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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 22 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 14,921 times.
For those who sleep alone or live alone, spending hours in the evening is especially lonely. In fact, loneliness at night can affect anyone, making you feel sad or scared. While it’s important to acknowledge that you feel alone, you don’t have to try and endure all night in misery. There are some truly meaningful things you can do to make the night more fulfilling and enjoyable.
Steps
Make Yourself Busy in the Evening
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Motor. There are many ways to get your body moving and take the loneliness out of your mind: try exercising, bouncing around to some favorite music, dancing in bed, or learning karate on YouTube.
- Exercise helps release the chemical compound endorphins that boost mood and improve feelings of loneliness. [1] X Research Source Just remember not to exercise near bedtime or your body and brain will have a hard time relaxing and getting used to the sleep pattern. For some people, exercising in the evening helps them feel comfortable going to bed later while maintaining good health.
- Do something fun and enjoyable—like playing music or dancing in your underwear. This will make you laugh and is a great way to feel comfortable instead of just feeling lonely! [2] X Research Source
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Find inspiration. Everyone knows that the dark night often brings a lot of negative emotions, especially when we are alone. However, you can combat negative feelings by doing a few positive things to endure loneliness.
- Skim through some inspirational quotes on Pinterest or Google and then set it as your phone wallpaper or change your social media profile picture. Read a biography of a successful person you admire. Or, watch an uplifting and educational talk on a TED Talk. [3] X Research Sources
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Immerse yourself in another world. Read an interesting book, watch a favorite movie, binge-watch a good TV show or go online. All of these choices will tune your brain into another channel and distract you from the fact that you’re lonely. When you feel that sleep is coming, you should go to bed and go to sleep.
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Go out by car or go for a walk. Sometimes it’s best to get out of the house (weather permitting). Something to keep you entertained and the changing scenery around you can help make you forget your feelings of loneliness. You can even meet up and have a quick chat with someone you know. Or, you might stumble across something interesting along the way. [4] X Research Sources
- Think before you step into an unfamiliar place. For example, drive to a part of town that you are not familiar with or go for a walk to a neighbor’s house that you rarely visit. As long as you make sure you know in advance it’s a relatively safe area, this way you’re experiencing something new as part of a cure for loneliness, which distracts you from many things.
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Exchange off. Experts say that reading when lonely is a way to feel less lost. The more you learn about loneliness and how common it is, the less lonely you will feel. Knowing that there are other people who share the same difficult, painful feeling as you do, it makes the feeling a little less bad. [5] X Research Sources
- Find some online resources or read a book in the library. Always keep this resource ready to use when you get really bored. You can adopt some of your favorite quotes and read them to give yourself a little motivation when loneliness hits. A great example of a helpful guide to this topic is author Emily White’s book Lonely: Learning To Live with Spitude. [6] X Research Source
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Cherish yourself. Realize that you are your own truly wonderful companion. You don’t have to be with other people or do some fun things just to feel happy. While being with other people is fun, it’s also important to learn to enjoy solitude. Spending time alone can be very valuable. If you appreciate yourself—and your solitude—you may end up feeling less alone.
- When you feel lonely, take time to rest and close your eyes. Focus on your breathing and feeling each part of your body. Try to live for the present, focus only on yourself.
- Try rereading this self-compassion verse to remind yourself: you’re not alone when you feel lonely, and treat yourself with kindness when you feel it: This is a painful moment. Suffering is a part of life. Be kind to yourself at this time. Let yourself feel the love of the person you need. [7] X Research Sources
- This method may not work for everyone. Some people will find it too difficult to relax when instead of forgetting about loneliness, they focus on that feeling. This is completely normal.
Beside Others
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Connect with someone. Find someone you can talk to at any time of the evening—even 2:30 a.m. This could be a lover, sibling, parent, or best friend. [8] X Research Source Roll and shake gently to wake up your partner, or call someone who is willing to talk to you. Perhaps, you can connect with roommates that are only a few doors away. Only reach out to them when you can.
- If it’s not too late, consider calling someone they really want to hear from, like an elderly relative. Not only will this lift your spirits, but it will also help them, in return you will also help yourself to lift yourself up again!
- When loneliness hits in the middle of the night and it’s too late to call or see someone, you can email or handwrite that special someone. [9] X Research Source Although you may be used to instant connection in today’s fast-paced society, writing a letter to your lover in this situation is really a great way to communicate convey feelings and opinions deeply—and they will receive an email or handwritten letter in time.
- You can also invite someone out to watch a movie, have dinner, or just hang out. If meeting close friends or family members, invite them to stay; sometimes it’s good to know someone is in the next room.
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Go out. One way to avoid loneliness at night is to get out of the house before bed. You don’t necessarily have to be outside until the sun comes up. Simply go out to the movies with friends, have dinner with your classmates, or have a drink with some girls in the office. [10] X Research Source
- You might not like going out if you’re feeling down or depressed, but that’s exactly what you need to do most. [11] X Research Sources Furthermore, once you get home, there will come a time when you’ll get into bed and don’t have much time to feel lonely anymore.
- If you’re really hesitant to go out try this: instead of thinking about what to do all night, tell your friends/group that you can meet them for a drink (or an appetizer, etc.) …), and then chances are you’ll have to go. In that case, you’ll most likely find that things turned out better than you expected—and maybe you’ll stay for another drink (or two).
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Join a group or pursue a new hobby. Adding an activity/class that you enjoy in the evening can clear the feeling of loneliness from your mind and help you have a few evenings on track. [12] X Research Source Although you may not find many groups that can meet at 2 a.m., you can engage in a variety of activities throughout the evening, such as yoga, tai chi, knitting and painting.
- Check out meetup.com to find a few people in your neighborhood who are interested in similar things and events happening around you. Who knows, you might meet someone who also struggles with feeling lonely at night. You can both spend time together, talk on the phone or Skype to deal with loneliness together.
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Return something. When we’re feeling down, it’s easy to focus all of our attention and energy on ourselves, which leads to increased negative feelings. Instead, if we focus on the outside, we can remove loneliness from our minds and do some good at the same time. [13] X Research Source
- Try volunteering at some of your local homeless shelters, animal shelters and shelters, or other places in need in your area. Time will pass when you play with or wash your pet, or attend some other charity event.
- Consider visiting the elderly and sick at a nursing home or local hospital. If your loved ones are there, visit them and take in the joy this visit brings. Sometimes, when you have a chance to realize how lucky you are, life will be less empty and boring. Maybe helping others will really boost your outlook on life.
Sleep When Alone
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Form a bedtime routine. [14] X Research Source Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day helps your body fall asleep faster and makes you less stressed when you go to bed. It can take a few weeks to form a new habit, so don’t worry if things don’t work out right away.
- Going to bed early while the noise is still outside can help you feel less alone. If you live alone, this method can help you feel comfortable because there are still a few other people making noise in the apartment or there are people on the street. [15] X Research Source
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Relax before bed. Take time to relax before bed. Limiting TV or phone use at least 20 minutes before bed will help the brain rest in the evening. [16] X Trusted Source Mind Go to Source
- Some other methods to help you calm down before bed include meditation, breathing exercises, visualization, and muscle relaxation in defined shapes. You can also try reading a book or magazine under small lights, playing a crossword puzzle, or listening to soft music. [17] X Trusted Source Mind Go to Source
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Don’t force yourself to sleep if you can’t. Trying to sleep when you can’t only increases anxiety and makes it hard to fall asleep. If you can’t sleep, get up, go to another room, and do something to relax. [18] X Research Source When the time comes, you will feel comfortable and ready to go back to bed.
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Knowledge of light. People often sleep better in the evening after being exposed to sunlight throughout the day. Also, limit the light level in the room when you sleep because having light will make it harder for you to fall asleep. [19] X Research Source
- If you have curtains to block out light (some curtains literally “hide” all light), consider buying a sleeping mask to cover your eyes. These are inexpensive and can be purchased at some drugstores and online.
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Don’t nap all day. If you break your daytime sleep routine, you’ll feel tired at night and fall asleep faster—and so you’ll have less time to feel lonely or stressed while sleeping. [20] X Research Source
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Add sound to the bedroom. You can add some kind of background music or noise that has multiple frequencies with roughly equal intensity. Many people like sounds from nature like waterfalls or rainforests.
- These sounds and the like should be available in the sound generator or on the app in phones, tablets and desktops.
- For those who are lonely while sleeping alone, the best way is to turn on the TV and turn the volume down. The sound of your voice can soothe you. If possible, angle the screen away from you to reduce light exposure from the TV. Lighting in the bedroom can cause sleep problems. [21] X Research Source
Advice
- A person can be alone without feeling lonely, and in many cases you can choose to be alone, for example when you want to read a book, take a lunch break, or watch your favorite TV show by yourself. However, loneliness often comes when you are alone and feel sad when no one is around. [22] X Research Source In this case, consciousness is very important. [23] X Research Sources
- Loneliness can affect obesity and blood pressure (up to 30 points), as well as lead to insomnia, so it’s important that you address persistent feelings of loneliness before they occur. become overloaded. [24] X Research Source
- About 10% of North Americans face chronic loneliness. [25] X Research Sources
- Everyone feels lonely sometimes, even when around other people. It is natural that we always have ups and downs in life. Don’t be too hard on yourself!
- Read a good book, or if you want something different, try watching some of your favorite movies or funny TV shows.
- Consider adopting a pet like a dog or a cat to help say goodbye to feeling lonely. [26] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
Warning
- Letting yourself wallow in loneliness for too long can lead to depression and helplessness, and they will only prolong your thoughts of loneliness. [27] X Research Sources If you’re starting to feel stuck by depression or feelings of helplessness, you should seek help from a therapist.
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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 22 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 14,921 times.
For those who sleep alone or live alone, spending hours in the evening is especially lonely. In fact, loneliness at night can affect anyone, making you feel sad or scared. While it’s important to acknowledge that you feel alone, you don’t have to try and endure all night in misery. There are some truly meaningful things you can do to make the night more fulfilling and enjoyable.
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