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This article was co-written by Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Kateri Berasi is a clinical psychologist in Brooklyn, New York. With over ten years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in working with the LGBTQIA+ community and the creative industries through individual therapy, counseling, group discussion therapy and site therapy. dress. She holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, art history, literature and French from George Washington University, and an MA and MEd in mental health counseling from the University of Cpumbia. Dr. Berasi also holds a PhD in clinical psychology from Long Island University.
This article has been viewed 45,821 times.
When someone invites you to a party, there’s a lot of pressure to attend. Sometimes it’s just that you’re not interested. Maybe you’re too busy, or just not in the mood to go out in public. You can be honest with the host about why you can’t attend the party, you can also lie. This article will show you how to refuse to go to a party.
Steps
Be honest with the host
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Reject immediately. [1] X Research Resources Don’t delay telling your host you can’t come to the party. Let them know right away that you can’t come, so they don’t expect your attendance and feel more disappointed when you cancel at the last minute.
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Decline directly with the landlord. [2] X Source of Research If the party is important to the host – for example, a birthday party, an anniversary party, or a baby shower or a wedding reception – it would be rude to just text message or email that you cannot attend. Pick a time to talk to them face-to-face and explain why you couldn’t make it.
- If you can’t talk in person – for example, if the friend lives in another city or if your calendar doesn’t match – give them a call.
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Let’s start the announcement appropriately. Everyone reacts to news that upsets them in different ways, so there’s no one right answer for how to communicate your reasons. Your attitude depends on the personality of the person you are informing.
- If you think the person will be offended or upset, apologize to them.
- If you think the person will try to pressure or force you to attend, be firm.
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Give a clear reason for missing the party. If you just tell the host that you don’t “feel” like going, you could hurt them. Giving a specific reason is the best way, unless your specific reason is that you don’t like the landlord! Some examples of why you might not want to attend a party might include:
- You have an appointment in advance at that time
- A person you want to avoid is going to the party
- You have too much work or school to do
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Don’t explain too much about yourself. When you talk too long about why you can’t attend a party, you give the host more time to try to convince you that you should. Please explain the reason in a short and pleasant way, then continue the story.
- You can change the subject completely or show that you still care about the party by asking about the party planning process.
- Showing interest shows that you’re eager to attend, but you really can’t.
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Offer to help prepare the party. Even if you can’t attend, you can still help make the party a success by offering to lend a hand with planning and preparation. This will demonstrate to the host that you value their friendship and will attend the party if you can.
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Promise to make up for them. If you must miss an event, plan to speak with the host when you have more time. Do it as close to the time of the event as possible, so you have a chance to show interest in what you missed. This will make the host feel that you appreciate their efforts in organizing the party, and value their friendship.
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Come to a quick party. The best honest way to not have to spend time at a party is to spend as little time as possible there. You try to greet the host so they know you’re in. Try to have a good time while you’re there, but let everyone know that you have to leave early. Even if you can’t stay, people will appreciate that you did your best to drop by.
- If you feel uncomfortable being told to leave, leave without saying goodbye. People may be having so much fun, they won’t even realize you’re back.
Lie to avoid a date
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Don’t be too hard on yourself for lying. Studies show that lying is an inevitable part of everyday life even for those we consider to be virtuous, respectful. [3] X Research Sources When people lie to relieve social tension, rather than serving their own ends, a harmless lie may be a better option than the truth.
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Simply lie. [4] X Research Source Lie as little as possible, no need to elaborate. A well-prepared story about why you can’t attend a party raises suspicion, and it’s also harder to remember if someone asks you about it later.
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Blame the family. Everyone understands that family obligations always come first. Tell your friends that you have to babysit, or your parents ask you to eat at your uncle’s house that night. One important reason is that you have to be grounded; everyone will understand that there is no way you can go to a party.
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Let’s say you have a plan. Only the most stubborn friend will try to force you to cancel the plans you have made with other people to go to their party. But make sure you don’t choose a friend to attend the party as your alibi. Let’s say you have plans with a friend from another school, or even with an imaginary friend.
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Pretend you’re not feeling well. On the day of the party, text your friend saying you think you ate something wrong, and got food poisoning. No one wants someone to throw up at their party. Plus, food poisoning passes quickly, so no one can doubt it when you feel well again the next day.
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Pretend there’s too much to do. Whether you are a student or a working person, everyone knows and understands that sometimes we fall behind and have to keep up with our work.
- If the host is still trying to force you to come, say that your parents or boss are upset with you, and you have to do it to make up for them.
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Plan your lie beforehand. [5] X Research Source If there’s two weeks to go before the party, and you’re sure you don’t want to go to the party, don’t wait until the last second to say no! Plan a lie ahead of time to deflect suspicion. Some things you might consider are:
- Tell the host at the time of invitation that you already have an appointment that day.
- Tell the host a day or two before the party that you are sick.
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Remember your lies. This is the most important thing about lying. Even if it’s just an insignificant lie, you don’t want to hurt anyone if you get caught. Remember exactly what you say to people, and to whom you speak.
- If you post a lie on social media for credibility, make sure no one catches you doing anything else that night!
- If you tell your host you feel sick, don’t let anyone tag you in a picture somewhere else that night.
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This article was co-written by Kateri Berasi, PsyD. Kateri Berasi is a clinical psychologist in Brooklyn, New York. With over ten years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in working with the LGBTQIA+ community and the creative industries through individual therapy, counseling, group discussion therapy and site therapy. dress. She holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, art history, literature and French from George Washington University, and an MA and MEd in mental health counseling from the University of Cpumbia. Dr. Berasi also holds a PhD in clinical psychology from Long Island University.
This article has been viewed 45,821 times.
When someone invites you to a party, there’s a lot of pressure to attend. Sometimes it’s just that you’re not interested. Maybe you’re too busy, or just not in the mood to go out in public. You can be honest with the host about why you can’t attend the party, you can also lie. This article will show you how to refuse to go to a party.
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