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This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 226,981 times.
Having a face-to-face conversation with the person you have a crush on can be nerve-wracking, but texting gives you a chance to think about what to say before you hit the send button. What’s more, they can’t see you’re blushing when sending a winking emoji! However, there are a few things you need to keep in mind for a good conversation, from how to strike up a conversation and flirt to some things to avoid.
Steps
Start a conversation
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Think about how to initiate a private conversation. Avoid just sending “Hi” or “Hi” text messages to the person you have your eye on. Instead, try to think of a creative way to get the person interested in the conversation in the first place. For example, you might mention something you said during a previous meeting, or you could text the person when you come across something that reminds you of them. [1] X Research Source
- For example, you could say “Hi Nam! I just saw a suitable shirt to help you dress up as a cowboy for the upcoming Halloween. Do you want to see pictures?”
- If you’re not sure if the person has his or her phone number saved, introduce who you are. For example, you would say “Hi, I’m Khoa and we met at the coffee shop the other day. I was so happy to meet you!”
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Feel free to strike up a conversation if you want to show them the good side of you. If you’re the fun and impromptu person, don’t be afraid to let your crush know that in the first place! Next time you think of something, text the person. If they’re “juggling” with you, they’re probably the perfect match! [2] X Research Source
- For example, you might say, “I love cheese so much that I thought about making my own! Is cheese difficult to make in your opinion?” or “Do you think llamas or raccoons will win the match?”
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Compliment the person if you want to show initiative. A great way to start a conversation is to compliment the person. Not only will this make your partner happy, but it will also help you appear confident and brave. [3] X Research Sources
- For example, you could say “Hi beautiful!” or “Hello soccer star!”
- You can also say, “You looked so lovely when I met you at lunchtime today!”
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Start a conversation with open-ended questions to get answers. Asking yes-or-no questions can get you a one-word answer, so think of a question that requires the person to explain the answer. As such, they will join the conversation in the first place. Besides, you also know more about them through the replies! [4] X Research Sources
- Try saying, “How did you feel about the biology test yesterday? How many marks do you think you will get in the essay section?” (If they do well and you don’t, try asking if they can help you study for the next test.)
- You can also ask other things like “What do you like to do in your spare time?” Maybe you’ll find something in common between the two of you!
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Ask what the person is doing. Once you’ve successfully opened up, try asking what the person is up to. If they’re not busy, keep talking, but if they say they’re working on something, let them know you’ll text later. That way, you don’t disturb them while they’re busy. Maybe they’ll appreciate you appreciating their time, making them want to talk to you later.
- For example, if they’re having dinner with their family, you’d say, “It’s okay, have a good meal. We can talk tomorrow!”
Flirting via text
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Send photos when you’re having fun. You don’t need to send an inviting photo to flirt. Instead, try sending a photo of you having fun with your friends. This shows the person that you are happy, has a lot of fun in life, and makes you more attractive.
- For example, when you go to eat ice cream with a “hard card”, you will take a picture of the ice cream that you both chose.
- If you and your friends often play soccer on the weekends, take a group photo to send to that person.
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Bet with that person to show your bold side. Everyone loves a little friendly fighting, and this is a fun way for you and your partner to share your own jokes. Send a challenge, challenge or bet via text and see if they agree to join the fun! [5] X Research Sources
- For example, you could say “I bet you the gym teacher will wear a red t-shirt to the game tomorrow, otherwise I’ll give you 10,000 dong”. You just have to remember to pay if you lose your bet!
- You can also challenge them to do something, such as “I dare you to say “skinny” at tomorrow’s presentation!”
- Avoid challenging words with malicious intent or anything that could get the person in trouble. Don’t challenge them to misbehave or break a serious rule.
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Plan outings. Text flirting is fun, but if you really like the person, it’s also important to make time to meet in person. Try to plan an outing or event, and then invite the person to join you. Thus, you will easily “close” a date instead of just generally saying “When are we free, let’s go out”. [6] X Research Sources
- You could try saying, “I’m going to see the movie ‘Black Agent’ tomorrow, do you want to come with me?”
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Add emojis to let them know how you feel. If you want your crush to know how you feel, try sending flirty symbols like winks or heart eyes. Don’t go too far, though – just send 1 or 2 icons every few messages. [7] X Research Sources
- Other cute emojis are heart, fire (to show that person is sexy, of course!) and laugh out loud if the person says something funny.
- Some symbols may contain an inviting connotation, such as the smiling face with the tongue out. It’s best to choose neutral symbols until you know your partner likes you too.
Some common texting mistakes to avoid
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Don’t feel like you need to wait a while before texting them. Some people recommend waiting 3 days before you text someone if they already have their phone number. However, after such a long time, they will probably think that you don’t care. Instead, text him or her as soon as you’re ready. This is a way to let them know that you’ve been thinking about them, and they’ll be intrigued by your initiative. [8] X Research Sources
- However, you should not text others late at night or early in the morning. The reason is because they can be woken up and not happy with it.
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Avoid using a lot of slang in texting. When you talk to that person, you want them to see how insightful and intelligent you are. Using a lot of acronyms, initials in a phrase, and online slang can make you lose your nuance, and make your message confusing. Try to write with correct spelling and grammar. [9] X Research Source
- Messages with few abbreviations are fine. For example, the sentence “I’m so jealous of you” isn’t a problem, but “you can’t draw well but you’re so good at drawing” will probably make the person lose sympathy for you.
- Read the message before sending to correct typos.
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Send happy messages, especially in the early stages. When you first text someone you like, don’t bring them down by telling them all about your life’s problems. Instead, send messages that are positive, smart, or funny. This way, your partner will feel that you are a positive person and are happy to be around. [10] X Research Source
- For example, you can text a few jokes, tell a lovely incident of your day, or send a funny meme that you came across by accident.
- Avoid sending too many humorous sarcasm, as the recipient may misunderstand their meaning when reading the message.
- Over time, you can gradually open up to that person, especially when you see them doing the same.
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Do not think too much. When you like someone, you may want to analyze the messages they send you to look for signs that help you know how they feel. However, the best way to know if your crush likes you is to spend time talking to them. You will gradually get the answer; So just relax, have fun and let things develop naturally. [11] X Research Source
- For example, just because the person sent a brief message doesn’t mean they’re mad at you or that they don’t like you. Maybe they’re just busy.
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Try not to text others more than they text you. If you’re constantly sending long texts and the person only responds briefly (or doesn’t reply), they’re probably busy, and they’ll get mad if you keep texting. You don’t have to respond to exactly 1 message for every message they send, but try to keep a balance. [12] X Research Source
- Don’t text your ex to ask why they’re not texting you. This makes you look desperate or pushy. If they don’t respond, give them more time.
- If your crush rarely replies to your texts or sends only brief messages, it could be a sign that they’re not keeping an eye on you. However, this does not mean that you have a problem, but simply that you and they are not meant for each other.
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Try to end the conversation first. If your partner always says goodbye first, they’ll start to feel like you like them more. Make them miss you by ending the conversation earlier than they expected. If you ended the conversation because you had to go somewhere, you should let them know that you have a busy life and lots of experience!
- Make the person look forward to it by saying, “Remind me to tell you about the job interview tomorrow!”
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This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 226,981 times.
Having a face-to-face conversation with the person you have a crush on can be nerve-wracking, but texting gives you a chance to think about what to say before you hit the send button. What’s more, they can’t see you’re blushing when sending a winking emoji! However, there are a few things you need to keep in mind for a good conversation, from how to strike up a conversation and flirt to some things to avoid.
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