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This article was co-written by Inge Hansen, PsyD. Inge Hansen, PhD, is the life director of Stanford University and the Weiland Health Initiative. Dr. Hansen has a deep interest in social justice, gender and sexual diversity. She holds a PhD in psychology from the California School of Psychology with a major in gender and gender identity. She is the co-author of “Keeping Integrity in an Age of Compromise”.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 13,075 times.
Although there may be biological differences in the brains of transgender and heterosexual people, there has not been a simple test that can tell if your innate gender matches your identity. your gender or not. However, with a little self-inquiry and a little help from the experts, you can still find the most suitable identification. If you’ve always wondered about your gender identity, listen to your inner feelings and accept your feelings of uncertainty. Talk to a gender identity counselor to get someone to support you on your journey to finding yourself. Don’t forget that there are many ways to identify, and the most important thing is to find what you want. [1] X Research Source
Steps
Ask the right questions
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Understand that you are curious. If you’re seriously asking yourself if you’re transgender, you’re probably not exactly living up to gender standards. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re transgender, but it could be. It can also show that you are gender-diverse in another way. [2] X Research Source
- Ask yourself why you are curious. If you’ve always been uncomfortable with your biological gender or you’re attracted to your image of the other gender, you may be transgender.
- Consider the possibility that you are non-binary: if you can’t perceive yourself as exactly male or female, you may be of a different gender.
- If you’re comfortable with your biological gender, but find yourself behaving differently from other people of the same sex, you’re not necessarily transgender. Maybe you’re just a girly guy or a masculine girl.
- Note that transgender is not synonymous with transsexual. Transsexual is a medical term formerly used to refer to people who have taken the steps of a permanent physical transition. Some transgender people can use hormones, even surgery, but not all do. [3] X Research Sources
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Remember your childhood wishes. Many transgender people express intense feelings of dissatisfaction about their gender from an early age. Persistent desires lasting more than 6 months are often seen as a sign of gender frustration. Manifestations include: [4] X Research Source
- Insist that you’re not the gender your parents say you are.
- Always think that you will be a different sex from your biological sex when you grow up.
- Always play the opposite sex in fantasy games.
- Always dress or want to be dressed appropriately for that gender.
- Enjoy playing with friends of that gender.
- Desire to participate in group activities, games and hobbies that are specific to that gender.
- Refuse toys that match your biological sex.
- Hates his body and/or genitals.
- Sadness, fear, confusion, shame, anger, or other expression of emotions.
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Ask yourself if you feel fit in your social role. Many transgender people feel alienated from their assigned roles in society. Ask yourself, do you get bored when you have to participate in activities with people of the same sex. When assigned to do something specific to your biological sex, do you feel like you’ve been misplaced? [5] X Research Sources
- Consider how you feel when you are among a group of people of the same biological sex as you. If you feel out of place or feel like you just seem like them but aren’t really one of them, it’s possible that you’re exhibiting gender dysphoria.
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Notice how you feel when you are called by a name or personal pronoun. Think about how you feel when you hear yourself being called by a certain pronoun. If you feel like you’ve been misidentified, maybe it’s better for you to change your address. [6] X Research Sources
- If you feel uncomfortable being called “grandpa” or “grandmother,” it may not be right for you.
- Notice how you feel when you’re in a group of so-called “lads” or “gentlemen.”
- Do you feel like you were misnamed? If you feel your name is correct, think about whether you think it’s a “girl” name or a “boy” name.
- How do you feel when someone mistakenly calls you a pronoun of the opposite gender? If you feel comfortable or satisfied, you are probably transgender.
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Be aware of unpleasant bodily sensations. Many transgender people have a feeling that something is wrong with their bodies. Some people describe feeling “stuck” in their body. If you have a nagging desire to change your sexual characteristics, you probably have gender dysphoria. [7] X Trusted Source National Health Service (UK) Go to Source
- If the experience of puberty comes to you as a shock or trauma, it may be a manifestation of gender identity. Try to recall if you were frustrated when secondary sex characteristics (voice breakdown, enlarged breasts, broad shoulders, beard growth, menstruation) appeared?
- If you hate looking in the mirror, taking pictures, or always hiding your body in layers of clothing, these are probably signs that you have a bad feeling about your body.
Find support
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Find a good therapist who specializes in gender. There are many psychologists, counselors and social workers who specialize in gender diversity. Experts can help you ask and answer important questions.
- Find counselors who specialize in gender identity, gender identity, or LGBT issues.
- If there is a transgender health clinic in your area, contact them to see if there is a therapist available.
- If you live in the US, you can use the American Psychological Association’s locator to find psychologists who specialize in gender identity issues: http://locator.apa.org/
- In the UK, you can contact the Beaumont Society for reference: http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/
- You can also ask your GP to refer you to a counselor or visit a school counselor if you’re in high school or college.
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Talk to people who are diverse or wondering about their gender. Contact people who are transgender or who are questioning their gender. You can find meeting places for LGBTQ groups, community centers or events. If you’re in school, consider reaching out to student groups like the LGBTQ group or the Gay Straight Alliance. You don’t have to go public right away; simply say you’re an ally, or explain that you’re wondering about your gender but aren’t comfortable talking about it yet.
- Not everyone you meet wants to talk about their gender! Some people may feel exposed if you ask them personal matters. You can mention your own problem, and if they ask you you can ask them again.
- If you’re not sure, write them or find a private time to ask. You could write, “I’ve been thinking a lot about my gender identity for a long time. I thought you might be aware of some of the problems I’m having. I look forward to talking to you if you ever have time. But if you don’t feel comfortable, that’s okay.”
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Find online forums. A great way to connect with people of diversity and gender doubters is to search online. Consider joining a social media group or an anonymous forum. Remember to keep your personal information private when interacting online.
- Try checking out a general LGBTQ forum like http://emptyclosets.com/forum/
- If your age is between 13 and 24, you can join TrevorSpace, a safe and regulated forum: https://www.trevorspace.org/login
- You can also look to organizations like PFLAG (Community of Gay Parents, Family and Friends) and GLAAD to find resources and support for you and your family. [8] X Research Sources[9] X Research Sources
Find out what you want
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Allow yourself to choose your gender identity as transgender. If you think you might be transgender male or female, just give it a try and see how you feel. Consider taking a weekend to live with that gender. If you share your thoughts with a friend, therapist or family member, talk to them about your plans and ask for support. [10] X Research Source
- Try using other personal pronouns. Hear how you feel when you call yourself with a different pronoun than what you are defaulted to. If you think you’re transgender, call yourself “Miss” and ask your best friend to call you the same.
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Consider gender diversity. There are many other ways to express a gender besides “male” and “female.” You can be multi-gender, non-binary, bisexual, or completely different. You don’t have to try to force yourself into a form if it doesn’t work for you. [11] X Research Source
- Try using the pronoun “they”. If you’re uncomfortable with personal pronouns like “he” or “she,” or if you’re looking to convey your gender diversity to others, try using neutral personal pronouns. .
- Remember that you can make your decision slowly, or you may not need to choose at all. Don’t let others force you to choose.
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Express yourself through the way you dress. Experiment with different styles of clothing until you find the right one. If you crave a certain type of outfit, wear it. For example, if you were born as a boy but always like to wear skirts, go for it. You can learn a lot from how you feel when you dress the way you want. [12] X Research Source
- If you feel you’re non-binary, try going for a bisexual look, or pairing outfits that are gender specific.
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Consider other ways to assert your gender. No matter what your gender identity is, there are many ways to assert it. Ask yourself what do you want: What makes you feel the most truly yourself? Talk to a counselor about these questions if you feel confused.
- Consider renaming.
- Consider asking people to call you by other pronouns like she, he/them.
- Confess to people close to you if you feel safe doing so. You can openly express yourself as transgender or tell everyone that you have doubts about your gender.
- Think about what you need to do with your body. Do you want to be more feminine or more masculine? You may cut or grow your hair, use hormones, have surgery on your top or bottom, or you may not make any changes.
Advice
- Take good care of yourself. As a transgender person, it can be stressful, so it’s important to take care of yourself. Do things you love and spend a lot of time relaxing, such as soaking in a bubble bath, getting a massage, going for a hike, or meditating.
- If you’re AFAB – born female – and your hips don’t allow you to wear men’s jeans, try this: Next time, if you can’t pull your waist up to the button, Pull as far as you can, then use a hair band to tie the zipper to the button. You can also use a pin to pierce the hole in the zipper, then attach it to the elastic. As long as your shirt covers it, you’ll be fine!
- If you think you’re transgender, act like it and try to explain. If sometimes you think you’re a girl, and sometimes you think you’re a boy, just act like you feel at that moment.
- Remember to take it easy. Figuring out your true gender is a process that can take a long time, so don’t pressure yourself to quickly clear things up.
- You probably haven’t experienced gender discrimination since your teenage years. This is normal, and you can still be transgender. Many transgender people try to suppress or fail to recognize gender discrimination as children.
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This article was co-written by Inge Hansen, PsyD. Inge Hansen, PhD, is the life director of Stanford University and the Weiland Health Initiative. Dr. Hansen has a deep interest in social justice, gender and sexual diversity. She holds a PhD in psychology from the California School of Psychology with a major in gender and gender identity. She is the co-author of “Keeping Integrity in an Age of Compromise”.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 13,075 times.
Although there may be biological differences in the brains of transgender and heterosexual people, there has not been a simple test that can tell if your innate gender matches your identity. your gender or not. However, with a little self-inquiry and a little help from the experts, you can still find the most suitable identification. If you’ve always wondered about your gender identity, listen to your inner feelings and accept your feelings of uncertainty. Talk to a gender identity counselor to get someone to support you on your journey to finding yourself. Don’t forget that there are many ways to identify, and the most important thing is to find what you want. [1] X Research Source
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