How To Accept An Apology

Thank you to the person who apologized to you. Start by letting the person know that you appreciate their apology and willingness to correct. You can say something as simple as “Thank you for your apology” or “I accept your apology. Thank you.” ^[11]

• Listen sincerely. You have a right to expect a sincere apology, because it is normal and reasonable, but you also have a responsibility to listen to the apology honestly, which means not interrupting, criticizing, and not causing an argument. about the apology or while they are apologizing.
• Don’t dismiss their apology with statements like “It’s okay”, “Nothing”. Your attitude can hurt their feelings because it makes the apology seem worthless, and the problem is still there. It can also leave them feeling that you hate them, and this will build up into a boil that leaves the problem unresolved. If you need more time to cool off, make it clear, such as: “Thank you, I understand your apology, but I’m still very upset right now and need more time to believe it’s going to happen. This won’t happen again.” ^[12]
• Be willing to show appreciation to the person for having the courage to apologize and admit their mistake.

Express how hurt you were/still are. After thanking the person apologizing, you should be clear and specific that you were/still hurt about what the person did to you. This shows that you are honest about your feelings, and shows them that you are not taking the situation lightly or taking the situation as a joke. You can say, “Thank you for apologizing to me. I’m so sad you lied to me” or “I understand that you’re really sorry. Thank you. I was very upset when you yelled at me in front of my parents.” ^[13]

• Be clear and candid about how you feel when the person treats you badly, but don’t use a passive-aggressive tone and don’t be critical. Be as sincere and direct as they apologize to you.

Say “I understand” instead of “It’s okay”. Say that you understand why the person did this, that you accept their apology and let it go. You can say, “I understand why you feel the need to lie. I accept your apology.” ^[14]

• Sayings like “It’s okay” or “Forget it” confuse them as to whether or not you’ll accept the apology. It can also become a joke, belittling, and disrespectful, especially when the person is really serious about apologizing. Remember that it takes a lot of courage for people to admit they’re wrong, and treat their efforts as sincere until proof to the contrary.

Respond to an apology via text in clear, concise language. Text-based apologies aren’t as good as face-to-face apologies, but they’re still better than other ways. When you receive an apology from someone via text message, you can take the usual steps of accepting an apology, but be sure to make it clear so the person knows how you feel. Don’t easily forgive them just because they don’t confront you, and make sure they know how much they’ve hurt you. ^[15]

• For example, you could text back: “Thank you, I need to hear your apology. I was very upset when you ignored me in class the other day, but I understand that you were in a bad mood at the time.”
• You can also offer to talk to the person face-to-face or via video chat instead of texting.

Try to return to normal. You accepted one person’s apology – and now what? Things can be a little awkward at first, and both of you can feel a little uncomfortable. However, if you can get over that and change the subject of the conversation or let go of the past, you can start to welcome the person back to you and get your relationship back on track. . ^[16]

• Things may not return to normal right away, and you still need more time to calm down after the other person has apologized. Understand that there will still be some friction between the two sides after the apology.
• You can even dispel the awkwardness (if any) by saying something like, “Okay, it’s over. Shall we go back to work as usual?” or “Okay, let’s stop being serious now.”

Try to forgive by self-soothing. Even if you’ve accepted someone’s apology, you may still find it harder to get over it than you think. Whenever you think about something bad that happened to you, you may feel all your anxiety, sadness, or stress flooding back, and this is completely normal. If you’re looking for forgiveness, try methods like deep breathing, meditation, or self-care therapies to help you relax. This way, you can heal old wounds and think better of the person you’re trying to forgive. ^[17]

• Forgiveness may not come immediately, it may even never come. Be forgiving, but don’t expect it to happen overnight.

Suggest that you both spend some good time together. Another way to show forgiveness is to “hit the reset button” to show the person that you’re willing to accept the apology. Ask them to spend some good time with you to show that you still enjoy playing with them and that you continue to be friends. If necessary, you can remind the person that you’re still trying to forgive, but while the wound isn’t healing, don’t try to act as if everything is back to normal; anyway now both are looking to the new normal to heal after what happened. ^[18]

• Plan an activity where the two of you must work together, such as playing a sport, going on a picnic, taking a community class, etc. This shows your willingness to rebuild trust and renew friendships.
• Ask them to do things they both loved in the past to show that you’re willing to let go of the negatives and focus on the good times.

Prepare yourself if there is a problem between you and that person again. While you should tell yourself to try to fully trust the person again, especially when they’ve sincerely admitted their mistake and you’ve accepted it, you should also keep an eye out for the warning signs. These could be clues that the person may be repeating old mistakes or reverting to bad habits that could lead to trouble and having to apologize again. Try to help that person avoid making the same mistake or hurting you as before. ^[19]

• For example, if the person starts to be late to dates, talk to them, as they may not even be aware of it. Remind them that you feel hurt when they do. This may encourage them to try harder.

End the relationship if you can’t get over it. Forgiving someone is one thing, but forgetting the hurt they’ve caused is another. Even if you have forgiven someone, you may not be able to forget what they did. If so, you should break up for the good of both of you. A healthy relationship cannot thrive if there is still animosity between the two parties. ^[20]

• You can say, “I accepted your apology that day, but I’m not sure I can ever forget what you did. I’m sorry, but I think we’re going to have to part.”
• Or “I take our friendship very seriously, but what happened last month still haunts me. I don’t think I can get through this, and I need to take time for myself.”

Beware of those who continue to “get used to the old way”. Give someone a second chance. But what about the third time? And a fourth time? There are people who easily say sorry because they know that you will accept it anyway, and they can “pierce” you. If your partner or friend makes mistakes and apologizes time and time again, they probably didn’t mean well by apologizing. In the end, you may end up having to sever the relationship if they don’t correct their bad habits. ^[21]

• The best way to apologize is through actions, not just words. If someone continues to do things that they already know will hurt you, it means they don’t really know the fault.