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This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 24,546 times.
There’s a very awkward situation you need to deal with, and that is figuring out if a coworker has feelings for you. Not only will you get mixed signals from your crush, but you may not even know how to respond appropriately due to the rules of the office environment. However, there are many ways to know if your coworker likes you. By assessing how to communicate non-verbally and directly with your partner, you will be able to understand their true feelings.
Steps
Evaluate non-verbal communication
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Observe how the other person treats your personal space. You need to pay attention to how your partner reacts to your personal space. If a coworker likes you, they’ll probably approach you more often than if they didn’t develop feelings for you.
- Does the other person approach you gently and comfortably? Perhaps they want to be friends with you or show their affection for you.
- Notice if the coworker walks into your personal space and touches your shoulder, strokes your hair, touches or pats you on the arm, or bumps into you multiple times?
- Always notice how they treat the people around you before making judgments about whether someone has a crush on you.
- Be careful not to confuse people who like you with “people who like to stand close to other people when talking” or people who do not understand or do not know how to respect personal space.
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See if your partner often finds an excuse to appear next to you. An effective non-verbal way to tell if a coworker likes you is to gauge whether they’re trying to get around you. If so, it could be a sign that they are interested in you.
- If someone doesn’t have a practical or beneficial reason to be around you but they’re always there for you, they’re probably having feelings for you.
- If someone is constantly around you but their presence is necessary for some reason, they probably don’t have feelings for you. [1] X Research Source
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Notice if your co-workers are looking at you. Take a moment to observe if your partner is constantly looking at you. Combined with other signs, the fact that the person is looking at you is probably telling the truth that they like you. Your coworker may have a crush on you if they exhibit any of the following:
- They sneak glances at you all day long for no apparent reason.
- They stare at you, wink at you, or get your attention with their eyes during meetings or other corporate events.
- They constantly look at your appearance. [2] X Research Source
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Observe the other person’s body language. Body language plays a very important role in determining whether a coworker likes you. By observing your partner’s body language, you’ll get some of the cues you need to know how they feel about you.
- Is the opponent standing and posing comfortably? If their arms and legs are open and their posture is natural, they are probably interested in you.
- Is the other party sending out signals that they are not approachable? If they stand with their arms crossed or back, they are probably shy or uninterested in you.
- Always evaluate body language in conjunction with the signals and cues the other person is sending you. [3] X Research Sources
Chat with colleagues
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Notice if your partner often compliments you. Think about how often the person compliments you. Compliments or nice comments can show that they appreciate you or even like you.
- If your partner is constantly praising your work, it may mean that they only respect you as a colleague.
- If your crush compliments you on your appearance or other non-work related things, they may have special feelings for you.
- Don’t take compliments as confirmation that your coworker loves you. Evaluate compliments in the context of many other factors. [4] X Research Sources
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Consider the topic your coworker tells you about. The topic of conversations can give you pretty solid hints about how your partner feels about you. Therefore, pay a little attention to what the other person is saying to you and the type of communication they initiate. Ask yourself the following:
- Is the other party talking about very personal information? If so, this could be a signal that they view you on a more intimate level than an acquaintance.
- Is your partner talking about sex, intimacy, or a love relationship? It could be a way to get your attention in a romantic way.
- Does your partner reveal secrets to you? This suggests that they view you as more than a colleague.
- Does your partner invite you to activities outside of work? This can be a sure sign that they have feelings for you. [5] X Research Sources
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Ask coworkers about their relationship with you. After observing the signals, you may need to frankly ask your partner if they like you. While this may not be the easiest or most comfortable thing you need to do, it will give you the answer you want.
- Ask something like, “Do you think our relationship goes beyond work?”
- If you don’t want to ask directly, try using your humor to ask half-truths. You can joke about other co-workers avoiding you, and then say something like “it doesn’t seem like you hate me like everyone else”.
- Use caution when you suggest that you want an above-average co-worker relationship. [6] X Research Source
Avoid troubles
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Find out the company’s regulations on romantic relationships in the workplace. Before you even start taking action to determine if a coworker likes you, you need to find out how the company rules about romance in the workplace. This is very important, even if you don’t want to get into a relationship, because gossip about you and your partner can cause problems.
- Check your employee handbook, if you have one, learn about workplace relationships.
- Talk to your HR manager, if you can’t find the relevant information.
- Tell your boss if the two of you have started a formal relationship, and both admit it. [7] X Research Sources
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Avoid anything that could be seen as sexual harassment. When you’re trying to figure out if a coworker likes you, be sure to avoid any conversations or actions that could potentially be interpreted as sexual harassment. This is a very difficult thing to do, because many other people will be sensitive about the topic and what you think is a harmless comment could be seen as something more meaningful.
- Never make an obviously provocative or intimate comment about someone with whom you do not have an officially acknowledged romantic relationship.
- Don’t touch other co-workers unless you get a signal of approval from them, and never touch anyone at work in a sexually suggestive or affectionate way even if you’re dating.
- If you think someone likes you, and you don’t know how to say no, ask human resources.
- If someone approaches you even though you don’t like it and has signaled to stop, report it to management or human resources immediately. [8] X Research Sources
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Don’t make assumptions. Perhaps the most important thing you need to do when trying to determine if a coworker likes you is to avoid making assumptions. When you make assumptions, you will jump to conclusions without thinking through them thoroughly. When you do, you will do or say things that could get you into trouble or hurt the feelings of others.
- Make sure you always have the right information when making decisions about what to do.
- Don’t treat someone differently because you think they like you.
- Don’t expect a date, sex, or anything like that from someone you think has feelings for you. [9] X Research Source
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This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 24,546 times.
There’s a very awkward situation you need to deal with, and that is figuring out if a coworker has feelings for you. Not only will you get mixed signals from your crush, but you may not even know how to respond appropriately due to the rules of the office environment. However, there are many ways to know if your coworker likes you. By assessing how to communicate non-verbally and directly with your partner, you will be able to understand their true feelings.
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