How to Write a Letter to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

If you want to establish a formal relationship with the girl you like, writing a letter asking her to be your girlfriend is a really sweet idea. If you don’t know how to start or want some ideas on how to phrase it, we’re here to help. We’ll start with the specifics of what to say and how to make your intentions clear, then we’ll talk about how to make your letter look special.

Table of Contents

Start with a sweet greeting

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Start with “Dear you” or “Dear baby”. If you find this greeting too dry or outdated, use a nickname or pet name to sound sweeter. Don’t be afraid to be a little mushy. You want her to feel special and loved by you from the start. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If you’re not sure how to write it, don’t hesitate in this section! Just write “Dear Van” is fine.

Use a natural voice but not too casual

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If you are too casual, the letter is no longer special or sincere. Asking someone to be your girlfriend is a big deal! Try to refine the sentence to express that intention. You don’t have to be perfect, but when writing, remember that this is a special time. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Avoid using slang, abbreviations, and jargon throughout the letter. You should also pay attention to grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
For example, instead of writing “What are you doing honey? It’s freezing cold out here,” you should write, “Have a great day. I’m fine, but I miss you so much.”
Instead of saying “Hi! Miss you all day. I’m going to die,” you should say, “Hope you’re doing well! I miss you so much and can’t stop thinking about you.”

Write that you have something special to tell her

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Writing letters is quite rare these days, so briefly explain why you are writing. Don’t surprise her with a big question, just give her a brief explanation. Maybe it’s easier to write a letter to express your feelings than to say it directly, or you’re so far apart that you want her to have something tangible on your part. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If you’re too embarrassed to suggest it directly, you can write so! Be honest with her.

Explain clearly your feelings for her

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This is your chance to make her feel loved and special in your eyes. Explain how attractive she is and what she means to you. What personality do you love about her? Are there any special memories you can mention? Don’t worry about writing everything perfectly; write words from your heart. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

You can make a list to avoid rambling. That way, you can compare the list as you write to avoid missing points.
You can say “I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world”, or “I love your sense of humour. You make me laugh every day.”
Do you both like the same song? You can quote a poem or song lyrics if you have trouble choosing words.

Ask her to be your girlfriend explicitly and directly

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If you are vague, she may not understand what you mean. Move on to this part of the letter by writing something like this, “There are reasons why you are so special to me. If you feel the same way, would you agree to be my girlfriend?” Make sure this question clearly states what you mean and isn’t confusing. ^{[5] X Research Sources} Here are a few other options:

“You’re the only girl I like. Do you agree to be my girlfriend?”
“I think we are the perfect couple. Will you be my girlfriend?”
“I know we have feelings for each other, but I want us to have a formal relationship. Do you agree to be my girlfriend?”

Make it clear that you need an answer

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You definitely need a yes or no answer to this question. Let her know it’s okay to think about the offer, but don’t keep you waiting indefinitely. She can reply by mail, call, text, or email – whichever way she wants. You can even suggest a specific date for her to respond to. ^{[6] X Research Source} Try writing the following:

“I understand you need time to think. I’ll call you next Monday and hope you answer me.”

Write a closing sentence to put her at ease

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So that she doesn’t get pressured, say she can turn down your offer. If you want to stay friends no matter what she decides, say it now. Emphasize that regardless of whether she agrees or not, you understand and want her to be honest with you.

Sign at the end of the letter

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Write your full name if the two of you are not too close. If you don’t sign it, she may not know who sent the letter. If you’ve liked her for a while and she knows this, you probably don’t need to write her full name. If in school there are many people with the same name as you, you should add the last name to be safe. Some options for you to end the message:

“Sincerely, Dinh Cuong”
“Hello, Tuan”
“I will always love you, Dung” ^{[7] X Research source}

Read the letter carefully and correct the mistakes

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Put the letter away and read it again the next day to clear your mind. You shouldn’t make spelling or grammar mistakes! You should temporarily put the letter away and then take it out and read it one last time. All details are fine, right? Have you explained it well? ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Reading the letter yourself can help you spot mistakes and awkward-sounding passages.

Handwritten to make the letter more special

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Handwritten letters can move the reader, and are often stored and cherished. Emails and typed letters are not comparable to handwritten letters. To make the letter more special, you should choose lettering paper or card paper and ink pen. These little details may not matter, but she will notice. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Unless your handwriting is very bad, it’s probably best to avoid typing/printing your letter. Computer fonts cannot contain emotions like handwriting. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Write an email if the two of you go online often

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This is probably the best option if you two know each other online or email each other often. Carefully composed emails also make a lot of sense. Even though email isn’t as physical as a paper letter, she can still save it and read it as many times as she wants. Plus, the message will get to her faster if it’s sent by email. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Send letters by post to increase uniqueness

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Write the address carefully, stamp it and send it off. Double-check everything on the letter to make sure she gets it. If she lives far away from you, like in a foreign country, go directly to the post office to send the letter. Ask the postal worker to weigh the mail to know the amount to be paid. ^{[12] X Research Source}

You probably don’t need to fill out a customs form, but you should ask the post office to be sure.

Send the mail yourself if you don’t want to wait long

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If you send the letter yourself, you know for sure she received it and hope for a quicker response. This letter is for her only, so you need to send it to her home or put it in her drawer so no one can read it. You shouldn’t pass it on to her in class as a mere text message. Furthermore, what if the letter is confiscated by the teacher? It’s a shame isn’t it! ^{[13] X Research Source}

Steps