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How To Let Someone Go

February 10, 2024 by admin Category: How To

You are viewing the article How To Let Someone Go  at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.

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This article was co-written by Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.

This article has been viewed 5,823 times.

Every morning you wake up, you are a different person. What worked for you yesterday may not help you today. Although you may find it hard to believe, forgetting someone is the best solution for who you are right now. Whether it’s a loved one that’s passed away, you’ve just gone through a breakup, you need to get over someone you like, or you no longer feel in tune with a friend, letting that person go Your life is the next step towards happiness, because your happiness is the most important thing. Let’s take a look at Step 1.

Table of Contents

  • Steps
    • Forget Your Ex
    • Giving up a One-sided Love
    • Forgetting a Dead Relative
    • Leaving a Harmful Friendship
  • Advice

Steps

Forget Your Ex

Image titled Accept Being Disliked Step 1

Image titled Accept Being Disliked Step 1

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Let yourself be felt. First, mourning is good. Sensitivity is good. Crying is good. Anger is also a good thing. No matter how you feel, it’s normal and needs to be released. After the emotional hiding phase has ended, the process can begin. But the process of giving up on a person is certainly a sequential process, and the emotional hiding stage (also known as the “crying while eating the whole jar of ice cream” phase or the “dyeing your hair” phase). strange colors that don’t suit the working environment”) must happen first.Let’s just let it happen.

  • The first thing you feel will likely be a feeling of denial, followed by anger. At first you may not accept this as real and once you do, the words and words will create feelings of helplessness and pain. Instead of tormenting yourself about the breakup and how you coped with it, remember that this is how things are supposed to be. Those feelings are a part of you. You are not crazy, nor are you useless. You are just an ordinary human being.
Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 24

Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 24

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Don’t embellish the past. You may find yourself recalling the wonderful moments you two had together. You will recall them as a lost memory when lying in bed alone. But if that person comes back to you, 10 minutes later you’ll be thinking, “Yes. That ‘s why it didn’t work.” It’s hard to remember bad things when your emotions are so intense. Remember that if you are sadly recalling great memories, you are not seeing the problem realistically.

  • If you need science to back up that claim, remember that emotions have been shown to affect memory. So if you are desperately looking for good things, your mind can make new changes to meet your current expectations. [1] X Research Source Simply put, your memory is wearing pink prisms to respond to your current thought process.
Image titled Ask a Girl for a Kiss Step 1

Image titled Ask a Girl for a Kiss Step 1

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Isolate yourself as much as possible. “Give up” is an understatement to avoid forgetting or not caring anymore. This phrase sounds a bit harsh, and that’s why it has a more pleasant name. So, isolating yourself from that person is the only way you can quickly forget. Do you remember that shirt you found in the corner of your closet that made you say, “God, I love this shirt! Why didn’t I realize it was forgotten?” That’s right, far away from the heart.

  • Certainly for a lot of people, this is easier said than done. However, you can try to limit the amount of time you spend face-to-face with the person. Use this as an excuse to find a new passion, a cool place, or a new group of friends to ask out every once in a while. Don’t change your life for that person, but also try to think of the best for yourself.
Image titled Attract an Older Boy Step 11

Image titled Attract an Older Boy Step 11

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Don’t lower yourself. Once you’ve gotten angry and sworn to yourself that you’ll never be that stupid again, you may end up spending days, weeks, or an endless amount of time wondering where you went wrong and feeling like you’ve gone wrong. wandering through the misty fog. You may crave to be inactive, but you cannot do so. You must not do so, for your own sake. To make your world a better place, you need to keep moving forward.

  • This is when you do all you need to do. At this point, yourself is the first priority. Do whatever makes you happy (that doesn’t hurt, of course). Just party and enjoy. If you can’t talk to your friends because someone stole her ham sandwich at work, leave it alone. You need time to be selfish. The “mantra” for you right now is “me, me, me”. Why? Because you are awesome.
Image titled Be a Sweet, Sexy and Irresistible Guy Step 9

Image titled Be a Sweet, Sexy and Irresistible Guy Step 9

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Don’t blame it all on people. You will get through this stage quickly (at which point the “me, me, me” phase needs to be replaced by the “me, you, me, you” phase) and the last thing you want is to hate the whole world. Being frustrated and criticizing doesn’t mean you’re “learning from experience” but more like giving up. Try to see the good in everyone. Those points are always present in them, only sometimes they are hidden.

  • Not all men are scum and not all women are evil. You may have a tendency to attract scum and sinister people, but that should stop there. Look closely at the people around you – how many different types of people can you find? Definitely a lot. That’s why people are so diverse.
Image titled Cope With Anger Step 7

Image titled Cope With Anger Step 7

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Stop negative thoughts. What’s interesting about your soul is that those thoughts are part of who you are and can be controlled. If negative thoughts start to appear, you have the power to stop them. The thought you just started can end in an instant. Sometimes you’ll need a few tricks, but it’s completely doable.

  • Speak your negative thoughts in the voice of a cartoon character, such as Donald Duck. Try saying “I hate myself for being so stupid” in the duck’s voice. Wouldn’t it be hard for you to take that thought seriously?
  • Try to keep your head up. When you hold your head high, your body will be reminded that you are present and full of pride. When you lower your head, your shame center will be activated and you will feel worse. This small movement can have a huge impact.
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Image titled Be Best Friends With Your Adult Daughter Step 2

Image titled Be Best Friends With Your Adult Daughter Step 2

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Find friends. The best people you can count on right now are your “network” of supportive friends. They will help you forget everything and move on. Don’t be afraid to ask them for help because they may have been in the same situation you are now.

  • Ask them to help you not wallow in sadness. Sure, you need to talk about your feelings, but only for a limited time. Ask them to listen to you for about 15 minutes, but after that, you don’t have to make pointless analyzes and regrets. They will help keep you from drowning in your pain.
Image titled Become Sexually Confident (for Women) Step 10

Image titled Become Sexually Confident (for Women) Step 10

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Find out who you are and learn to love it. The truth is that you are amazing and this is only a small disadvantage. It’s likely that you’ve been in this emotional state before and got over it, so why not this time? If you have recovered once, you can also recover a second time. You have very good resilience, you just forget about it. Just keep living and you’ll forget.

  • When you stop moving on with your life, you won’t be able to forget. When you really live (seeking opportunities, enjoying life, doing the things you love, and being with the people you love), you will automatically give up without even realizing it. Think about who you are before this. What do you love? What made you who you are now? How wonderful were you?

Giving up a One-sided Love

Image titled Accept Being Disliked Step 8

Image titled Accept Being Disliked Step 8

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Evaluate your standards. Obviously this person never respected you when you shined in the first place, so they’re not worth your time. Not “Are they worth your time?” or “Maybe they’re not worth your time,” without a doubt, they’re not worth your time at all. You deserve someone who understands you, sees your values, and wants to be an active part of your life. You can ignore those who do not meet this standard.

  • Take some time to focus on self-awareness. Look at yourself objectively. Do you find the relationship safe because it’s not real? Does this relationship guarantee that you will never get hurt because there are no strings attached? If these are partly true, the problem lies with you , not the other person. They are just symbols for your ideas.
Image titled Accept Being Disliked Step 14

Image titled Accept Being Disliked Step 14

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Rate your happiness. Whether you are the third person or this is just an intense crush, are you happy to be with this person? Chances are that reality won’t be the same relationship you envisioned in your head. How much of this relationship is real and how much is just wishful thinking, hope, and conjecture?

  • It’s clear that this relationship doesn’t meet your needs, or that you don’t have a need to give up. Let’s admit that. Understand it well. This relationship doesn’t meet your needs, but another might. The important thing is that in order to find the other relationship, you need to let go of this relationship. This is why you read this article! Step 1? Complete.
Image titled Attract an Older Boy Step 2

Image titled Attract an Older Boy Step 2

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Do not wait. Life is too short to start living in this moment. That person is also adjusting to the outside world, so why not do the same? It’s also fair. This doesn’t mean you should immediately pursue another relationship, but you need to socialize and try to enjoy life to the fullest.

  • Don’t wait in the hope that things will change. You will have to wait a long time. In general, the best way to predict your behavior in the future is to look at your past behaviors. Since actions in the past broke your heart, why should actions in the future make any difference? That’s right, there’s no difference.
  • Chances are you’re also somewhat aware of all of this. You know that this relationship isn’t going to be the best for you and understand why you should move on (this is, after all, why you’re reading this line.) Even if that part of your awareness is meager. Wherever you go, let it control for a few hours a day. Let that awareness protect you from suffering. That awareness helps you understand the things you need to do to feel better, like a night out drinking with the girls, a daily hike, or a vacation you still plan to take. Whatever the activity is, it needs to be memorized.
Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 3

Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 3

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Keep a realistic distance. Once you’ve decided to keep a psychological distance, you should also keep a physical distance. The only way you can stop torturing yourself is when that person isn’t around. If you can control this (i.e. they’re not a co-worker), then do it. The abandonment process will happen much faster.

  • Don’t use this as an excuse to stay home instead of going to school, going to the gym, or hanging out with friends. However, this could be a reason for you to adjust your habits. Do you always go to the same coffee shop? Find a new restaurant. Do you often go to a certain gym? Let’s go another time. You might even develop a whole new hobby!
Image titled Be Tperant of Others Step 4

Image titled Be Tperant of Others Step 4

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Be clear. If this person is in your life, they will ask. It won’t do you any good to come up with some silly excuses to justify avoiding them because eventually the truth will come out.

  • No one can stage the situation but you. However, no one can deny a saying like “I need some time for myself to assess what is best for me”. If they don’t like it, then you have even more reason to give up.
Image titled Be Friends with Boys Step 13

Image titled Be Friends with Boys Step 13

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Don’t torment yourself. This failure is not your fault. This is life. It happens to everyone and you know what? You will learn from that. You learned from the previous breakup and got over it this time too. You did nothing wrong. At that point, believe that what you do is right. That’s all you need to do.

  • Wishing that we had done something different, acted differently, or said something different doesn’t work. You’re already yourself and if things don’t go your way, nothing else matters. Changing yourself is an exhausting process that only leads to hatred and burnout. It’s stupid to beat yourself up for who you are. Who are you if not yourself?
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Image titled Attract an Older Boy Step 20

Image titled Attract an Older Boy Step 20

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Focus on yourself. It’s time to invest time in “me”. This is not only for yourself but for all your future relationships. If you do not dig deep and do not define who you are, you will not be able to succeed at anything. It’s not that you’re being selfish, it’s just that you’re acting rationally.

  • What do you like? Think of at least 5 things and do them for the next 2 weeks. Eventually, there will come a time when you give up without even realizing it. You will be too busy thinking about the life you are living that you will not notice. However, a few months after realizing this, you will feel extremely good.

Forgetting a Dead Relative

Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 20

Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 20

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Practice letting go of regrets. When a loved one dies, you are suddenly attacked by things that should have been said or done or actions and words that we regret. Those nostalgia can’t be done, and wallowing in them makes you even more miserable. Is that person going to want you to have fun?

  • Regrets require you to forgive yourself. Unfortunately, there are no guidelines for self-forgiveness, but the only thing you can do is remember that you are human. You are human and you have loved to the best of your ability. Now is the time to focus on the present.
Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 20

Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 20

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Sad. The 5 stages of grief include denial, anger, negotiation, depression, and acceptance, in that order. However, keep in mind that each person’s way of expressing pain is different . You need to do it, whether it’s curling up in a corner with a teddy bear or going for a run until your leg hurts, just do it. After a while you will feel better.

  • Anyone else’s preconceptions about how to express grief are meaningless. If you want to deal with it, then do it. As long as you still care about yourself and others (but not the way to drugs, alcohol and the like), either way is fine.
Image titled Be Respectful of Your Family Step 7

Image titled Be Respectful of Your Family Step 7

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Don’t grieve alone. At this time, you and the people around you need to get close to each other. Sometimes, when you express your pain to others, you won’t feel like you’re in pain anymore. The joint efforts of everyone can speed up the healing time.

  • If you find that no one else is going through pain but yourself, the presence of others helps a lot. Someone by your side holding your hand will remind you that you are not alone, that everything will be okay. Seek help from anyone around you.
Image titled Be Expressive Step 10

Image titled Be Expressive Step 10

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Reconnect with yourself. At some point, there is a version of you that exists independent of this relationship. And this version is still available. You just need to find your old self again. With just a little adjustment, this person will be “as good as new”.

  • Reconnect with people and things from your past. What used to excite you? What makes you feel full of life? What activities have you always wished you had time or energy to participate in? And the last and most important question: What better time to do them than now?
Image titled Avoid Letting Pessimistic People Get You Down Step 12

Image titled Avoid Letting Pessimistic People Get You Down Step 12

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Look towards the future. The only reason the future is dark is because you are looking at it with negative eyes. The future still promises many things like 6 weeks ago, 6 months or 6 years ago. What matters is what you will gain from the future. Instead of dwelling on the past, think about the future. What will the future bring?

  • When you cling to the past, you will have no room to hold on to the future. You can miss the whole world out there. Does your loved one want the same? To find love, you must give and receive. You can’t do anything if your hands are still busy holding onto the past.
Image titled Be Okay with Being You Step 3

Image titled Be Okay with Being You Step 3

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Write a positive goodbye letter to close the past. Write all the things you never said in the letter. Keep the letter positive, focusing on their life and the joy they bring to you.

  • It is up to you to choose how to handle this letter. You can keep it somewhere close to your heart, float it in the ocean waves or light it on fire and watch the smoke rise into the sky.
Image titled Attract an Older Boy Step 14

Image titled Attract an Older Boy Step 14

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Remember that you will definitely “give up”. It will definitely work, no doubt about it. It is surely that. The only word that applies in this case is “definitely”. Some people may take longer than others, but you’ll forget. Until then, rest and let time heal all wounds.

  • When the process of giving up begins, you may not even notice. You will change and grow so much that your eyes will no longer look back at the person in the past. Perhaps that time is now. Maybe you’ve already started that process and are so close to your goal that you’re not even aware of it yourself. Is it possible? The question is so stupid. Yes, that’s for sure!

Leaving a Harmful Friendship

Image titled Comfort a Man Step 1

Image titled Comfort a Man Step 1

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Make this process as positive as possible. “Nothing is simply good or bad, it is determined by thought.” The friendship you’re about to give up doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It is a symbol of growth and maturity. It shows the world that you’ve found your own path and that person can’t be with you. That’s all. It’s not that you’re abandoning others or adamantly uncompromising, it’s just that you’re doing what you should.

  • Every experience and every relationship has its own value. However, some people should only be part of our memories, not our destiny. And that’s totally fine! Each one has its own characteristics. Cherish the experiences you’ve had because they helped you grow and become the amazing person you are today.
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Image titled Convince Your Parents to Let You Spend the Night Step 11

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Be with other people. This friendship is turning you into the person you don’t want to be (and yes, friendship has the power to do that). Toxic friendships can drain your energy and negatively affect other aspects of your life. The only way to deal with this is to gradually integrate into another group that makes you feel better.

  • If you don’t have a backup plan, you will eventually. You may need to go find a plan. This can be very difficult, but if it’s too easy it won’t be worth doing. Join a club, take a class, pick up a new hobby. Allow yourself to be part of a larger world. The bigger the world, the less influence this person has on you.
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Image titled Communicate With Your Spouse Step 10

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Please be nice. When you are friends with a parasite, often that person will not know that he is a parasite. Don’t get angry outbursts, after all, the two of you were friends for a reason. Somehow you still care about this person. When they ask you what’s wrong, be honest but be “nice”.

  • If you don’t know what to say, tell them what you keep telling yourself. “We have different paths and that’s normal. I still respect you, but our friendship is based on who I was in the past, not who I am now. Your actions make me feel like I’m not. I’m frustrated and I don’t want to suffer any more.” They will have many questions and may be angry, but in the end, you need to go no matter what they do.
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Image titled Confront Someone Who Has Been Gossiping About You Step 14

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Create distance for yourself. When something is taken away, sometimes people want it even more. This friend may start calling more often than before. Even if they swear that they have realized the mistake in their actions, don’t be so quick to believe it. You need some time to analyze yourself, consider and see the real situation.

  • And they need to do the same. If they want to talk about it, tell them. You both need time apart to learn what it’s like to be apart. You need to step back a little to see the whole picture. If after a few weeks you feel like seeing them again and so do they, take it slow. Sometimes people also know how to learn to learn from experience.
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Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 21

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Know what you’re looking for in future friends. It would be bad to abandon a friend and replace them with a copy of them. So when it comes to finding a new group of great friends, what do you want them to be? What do you value in them?

  • You also need to analyze yourself. What do you like about that friend that makes you two close? What do you need from them but they cannot provide? What three qualities should your friends have?
  • Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 15

    Image titled Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong Step 15

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    Focus only on the things that can be changed. This friend is also an independent individual, so you can’t change them no matter how hard you try, and that’s completely normal. Everyone is unique and it’s not anyone’s fault. But because of the nature of the so-called “easy to change nature, difficult to move”, don’t try to put your energy into it. Focus on the things you can change to make yourself happier.

    • Your living environment may change. Your opinion may change. Your needs may change. Focus on one of those things as you begin to change and grow. When you are in tune with who you are, you will see a lot more clearly the right path you have to follow.
  • Advice

    • Either way, you need to trust and love yourself. Understand that everything happens for a reason, and in our lives, people always come and go, so don’t suffer for the rest of your life. You also need to remember that somewhere someone new is waiting for you.
    • Giving up doesn’t always mean letting them leave you. Giving up also means being with them, caring for them but not letting them drain you, hurt you, or not allow you to live your own life.
    • You will always find it painful to recall old memories, but there will come a time when you have to clean out your closet, put away your photos because “one door closes, another door opens”.
    • Give yourself time to grieve after the loss of a loved one, then start walking down a new path that the two of you have never walked. Make new friends and do new things that excite you. Starting a new life on your own may be difficult at first, but this new path can give you a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.
    • Remember that there is no set amount of time for you to grieve . Don’t feel guilty if you want to have dinner with someone 4 or 6 months after your spouse’s death. Everyone has their own way and time needed to start a new life. You need to live on for your loved ones, and the time and way of living is entirely up to you and how you feel.
    • Playing a sport or taking up a hobby will keep you busy and forget what reminds you of them.
    X

    This article was co-written by Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.

    This article has been viewed 5,823 times.

    Every morning you wake up, you are a different person. What worked for you yesterday may not help you today. Although you may find it hard to believe, forgetting someone is the best solution for who you are right now. Whether it’s a loved one that’s passed away, you’ve just gone through a breakup, you need to get over someone you like, or you no longer feel in tune with a friend, letting that person go Your life is the next step towards happiness, because your happiness is the most important thing. Let’s take a look at Step 1.

    Thank you for reading this post How To Let Someone Go at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.

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