely influenced by our cultural and family background. People learn to regulate emotions based on patterns and imitate the emotions of others in their original environment. ^{[8] X Research Source} For example, if a boy is taught not to cry as a child, he may retain those instructions into adulthood. He may have difficulty expressing feelings to others or converting one form of affection into another that is more socially acceptable.

Consider what we were taught about exploring and expressing emotions as children. These early beliefs can play an important role in how you express your current feelings.
Anger is often referred to as an umbrella emotion because it often overshadows other emotions. ^{[9] X Research Sources} People from different cultures may find it more acceptable to express anger than insecurity and sadness. Keeping this in mind, it is always a good idea to take a deeper look to understand what lies beneath manifest emotions, to know if there are deeper emotions that you cannot pinpoint.

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Reflect on other people’s behavior towards you. If you’re having trouble understanding your role in developing strong emotions, pay attention to other people’s emotional reactions to you. All participants in a discussion play a role in developing strong emotions, although as we learned above, emotional responses depend on how you interpret a situation.

Sometimes, we’re not as aware of our own body language or nonverbal expressions as we are about other people’s body language. Observe the behaviors others are exhibiting. If the other person is acting defensively (like crossing your arms or stomping your feet), ask yourself what you are resisting that contributes to their reaction.

Release extreme emotions

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Try taking a deep breath. ^{[10] X Research Source} Deep breathing is the perfect technique to use in the midst of extreme emotions. As soon as you notice the physical signs (like heart palpitations, clenched fists, upset stomach, etc.) of an incoming strong emotion, you can put them aside and practice deep breathing seconds or minutes. This can reorient your attitude and cause you to respond cautiously to the situation. It can also be used as a relaxation method to prevent you from acting in a way you’ll regret.

Start breathing as usual, but pay close attention to each breath. Then, inhale deeply through your nose, inflating your stomach as if you were inflating a balloon. Place your hand on your stomach to feel these movements. Exhale slowly, flattening the abdomen. Repeat this method until the intense emotional state subsides.

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Practice mindfulness for emotions. ^{[11] X Research Sources} Practicing mindfulness meditation can be helpful in overcoming strong emotions such as sadness, fear, anger, and even jealousy. Mindfulness meditation is generally about having a comfortable seat in an area with few distractions. Cross your legs and close your eyes if you’re comfortable with that. Breathe deeply, noticing your belly contract and relax with each breath.

After you have practiced breathing a few times, feel your emotions. Perhaps you can recall the situation that caused this emotion. Continue to breathe deeply and slowly. Notice how your body feels in response to this emotion. Is your chest tight? Is your stomach rumbling? You have headaches?
Once you are aware of your bodily sensations when you have this emotion, simply sit and feel the sensation for a while. Accept it as a temporary, fickle part of you. Continue breathing as you focus on this feeling of acceptance. If you are overwhelmed by emotion or worried that it is continuing, refocus on your breathing and presence in the room.
People often resist strong emotions because they are afraid to react. By engaging in emotional mindfulness, you can realize that emotions themselves can’t harm you. They will eventually disappear. You can control them.

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Do exercise. It can be difficult to motivate yourself to engage in physical activity when you are experiencing intense emotions, but the benefits are worth the effort. Regular exercise has many great benefits for your physical health, it also benefits your mental health. Exercise lowers stress hormone levels and boosts the production of mood-lifting endorphins and acts as natural pain relievers. ^{[12] X Trusted Source Harvard Medical Schop Go to Source}

Find an activity that can help you get rid of the residual effects of the intense emotion. If you feel angry, you can try jogging or playing boxing to relieve this emotion. If you’re feeling down, light walks and yoga can help.

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Practice muscle relaxation continuously. ^{[13] X Research Source} If an intense emotional state causes you to feel your body tense, take a few minutes to try this relaxation technique. Continuous muscle relaxation is the gradual contraction and release of different muscle groups in the body. It acts as a way to relieve stress and make you more aware of your body.

Sit with thighs parallel to the ground/floor and arms parallel to upper body. Relax with that pose. Close your eyes or try not to focus on any stimuli in the room around you. Breathe deeply and purify. Start with the feet, then move through the body. Pick a muscle group and squeeze all the muscles (like toes). Keep them contracted as you breathe to notice the tension. Then relax them and notice the tension disappear. Continue doing the same with each muscle group.

Warning

If you find yourself experiencing intense emotions frequently and are unable to control them on your own, you should see a mental health professional. They can teach you some skills to manage these emotions.

Steps

Deal with strong emotions

Understand the cause of agitation

Release extreme emotions

Warning

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