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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
This article has been viewed 3,594 times.
If you want to become a better person, you have to start improving yourself. Self-assessment and self-improvement are necessary before you can interact with others in a kind and compassionate way. If you want to be admired, you need to strive for self-improvement and connect with others with compassion and selflessness.
Steps
Self-improvement
- You can define that “good” means having integrity, trustworthiness, and honesty.
- Some people recognize kindness in humility, generosity, and benevolence.
- The ability to empathize with others and be non-judgmental is another way to be a good person.
- If the task of changing yourself is motivated by the opinions of others, it is easy to lose direction. You may find yourself serving the expectations of others instead of doing the right thing.
- It’s good to want to be a role model for others, especially for children. If you are a parent, the values you show will leave an impression on your child.
- To become more honest, you need to realize if you are living your values. For example, if you value environmental protection, does your lifestyle reflect that? Doing something like recycling, carpooling, saving water, etc., is a way to be true to the belief that protecting the environment is important. [1] X Research Source
- Accept yourself. Everyone knows they’re good at something and knows that some things don’t come easy. They have to deal with mistakes and not think about the reward for effort on the first try. People don’t have to be perfect to be good. Honest people are comfortable with the fact that they still have some weaknesses and strengths. They are also comfortable with having to try many times until they succeed.
- Don’t judge the people around you. Honest people tend not to compare others with themselves or some external standard. Genuine people truly accept others for who they are. Try to avoid judging friends, family members, and co-workers. [2] X Research Source
- If you feel inadequate, pursue activities that make you feel good about yourself. For example, if you are good at listening to others, you could volunteer at a nursing home and spend time talking to people. You will feel positive about doing good, matching skills.
- Talk to yourself in a positive way. When faced with a challenge, say to yourself, “I can do this.” When you do something good, congratulate yourself.
- It can be very difficult to improve self-esteem, especially if you have any pre-existing mental health problems affecting your self-perception. In this case, consider seeing a therapist or counselor to discuss the problem. You can find a therapist by asking your GP for a referral or looking online through your insurance company to find out which methods and consultants accept your plan. If you’re a student, you may be able to get free or discounted insurance through your college or university.
- Emotional regulation is a step-by-step process. First, admit that you are feeling angry or have other negative emotions. Notice the feel and give it a name. Think about what is causing the emotion. Take the time to evaluate how you feel, and how you want to handle it. Finally, choose to take an appropriate action. [3] X Research Sources
- Taking time to process emotions in this way creates the opportunity for healthy emotional behavior rather than impulsive reactions. For example, your daughter comes home after “curfew”. Instead of screaming in anger, take the time to process your anger and decide on a prudent course of action, like spending time talking about it the next day.
- Sometimes trauma and past abuse create emotions that can hinder the adjustment process. You find yourself having emotional outbursts that affect everyone around you. Try distraction to calm down, then make time for an inner dialogue, like, “It’s okay, I’m just having a bad day. It still happens sometimes. Tomorrow will be better”. It also helps to explain to the people around you: “I had a bad day and felt stressed and a little frustrated. I’ll calm down first, then we can talk when I feel better.”
- Forgiveness is important to being a good person. Forgiving others and yourself for past mistakes can release feelings of resentment, doubt, and anger that may be affecting behavior in the present.
- If you have trouble forgiving, and tend to hold grudges, talk to a therapist about how to let go of past resentments. Yoga encourages spiritually present living and is also rewarding in learning how to forgive. [4] X Research Sources
- Mental health check. It’s hard to be nice to others when you’re having a hard time taking care of yourself. If you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or any other psychological problem, seek help from a trained mental health professional. Mental stability can help you be a better person to the people around you.
- Coping with your current addiction. Addiction/Addiction can be physical (smoking, drinking, drugs) or emotional (video games, internet). Either way, it can be difficult to foster meaningful relationships and earn admiration and respect when you’re struggling with addiction. There are a variety of self-assessment tests online to see if you have symptoms of addiction. If so, you should seek help from a specialist. There are also a few support groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous and Quit Smoking Anonymous, which have centers in several communities across the country that can help you cope with addiction.
- Curb stress levels. If you’re a person who gets stressed easily, you can influence the people around you without even realizing it. If you worry too much about your own problems and problems, you may inadvertently ignore or dismiss the needs of others. Meditation, therapy, exercise, and talking with a therapist or counselor can all help you manage your stress levels. [5] X Research Sources
Interact with people
- To be an effective listener, practice active listening. Instead of thinking about what you will respond to, really listen and care when someone is speaking. Support them by nodding and asking questions.
- Try to understand the situation about the world around. People tend to be impressed by those who know the facts and have knowledge. Read newspapers, magazines, and newspapers online. Follow the current event. You don’t have to have strong political views of your own, but having a point for the current conversation is important for credibility. [6] X Research Sources
- Use body language to convey confidence. Maintain eye contact with others. Stand up straight. Nod and respond to what the other person is saying to convey care and understanding. During the conversation, ask about the other person. People are attracted to those who truly care about others around them. [7] X Research Sources
- Practice good storytelling skills. People often admire people who can tell good stories, so try to amuse others with humorous personal stories. Listening to radio programs can be helpful for good storytelling. [8] X Research Sources
- Practice being honest with others in action, even if you’ve made a mistake. For example, you may miss a deadline at work without blaming lack of sleep, stress, or another factor. Simply step up and say, “I wasn’t paying attention and screwed up. Next time I’ll work harder.” [9] X Research Source
- Being honest even if it might hurt someone else’s feelings isn’t always easy, but there is a way to do it without causing hurt. Adjust feedback constructively. For example, if someone asks you for your opinion on a new shirt and you think it doesn’t look good, you could say, “That’s not the shirt I like you to wear. Let me show you the shirt I’m wearing. What do you like to wear the most?” [10] X Research Source
- However, don’t give unsolicited advice. This often happens when preaching and people are often not receptive. Especially when faced with a sensitive issue, like someone’s weight, job, or relationship status, it’s best to keep the options to yourself, unless someone specifically asks you to. . [11] X Research Source
- If you’re invited to a party, bring something to share. A snack or drink will show the host that you appreciate the invitation. Even if you know what dish will be served, bringing the dish will show goodwill. [12] X Research Source
- When out with friends, offer to buy drinks or drive.
- If a friend is having a rough day, it helps to give them a small gift like making a card or a cupcake.
- Giving is not always a form of material gift giving. You can use your time. For example, take an hour to visit friends in the hospital or stop by a family member’s home if they are going through a serious breakup. Sometimes, just being around someone with positive energy helps.
- Volunteering is a great way to contribute to the community. Try to find a case you’re interested in and can contribute to. For example, if you are an avid reader, volunteer to read to children and the elderly at a hospital, nursing home, or daycare. If you like animals, find out if your local animal shelter needs volunteers. [13] X Research Source
- Donating money is also helpful, but you can increase the intensity by raising funds. Volunteer to call past donors on behalf of an organization you are interested in. Participate in fundraising activities such as charity dinners, auctions, marathons and more. [14] X Research Source
- You can also proactively help on a small scale. Pay attention to your neighborhood. If the neighbors are elderly, volunteer to help them rake leaves or clear the driveway in the winter. If your neighbor has kids, offer to babysit for free once in a while. If someone in the building loses a family member, visit them with casseroles and homemade pasta to help relieve the pressure during the grieving process. [15] X Research Source
Advice
- Always be polite to others. Even if you get frustrated, try to talk to people calmly and politely.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
This article has been viewed 3,594 times.
If you want to become a better person, you have to start improving yourself. Self-assessment and self-improvement are necessary before you can interact with others in a kind and compassionate way. If you want to be admired, you need to strive for self-improvement and connect with others with compassion and selflessness.
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