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This article was co-written by Imad Jbara. Imad Jbara is a marriage and love expert with NYC Wingwoman LLC, a New York-based dating consultant. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking and dating advice, one-on-one coaching, and an intensive weekend coaching program. Imad has helped over 100 clients, both men and women, improve their love lives through practical communication skills. He holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
There are 12 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
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Compared to television, movies, and music, nightclubs are not the ideal place for a date. Not everyone goes to a nightclub to find their other half, and even if they do, they don’t easily strike up a conversation with strangers. Remember that getting to know women is not about using tricks or treating them in a certain way. To get to know women in a nightclub, you need to follow some basic principles that apply in all circumstances: be nice, confident, and have fun. If you do these things, you will attract people who have the same thoughts as you.
Steps
Express yourself in the nightclub
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Shower, shave and clean. You need to make a good first impression when meeting others through your appearance. However, you don’t have to put in a lot of effort to look attractive, just clean your body, brush your teeth, and wear fashionable clothes.
- Deodorize the body and if using perfume should only be in a moderate amount.
- Imagine you are going on a date. You need to be clean and ready to impress. [1] X Research Source
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Choose clean, comfortable, and stylish clothing. You don’t have to invest in new clothes just to go to the nightclub. Nightclubs are dark, closed places, and you’re not here to show people fashion. You need to be neat but still be able to move and dance comfortably. However, you need to be aware that each nightclub has its own rules. Some places “require” to wear a suit or shirt and pants. Ask a friend or search the internet for dress codes if you’re not sure what to wear.
- Each nightclub has its own dress code, but you can bring pants, a button-down shirt, and matching shoes (no sneakers). [2] X Research Source
- In the closet should be dark din clothes for nightclubs and bars, faded and ragged din is not suitable for these places and does not make a good impression.
- For a casual nightclub, you can take your shirt off and your sleeves. However, at first you have to put your shirt in your pants.
- For more upscale nightclubs, it’s recommended to bring a jacket and cardigan.
- Black clothing should not be worn, as ultraviolet lights create unattractive reflections. Instead, you should choose blue, gray and solid colors or with simple patterns to look neat and eye-catching. [3] X Research Sources
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Don’t get drunk. Although alcohol is a motivating factor, no one likes drunk people. You can drink 2-3 cups in that session, but don’t let yourself get drunk to start a conversation with a woman. Stay in moderation for a bright and coherent appearance. You should maintain a dialogue with your partner, jump without tripping, and avoid going to the bathroom at least every 30 minutes. [4] X Research Sources
- If you need to extend the time, you should reduce to a full cup within an hour.
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Bring your friends. You don’t want to spend the night talking to someone you know, but having friends can provide a fun atmosphere as well as someone to talk to when things get weird. If you go alone and are not a social person, things will become unnatural. However, this is still acceptable because you should be in a nightclub to have fun, meet people, and dance. Most people go to nightclubs with friends, and if one of them comes into contact with anyone, the whole group knows this person.
- If possible, you should go with a group of friends with both men and women. The more the number, the more comfortable each person feels.
- The whole group should not be called “entourage” or “support team.” This makes you look desperate and completely just want to have sex.
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Go to a nightclub to have fun first, then get to know women later. No one likes someone who just wants to find someone to have a relationship with. This makes friends distant and uncomfortable. The important thing is that having fun makes it easier for you to meet other people, because you don’t feel stressed and confident to strike up a conversation with others even when things don’t work out. Enjoy the fun that gives you positive energy that makes everyone want to participate.
- Women don’t like to be seen as plundering, and men shouldn’t make themselves “hunters.” [5] X Research Sources
- Despair can lead to failure, and even in a nightclub environment, women who come to have fun can still recognize the type of man who is desperate. So if they are not interested, you should stop and find someone else.
- The desire to meet women outside is normal. But if you only go to nightclubs to get to know women while drunk, you will be disappointed when you get home.
Chat with women at nightclubs
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Show confidence. This is one of those things that is easy said but hard to do. However, confidence is an important factor for you to attract women’s attention. This means you need to take a deep breath and act no matter how nervous you feel. Just keep in mind that the odds are extremely low, and you will be rejected. This happens to everyone and your life is not going to get worse just because women don’t like to dance with you.
- People often reject you for many reasons, 99% not personal reasons. Maybe they already have a lover, want to have fun with friends, feel tired, etc.. Shouldn’t take this matter seriously, but should confidently open up to other girls. [6] X Research Sources
- To gain confidence you should follow the saying “fake it until it’s true.” Be confident and over time you will feel confident. A lot of confident people around us are still facing self-doubt. However, they can always use willpower to put their doubts aside.
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Get to know women in a quiet area where no one else is around. The hardest part is finding the right person to talk to, but it shouldn’t take things too seriously. Walk confidently up to the bar, greet the girl sitting against the wall or the corner of the dance floor, and chat as you line up. Focus on quiet areas where you can talk.
- Walk into a bar and stand next to the woman you like. While waiting for a drink, you can take the initiative to get acquainted.
- Talking casually while in line is an effective way to put the other person at ease, and they’ll continue to talk to you once they step inside.
- Women sitting in the corner of a room or on the dance floor are often more receptive to dialogue.
- Move the group of friends closer to the girls. Surrounding friends helps bring confidence and motivation to start a conversation. [7] X Research Sources
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Smile and introduce yourself. This is quite a simple action, but effective. In fact, many researchers have found that gentle smiles and greetings are the best introductions. [8] X Research Source Although you need to prepare some topics to talk about in advance, to break the silence you just need to apply simple measures. Often they have heard the rhetoric and will not feel amused or attractive.
- If she smiles back and introduces herself, you can offer her a drink. However, you need to make sure that there is no full glass of drink in front of the other person. [9] X Research Source
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Laugh, joke, and talk softly. You are not considering whether the other person is your other half, but just trying to warm up the atmosphere. Mention topics related to the nightclub, her drink, or music. Humor is one of the most effective ways to break silence, so the act of telling a joke shows that you are a relaxed, happy, and relaxed person. [10] X Research Source
- “What job am I?”
- “What would you rather do instead of work?”
- “Tell me about yourself.”
- Don’t mention marriage, exes, or long-term ties. These are difficult and important questions that should only be asked after the relationship has taken place. Remember that flirting should only be light and fun, not too serious.
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Don’t talk too much and listen more. However, listening does not mean just being silent and nodding, but also asking appropriate questions, interjecting when there is a relevant story or opinion, and paying attention to the content of the other person’s conversation. seriously. If you talk about your life and how wonderful you are, you will definitely be rejected. [11] X Research Source
- Answer fully by thinking through your answer before asking for her opinion or reaction.
- If you feel like you’re talking for more than 1-2 minutes at a time, stop and ask her a question.
- Let the conversation flow naturally. There are no rules for what is “right” to talk to others. Just be yourself, ask questions, and let yourself be seriously interested in what she’s saying. If not, you should switch to another audience.
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Praise seriously and honestly. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met” was cliché and vague, and she wouldn’t believe it. But if she has beautiful eyes, knows how to dress, or has outstanding hair, you can let her know. Do not compliment too much, but just serious and sincere compliments will make the other person find you quite attractive and show that you are not a shark hunting the most beautiful woman.
- If she compliments you back, don’t ignore it or ignore it. Thank her politely and accept the compliment.
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Go beyond the limit of contact when you have established intimacy. She smiles, makes eye contact, and smiles, and the best way to tell if she’s ready to hit the dance floor is with gentle touch. When you get up, place your hand gently on her arm or back, or touch her at the bar when she’s making fun of her or giving a good signal. If she doesn’t back down or seems annoyed, this is a sign of connection. [12] X Research Source
- Do not hesitate or hold hands; Gentle touch to a non-sensitive area, such as an arm or hand, is sufficient.
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Honestly ask the other party if they want to dance or not. Sometimes you just need to take simple and confident measures to get the girl. After laughing, making eye contact, and talking, you can point your head towards the dance floor and ask her to dance with you. This may sound like a proposal to donate a kidney at this point, but a dance in a nightclub isn’t such a big deal. You just need a little confidence and a straightforward disposition:
- “Let’s dance.”
- “Can you dance with me to this song?”
- “I like this post. Do you want to dance with me?”
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Do not prolong the conversation. The nightclub is quite dark, noisy in the heat, so it is not an ideal place to get to know other people. Offer to dance and move on to someone else if she refuses. If you want to talk, ask her out or somewhere more private to continue the conversation.
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Don’t take yourself too seriously. A nightclub is not a place for intimate action. You should just have fun and flirt, not focus on finding the woman of your dreams. It’s easy to make fun of others with old-fashioned or quirky tricks you’ve imitated in movies or websites that teach you how to get to know women.
- Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself, dance some funky dances, and joke about nightclubs. However, you should only do it in moderation. Humility is a good thing, but most women don’t like going around with a jerk.
Ask for phone number
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Pursue a woman after you have a crush. Dating more than one person at the same time and expanding your target audience are indecent actions. And in many cases you will be discovered. After the person likes you, you should pay attention to them instead of their friends.
- Have a friendly conversation with her friends, but don’t flirt with them. You shouldn’t just stick to one person, but spend some time learning more about his or her friends. [13] X Research Source
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Use open, confident, and engaging body language. People often forget their secret flirting weapon: body language. They subtly let people know your intentions, helping you get to know your partner slowly to see their reaction. [14] X Research Source It is important and first of all to focus on posture: chest up, chin parallel to the floor, back straight. In addition to posture, you should:
- Turn towards her. You should not face her directly, but should rotate your shoulders and waist. This pose is fearless but still intimate.
- Eye contact. If you find it difficult, you can look at her ears or the bridge of her nose. She won’t notice this slight difference.
- Nod and smile while the other person talks. Join the conversation with body gestures. [15] X Research Source
- Don’t wrap your arms around, look away/look down, or stare into space while she’s talking.
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Know when she likes you. There are many signs that a person is interested in you, and each person has different expressions. This means that there are some clear signs that she wants to go further. However, if she doesn’t maintain eye contact regularly, doesn’t face you, or ignores the conversation, you should move on to another target. Maybe she doesn’t like you. Here are some signs that your partner is interested in you:
- She smiles comfortably, smiles and feels comfortable around you.
- She breaks the barrier by touching your upper arm.
- She teases, jokes, or makes fun of you. [16] X Research Source
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Offer your number in advance. After dancing, chatting, and having a good time, you can give her your number and let her know that you had a good time. She will give you her phone number, but if you don’t, you have a chance with the other person. [17] X Research Source
- “I had a good time, and I want to see you again. If you have time, call me.”
- “Let’s have a drink together.”
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Offer to extend the meeting if you feel a connection. If you feel that you both have a connection signal, you should maintain this situation. Let her know that you’re having a good time and ask her if she’d like more drinks, take her home, or a late night snack. If she asks “what are you doing later,” this is no ordinary question: she wants to see you later tonight. Let her know that you want her to have a drink or stop by your house.
- “Let’s go somewhere quiet for a drink.”
- “I’m going home, do you have any plans?”
- “That’s enough for tonight. You can stop by my house if you want.”
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Remember to always be yourself. There are many ways to show your strengths, but you will only attract the other person if you show your true self. Even in dim light and in a drunken state, a woman can still recognize a fake, and then it will be difficult for you to approach her. You don’t always get to know women when you go out, and this is completely normal. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and increase your chances.
- It is important that you do not take rejection too seriously, instead, it helps to make a man stronger and more confident. See rejection as progress, learn from mistakes in your previous approach, and focus on the next audience.
- The more rejections you get, the easier it will be to prepare for the next rejection. The men who succeed with women are the ones most women reject.
- Remember that even Brad Pitt has been rejected many times, but he still doesn’t stop or get scared right!
Advice
- If you feel like you’re just sitting on the bench, you should get up and take action. Go slow, purposefully, and find people to talk to. Avoidance won’t do you any good.
- Prepare chat content. Many guys say “How’s it going” and don’t ask anything more. Bear in mind that there’s a lot going on around you, you can mention people nearby (don’t say it negatively, though you can joke a bit), decorations, etc. ..
- If a person insists that they want to talk to you, for example by maintaining eye contact, you should spend some time talking to them. Don’t be so arrogant that you can’t compliment or respond to a woman who wants to get to know you .
- Don’t force yourself to sit and talk to a woman all night. They also have friends by their side. You should spend time with your friends and invite her to dance with you.
Warning
- You will be rejected. It is important to maintain confidence. Not everyone you meet wants to go to bed with you.
- If the other person asks to stay away, do not disturb, or is denied, you need to leave the subject. The act of clinging won’t do anything.
- Remember that most women go to nightclubs not to meet new people but to have fun with friends.
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This article was co-written by Imad Jbara. Imad Jbara is a marriage and love expert with NYC Wingwoman LLC, a New York-based dating consultant. ‘NYC Wingwoman’ offers matchmaking and dating advice, one-on-one coaching, and an intensive weekend coaching program. Imad has helped over 100 clients, both men and women, improve their love lives through practical communication skills. He holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
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Compared to television, movies, and music, nightclubs are not the ideal place for a date. Not everyone goes to a nightclub to find their other half, and even if they do, they don’t easily strike up a conversation with strangers. Remember that getting to know women is not about using tricks or treating them in a certain way. To get to know women in a nightclub, you need to follow some basic principles that apply in all circumstances: be nice, confident, and have fun. If you do these things, you will attract people who have the same thoughts as you.
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