How to Talk to Your Parents About Your Pregnancy

Talking to your parents about your pregnancy is as scary as being a mother. When you found out about this news, you may feel too embarrassed to tell your parents, but by following the steps below, you should be able to start an open and honest conversation with your parents — and determine what you should do next.

Table of Contents

Prepare for the conversation

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Prepare to see what you will say. Even though your parents will be shocked to hear you’re pregnant, you can defuse the situation by being as clear and mature as possible when you tell them. Here are a few suggestions: ^{[1] X Research Sources}

Start the conversation. Don’t scare your parents by saying “I have very bad news”. Instead, say, “I have a hard time telling your parents.”
Think about how you would explain your pregnancy. Do they know you’ve had sex or even have a boyfriend?
Share your feelings. Even if you feel depressed and have difficulty speaking, try to hold back your tears until the conversation is over, when you will cry. Let your parents know that you’re in shock, and that you’re sorry to let them down, that you’re going through the most difficult time of your life, and that you really need their support.
Ready to answer any questions. Parents will ask a lot of questions, so it’s best to prepare your answers in advance so you won’t be surprised. ^{[2] X Research Source}

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Predict parent’s reaction. Once you’ve determined how to express your feelings and what to say, you need to anticipate how your parents will react. ^{[3] X Source of Research} This will depend on many factors, such as how they have handled bad news in the past, whether your pregnancy has come as a complete shock to them, and What are their values? Consider the following:

Do they know you had sex? If you’ve been in a relationship for months or years, but your parents don’t know, they’ll be more surprised than if they suspect or even know your behavior.
What is their life value? Do they have an open mind about premarital sex, or do they think you absolutely cannot have sex until you’re married or engaged?
How have they reacted to bad news before? Even if you’ve never told your parents such shocking news, think back to how they’ve reacted to other bad situations in the past. How did they react when you reported that you failed your exam or scratched your car?
If your parents have had a violent reaction in the past, you should not report this to them alone. Ask a trusted and open-minded relative to stay by your side when you tell your parents, or even take them to your doctor or teacher to tell them the news.
You can rehearse your conversation with a close friend. Chances are if you’ve told your pregnancy story to your best friend, they not only know how your parents will react, but they can also help you rehearse the conversation. From there, you will better understand how your loved ones will react. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

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Choose the right time to chat. It’s important that you give this news to your parents at the right time, so choose an ideal date and time for them to accept the news. Consider the following suggestions: ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Don’t get too stressed. If you say, “I have something very important to tell my parents. When can we talk?”, then your parents will want to talk to you right away, and you won’t be there yet. preparation. Instead, stay calm and say something like, “I have something to tell you. When will you have time for me?”
Choose a time when your parents are completely focused on you. Choose a time when your parents are home and don’t plan to go out for dinner, don’t have to pick up your brother from soccer practice, or plan to hang out with friends. After talking to you, they really need time to think about the news.
Choose a time when parents are least stressed. If your parents are often stressed or tired when they get home from work, it’s a good idea to wait until after dinner, when they’ve relaxed a bit, to start talking. If your parents seem stressed out during the week, talk to them over the weekend. Saturday will be more suitable than Sunday, because on Sunday night maybe parents have to worry about work next week. ^{[6] X Research Sources}
Choose a time that works for you. While you should choose the most appropriate time with your parents, don’t forget to consider your own feelings. Pick a time when you’re not too tired after a week of studying and when you don’t have to worry about an important test the next day.
If you want someone to be present, you should also choose a time that works for that person. If you want your boyfriend to be present, this is a very risky decision and you need to make sure that it will make the situation better instead of making it worse.
Don’t delay the conversation for too long. Choosing the optimal time will help you have a smooth conversation, but delaying a few weeks because everyone is busy and stressed will only make the situation worse.

Notify your parents

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Notify parents. This is the hardest part of the plan. Even if you’ve prepared what to say and predicted your parents’ reaction, and even if you’ve chosen the best time to talk, this is still one of the most difficult conversations in life. your life.

Relax. You’ve probably thought about this conversation a thousand times. However, you need to realize that what you anticipate is often the worst-case scenario. Usually, you will get 100 times more positive feedback from your parents than you think. Relaxation will make the situation more comfortable. ^{[7] X Research Sources}
Make parents feel comfortable. Even if you don’t normally chat with your parents, you can smile, ask them how they’re doing, and reassure them by patting them on the hand before you tell them the information.
Say something like, “I have something difficult to tell you. I’m pregnant.” You need to speak clearly and firmly. ^{[8] X Research Sources}
Maintain eye contact and open body language. Show friendliness when you tell your parents. ^{[9] X Research Source}
Reveal your feelings. Often parents will be so shocked that they cannot react immediately. Let them know how you feel about the pregnancy. Let them know that this is also very difficult for you.

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Prepare to listen. When you tell your parents, they will have a strong reaction. Whether angry, emotional, confused, hurt, or suspicious, your parents will need time to process the information. Stay calm and listen to their opinions without interrupting.

Reassure parents. Even though you’re an adult, your parents have just heard this important news, so you need to support them. ^{[10] X Research Source}
Answer the question. If you’re prepared, you’ll be able to answer questions honestly and calmly.
Ask your parents how they feel. If they are shocked to the point of silence, give them time to absorb the information, then ask how they are feeling. If your parents don’t share after you’ve confessed your feelings, it won’t be easy to talk further.
Don’t get angry if your parents are angry. Remember they just received this life-changing news. ^{[11] X Research Source}

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Discuss the next step. Once you and your parents have shared each other’s feelings about this news, it’s time to determine what you need to do next. If there is disagreement, this will become more difficult. However, remember that you are now relieved because you have confessed your feelings and can work with your parents to find a solution.

You may not be able to immediately discuss the next steps in the conversation. Your parents will need time to calm down and you also need time to control your emotions.
Remember that even though this crisis is perhaps the hardest thing you’ll ever go through, you and your family will be stronger by working through it together. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Advice

Remember that your parents will always love you no matter what. Even though the conversation will be extremely difficult, it will eventually strengthen the bond between you and your parents.
If you’re adamant about wanting your boyfriend to be present when you talk to your parents, make sure they’ve met him and are aware of his presence. The presence of a stranger but involved in important family matters will only make parents more uncomfortable.
Mentally prepare when your parents get angry. You need to have a plan in case your parents kick you out of the house or ask you to have an abortion or adoption, although this usually won’t happen.

Warning

If your parents have a history of violence, don’t tell them when you’re alone. Take them to your doctor or teacher.
If you’re not sure if you should keep the baby, try to talk as soon as possible to decide what you should do next. If you want an abortion, the longer you delay it, the higher your health risks will be.

Steps

Prepare for the conversation

Notify your parents

Advice

Warning

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