How to Stop Being a Fool

If you find yourself always flirting with girls who never make time for you, you’re probably behaving like a jerk, aka “simp,” a slang term for guys. always trying to pamper a girl in the hope of winning her heart. Just trying to impress women is fine, but if it’s too much, you’ll look a bit pathetic. Luckily, you don’t have to act like that anymore – in this article, we’ll tell you how to change your behavior and make yourself a priority so that you’ll never be a jerk again.

Table of Contents

Don’t be too eager

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You’ll look like you’re in a hurry if you give up everything for a girl. If you constantly have to rearrange your schedule every time a girl wants to go out, she’ll know that she’s your queen. It’s fine to make plans together, but if you’re busy let her know that you won’t be able to hang out that day. ^{[1] X Research Source}

For example, if a girl suddenly asks you out on a date that you had planned to go out with friends, say, “Oh, I’ve been busy this afternoon. Is it okay tomorrow?”
That way, she’ll know that you’re still spending time with her, but you’re not giving up everything else every time you get a text from her.

Stop looking for women’s approval.

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Expecting validation from a woman will make you seem less confident. Confident guys don’t need validation – they know how valuable they are, and so they won’t worry about someone not reciprocating their feelings. Building self-esteem and improving self-confidence is a great way to find validation from yourself, not from others. ^{[2] X Research Source}

One great way to instantly boost your confidence is to write down a list of your strengths. Then you can revisit each time you feel down to gain more confidence.

Stop spoiling her voluntarily.

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The flood of small gifts and your unlimited help can become overwhelming. If you find yourself always volunteering to help a girl or give her something and she doesn’t reciprocate the same, try to cut back. In a healthy relationship, the give and take should be proportional: if you help the other person do something, they must be willing to help you in return. It’s okay to do something nice for someone from time to time, but if you’re not getting anything in return, it’s time for a change. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Should I buy her a coffee on the way to work? It probably doesn’t matter, especially when she asks.
What about going to her house to clear the snow on the front porch during a blizzard? This action is too much, maybe even makes her a little hesitant.

Be polite but don’t overdo it.

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Treat the woman in your life like a normal person, not a fragile object. When going out with a girl, you can hold the door or pull up a chair to invite her to sit for dinner. However, you should avoid excessive gestures like ordering her food for dinner. ^{[4] X Research Source} These ancient gestures work only in movies, but in real life they confuse many women.

Pour her wine for dinner: perfectly fine, and useful, too.
Throw your coat over the puddle to let her step over: this is going too far, and she might find it odd.

Keep your distance from the girl you have a crush on.

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Take a step back to break the habit. If you’ve always been obsessed with a girl (or more) and she’s not interested, then it’s time to let go. Unfollow them on social media, stop hanging out with them, and be around people who enjoy their company. The more time you spend on other activities, the less likely you will be tempted to go back to the old rut. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

If necessary, you can even stop social media altogether for a while. Not only will this help you keep your distance from people you once had a crush on, but it’s also great for your mental health.

Set limits for yourself.

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Healthy boundaries will help you not to cross the line in any relationship. If you realize you’re being too girly, you can set limits on how many times you buy gifts for girls or compliment them online. Setting limits and sticking to them will help prevent you from being taken advantage of in the future. ^{[6] X Research Source} You can also try setting limits such as:

Split pay when going out with a girl
Don’t give up everything to go out with a girl
Don’t resend if she doesn’t respond

Prioritize friends and family.

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Hang out with people who love and care about you. Relationships come and go, but your loved ones are always with you. Try not to let romantic relationships rule your life: you can enjoy love, but don’t forget your other friends too. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

And don’t give up on your hobbies either!

Self-improvement.

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Remember that you can still be happy even if you’re not dating. Although right now it seems that everyone around you has a couple, but if you still can’t find the other half, that’s okay! You still keep up with your friends and have your own hobbies. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

It sounds paradoxical, but when you stop looking for love, you’re more likely to find it.
Focus on your pastimes and find things you enjoy doing! Then you will become a much more complete person and you will be happier as a result.

Don’t listen to the advice of the gurus.

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The advice of these people rarely works. These days there are countless guys who are considered master flirts showing you how to seduce a girl. However, their tricks are mainly to treat women like objects or like “girls in distress”. If you’re looking for a girlfriend, you should seek advice from your friends, not someone who teaches you to act, to approach women. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Remember that the best way to make a genuine connection with someone is to show who you really are.

Get to know your daters on a deeper level.

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When you meet a girl you think is amazing, ask questions about her. Remember that not all women are the same: your future lover will have different interests, goals, and ambitions than others. Focus on getting to know the people you like instead of thinking about how to impress them – and you’ll be much more successful. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Good questions include “What did you like to do when you grew up?” “Where do you imagine you will be in 5 years?” “What do you like to do on weekends?”
Please share about yourself too! The girl you’re dating probably also wants to know more about you and see if you’re a good match.

Find someone who really likes you.

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In healthy relationships, both are content to be together. Try not to fall in love with people who over and over again push you aside or take advantage of your help. Find someone who really likes you for who you are and doesn’t try to change you. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Try to strike a balance between give and take in a romantic relationship. If you find yourself constantly buying gifts, helping her out, and always texting first, it might be time to let go.

Steps