How to Reduce Disappointment in Life

Rate the disappointment. To find out if your feelings of disappointment are out of the normal range, answer the questions below. You may feel your frustrations are serious, and if so, seeking therapy or anger management classes can be a great option. ^[1]

• Do you often get angry?
• Do you often respond to disappointment by blaming or responding angrily to others?
• Do you handle your own frustrations with alcohol, drugs, and binge eating?
• Do you often hurt other people’s feelings in the face of disappointment?
• Do you tend to feel misunderstood after a bout of frustration has passed?
• Do you often lose control and get angry during a day at work or at school?
• When you’re frustrated, do you feel like your life is stuck or you don’t have value?

Recognize the source of frustration. Spend some time thinking or writing about the potential cause of your disappointment in life. List your frustration triggers as specifically as possible – perhaps a coworker or classmate that upsets you, or even the way someone said or did something. Try to see if this cause of frustration is an issue that you want to control but can’t. For example, you cannot control the opinion of others. However, you can control whether or not to chat with that person.

• This will help you understand and accept problems in the long run, making you more likely to handle them with patience.
• Maybe you realize that you can completely avoid disappointment. For example, if the way home from work is often congested with traffic, you can choose the route a little further to avoid being stuck in traffic.

Handle the source of frustration with caution. Feeling frustrated is not always wrong, and it can be a rational response to one or more very real and difficult problems in life. However, frustration can arise because you believe that every problem has a definite solution, and that something is wrong with you or your life if a solution is not found. Instead of trying to fix it right away, you should try to focus on cultivating a positive attitude. ^[2] Understand why the problem exists in your life and be open to facing it and learning from it.

• Understanding that the cause of your frustration may not be obvious will give you an open mind to deal with your frustration without acting rashly. For example, you need to think twice before deciding to quit your office job just because the printer keeps getting stuck.

Understand your natural rhythm. Time management is very important, especially in preventing disappointment. Often times we are faced with a problem that we are perfectly capable of dealing with—just not right now. Take time to notice your energy swings during the day. For example, you may notice that the morning is usually a great time to deal with serious problems, but by the afternoon you feel too exhausted to handle bills or make decisions. big. Avoid frustration by only doing these things when you know you have enough energy to complete the task.

Set a schedule for yourself. You can adopt many habits to make your daily life less affected by momentary decisions. This reduces frustration by removing the pressure to constantly deal with novelty. Especially when the causes of your frustration are daily task management, slow progress, or not enough time in the day, try sticking to a schedule.

• Use the things you have to be “present” for as a foundation, such as going to work or picking up your kids from school. You can then schedule other things like paying your bills, buying groceries, and having a morning exercise routine in addition to these commitments.
• Don’t stress yourself out trying to schedule everything . Instead, arrange several free time frames during the day to use the time more favorable. You’ll be less frustrated with minor inconveniences like traffic or trouble at the bank knowing that you’re putting in the effort to allocate time for these tasks.

Make time for what matters. ^[3] Frustration also comes from trying to control and change things that aren’t so important at first. When you’re about to lose control and get angry or act to make matters happen “your wish,” ask yourself if the problem will affect tomorrow (or next week, or next year). Chances are you can just ignore it and forget about it.

• You also need to ask yourself if you care deeply about the frustrating situation. If it’s not related to your core values, you’re probably just trying to do it because you want to. If that’s the case, you can smile and ignore it.

Improve communication skills. In times of frustration, it’s not just you who suffers from negative thoughts and judgments; but those around you are also at risk of being affected in the midst of your boredom. When talking in frustration, try to slow down and think about your language. Ask yourself what’s the first thing that comes to mind, such as “Why are you so bad?” Is it really helpful? Comments like that only increase frustration and spread.

• Focus on listening to what the other person is saying, and try to understand their point of view. Keep this in mind when answering, trying to understand rather than rush into judgment.
• For example, if you’re frustrated when roommates never wash the dishes, ask yourself without judgment if they’re aware of the shared responsibility and if they’re having a hard time. This will make the negotiation easier instead of accusing them of being lazy (because frustration makes you think that way about who they are).

Release frustration in a healthy way. If calm acceptance doesn’t come easily—and it takes time to nurture—resolve frustration in a way that doesn’t harm yourself or others. Shout at the pillow or punch the pillow until you get tired. Sometimes frustration is handled more effectively by expressing anger than by trying to defuse it. Believing that frustration will pass by simply expressing it rather than trying to control or intervene in the frustrating situation.

• Use this approach when frustration sets in, or when there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. Make sure you are in a place where others are not threatened or frightened when you release your anger.