You are viewing the article How to Deal with a Cheating Spouse at Tnhelearning.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.
This article was co-written by Cherlyn Chong. Cherlyn Chong is a dating and breakup recovery consultant for successful women who want to get over their ex and find love again. She is also an official expert at dating app The League, and her work has been featured on AskMen, Business Insider, Reuters and HuffPost.
This article has been viewed 47,199 times.
Dealing with an unfaithful spouse is probably one of the hardest things you have to do. How to settle things smoothly, perhaps there is no suitable answer to this question. All you can do is talk to your spouse, listen to yourself, and decide whether to save the relationship. If you decide to handle the matter well, take it one step at a time and remember to take care of yourself.
Steps
Know what not to do
- Yes, you must be at fault to some extent and have to admit it. But you should never assume that your fault is the cause of your spouse’s infidelity.
- If you focus too much on blaming yourself, you will unknowingly let the other person off the hook. So you also have to focus on how they behave.
- When a spouse has an affair, a third person is rarely the cause of the problem. Unless your spouse believes that he/she really has had a meaningful relationship with a third person, in most cases, adultery is the betrayer’s way of expressing dissatisfaction with the other person. yourself or with your marriage. If you focus too much on the third person, you won’t be able to think about your spouse or your relationship.
- While knowing a few things about the affair may put you at ease, you shouldn’t know too much about them, such as what they look like, what they do, or any other information. can distract you or make you feel bad about yourself. It’s simply not worth knowing.
- What made them decide to cheat on you can be very absurd. So you don’t need to spend too much time figuring out a perfect excuse for their betrayal, you should instead find a way to move on with your life.
- After telling people about your problem, you may feel relief at first, but then pain and regret. Maybe you don’t realize you’re not ready to accept people’s advice or judgment.
- If you want to let close friends know about your spouse’s infidelity, be sure to do so cautiously when you’re not sure what you want to do. If your friends think you definitely have to leave the traitor, they’ll tell you a thousand things they don’t like about her/him, and it doesn’t really make you feel better, later on. can make you feel embarrassed if you choose to stay married.
- Talking to someone close to you will definitely help you gain strength, as well as a new perspective on your situation. In the end, getting their input can never replace your own.
- Immediately deciding not to see each other for a while can be a good thing, but you shouldn’t say you want a divorce as soon as you hear the news; Even if it’s what you really want in your heart, wait until your mind is clear before you make a definitive decision.
- Punishing your spouse will only make you feel more bitter, and the relationship will increasingly come to a dead end. You may be able to avoid seeing them for a while, being more cold and aloof than usual, but being intentionally cruel won’t solve the problem.
Take the first steps
- Let your partner know what they need to do for you to continue the marriage. This could be going to a mediator together or going alone, taking sustainable steps to rediscover the things you both enjoy doing together, spending time talking each night, or Sleep separately until you feel comfortable sharing a room.
- If you’re planning on getting a divorce, hire an attorney as soon as possible. The sooner you do this, the better your bargaining position will be.
- You won’t be able to forgive them or feel like things went back to normal overnight. It may take months or even years for you to rebuild trust.
- You also have to take things slowly. It may take days for you to feel comfortable sharing a bed with your spouse, going out to dinner with them, or doing the things you both enjoy doing together. Be mentally prepared for that.
- If you’re nervous about confronting your spouse or afraid of not being able to say everything you want to say, you can write down what you want to share. That way you won’t get lost and forget what’s important to say.
- If you’re too emotional to talk about what happened, wait a few days or so to talk openly and honestly about it. Of course, the conversation will probably never turn out to be completely pleasant, but it’s a good idea to take some time to regain your balance if you need to. That said, you shouldn’t put off this talk for too long.
- Ask questions that help you better visualize the situation of your marriage. However, you should avoid questions just to satisfy curiosity, because the answer can hurt you badly.
- Having experienced this, they will also understand the seriousness of their actions. Having them sleep with someone else while also sleeping with you puts you at risk, and it’s important for them to admit it.
- It’s not fair to assume that she/he doesn’t have the right to speak her mind, or to be emotional in all of this. Even though you’re not ready to face their feelings yet, you have to let her/him talk about how they feel if you want both of you to move forward.
- When you’re ready, make a point of meeting each other every day, setting aside all distractions, and discussing the state of the relationship. If you find this tiring and only recalling old feelings, you should talk more about the present and the future, avoiding the past.
- It is important that you both pay attention to each other to know the other’s feelings. This is a time of caution and the two of you must focus on your relationship. If you don’t communicate well, it’s very difficult for the relationship to progress.
- Try to express your feelings in sentences with the subject of “the speaker” such as “I feel sad when you don’t say hello to me after coming home from work”, instead of using sentences with the subject of “listener” such as ” I never noticed you when I got home from work”, because that way of saying it gives off a feeling of accusation.
- After giving them enough time to think, if you’ve talked to them, expressed your feelings, and heard their side of the story, then you can decide whether to save your marriage.
- If you decide to forgive them, you have to work hard. If you think this relationship cannot be saved, it’s time to go through the divorce proceedings. With this decision you should consider the laws of your country and/or state – laws can vary greatly depending on where you live.
Rebuilding the relationship
- This thought scares you because it is likely that you will need a long time to find the answer. But if your heart is telling you something, you better listen.
- Be honest with your spouse about this. Don’t be vague about whether you accept forgiveness or not. Let them know you really want to rebuild the relationship.
- You can explore a new activity together, like hiking or cooking. This will help you have a new perspective on married life. However, you have to make sure that the other party doesn’t have to suffer or try too hard to participate in the activity.
- Try to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep every night. If you can’t sleep because you’re uncomfortable lying next to your spouse, don’t hesitate to discuss alternative sleeping arrangements.
- Try to eat three healthy meals a day. Although you’re more likely to be tempted by unhealthy foods due to stress, like foods high in sugar, you should try to maintain a healthy diet to keep your spirits up. High-fat foods can make you feel sluggish.
- Exercise for at least 30 minutes every day. This time is good for mental and physical health, it is a time when you can be alone and not think about your spouse cheating.
- Write diary. Try to journal at least a few times per week to connect with your thoughts.
- Do not isolate yourself. Spend more time with friends and family to feel like you’re still being cared for.
- If this is important to you, make it clear to your spouse that consulting a counselor is required. Since they have violated your trust, they will do this for you.
- If you plan to end this marriage, you should not let them use your children to convince you to continue the relationship. They may argue that children will be happier if both parents are at home, which is not true if parents are always fighting or no longer care about each other.
- Make time for your children, even if you are busy dealing with this difficult situation. Being with your children also makes you stronger.
- Don’t get mad at yourself if you feel like you can’t forgive them. You tried, but it was your spouse who violated your trust first.
- If you can go on with your life without them, don’t be ashamed to have “give up”. You’ve made the best choice for your relationship and family, and no one can judge that decision.
Advice
- Sometimes you can look at your spouse’s phone and pick out one or two unknown numbers, then call those numbers with another number to see who answers.
- It’s very likely that the third person’s number won’t be in the contacts list, so you won’t be able to tell who the number belongs to.
Warning
- Do not act jealously so that they think you are following any information, or that you are speculating from something very normal. You should ask straightforward questions at first.
- When talking to them, you should not appear to be curious, because the story will be turned in another direction and you will not be able to find out the truth.
This article was co-written by Cherlyn Chong. Cherlyn Chong is a dating and breakup recovery consultant for successful women who want to get over their ex and find love again. She is also an official expert at dating app The League, and her work has been featured on AskMen, Business Insider, Reuters and HuffPost.
This article has been viewed 47,199 times.
Dealing with an unfaithful spouse is probably one of the hardest things you have to do. How to settle things smoothly, perhaps there is no suitable answer to this question. All you can do is talk to your spouse, listen to yourself, and decide whether to save the relationship. If you decide to handle the matter well, take it one step at a time and remember to take care of yourself.
Thank you for reading this post How to Deal with a Cheating Spouse at Tnhelearning.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.
Related Search: