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Any form of rejection, whether in love, career, friends, recommendations for a book or anything else, should not affect your happiness. It’s not fun to be rejected and it can be overwhelming at times, but you shouldn’t allow it to take away the happiness in your life. Rejection is a fact of life – there will be times when your resume, date proposal or change idea will be rejected by someone, somewhere. A healthy attitude is to accept that rejection is a part of life and to acknowledge that it’s important to find a way to rise and try again.
Steps
Dealing with Immediate Consequences
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There is a time of reasonable sadness. You’re about to feel frustrated at being rejected, whether it’s a rejected script, a rejected idea at work, or a rebuffed lover. It’s okay to be upset about it, and in reality, it’s healthy to take a moment to process and be upset.
- Make sure you don’t go overboard and spend the day sitting at home wallowing in unhappiness. This will only make you feel worse in the long run.
Tip: Take some time in your life to process rejection. For example, if you can take the day off work, do it. Or if you’re planning on going out that night, stay home and watch a movie instead. Take a walk after receiving an upsetting rejection letter, or allow yourself to devour a piece of chocolate cake.
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Talk to a trusted friend. This is not to say that you are completely free to “shout out” your pain of rejection from the rooftops. This will show everyone (potential publisher, girl you like, your boss) that you’re lamenting and straining and can’t handle life. So find a trusted friend/family member or two and talk to them thoroughly. [1] X Research Source
- A trusted friend will be someone who wants to talk frankly with you. They can help you with your mistakes (if any); Sometimes you can’t change things and you should just let it be. They can also make sure you’re on track during a sad phase so you don’t start to wallow in it.
- Avoid looking to social media to express your grief. It’s never easy to delete something once posted on the Internet, and when you’re trying to land a great new job, your boss may check the internet and see that you don’t handle rejection well. No matter how frustrated or angry you are, don’t do it.
- Don’t lament too much. Again, you don’t want to wallow in rejection, or you’ll put yourself in a feverish (or depressed) state. Don’t start talking about getting rejected every time you talk to your friends. If you think you’ve gone too far, ask them, “Am I drowning in this rejection too deeply?” If they say “yes”, adjust accordingly.
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Accept rejection early. The sooner you accept rejection and try to move on, the easier it will feel afterwards. It also means that you don’t allow rejection to defeat your future self.
- For example, if you don’t get the job you want, allow a reasonable amount of time to get upset and then let it go. It’s time to look for something else, or consider what you might change in the future. It’s better to keep in mind that when one thing doesn’t work out, something else will often do and in a way you wouldn’t expect.
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Don’t take rejection personally. Remember that rejection says nothing about who you are. Rejection is part of life and it’s not a personal attack. Whatever the reason, your publisher, that girl, or your boss wasn’t interested in a particular thing.
- Rejection is not your fault. The other party (or people) rejects a particular thing that is not possible for “them”. They refused the request, “‘not denying you”.
- Remember, they can’t deny you for who you are because they don’t know you. Even if you’ve gone on a few dates with someone doesn’t mean they know all about you and therefore reject you. They reject a situation that is not possible for themselves. Please respect that.
- For example, you ask the girl you really like to hang out with, and she says “no”. Does this mean you are worthless? Does this mean that no one will ever want to date you again? No, of course not. She simply isn’t interested in the offer (whatever the reason; she could be in a relationship and not interested in dating…).
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Do something else. You need to remove the rejection from your mind after a reasonable amount of grief. Don’t immediately go back to getting you rejected right away, because you’ll still be thinking about the rejection. You need some space and time away from it.
- For example, you submit a manuscript of a novel to a publisher and it is rejected. After grieving for a while, move on with another story, or spend some time trying out a different style of writing (like poetry or short stories).
- Doing something fun can be a great way to clear your mind of rejection and also help you focus. Go out dancing, buy a new book you really like, spend the weekend at the beach with your friends.
- You can’t let rejection stop you in your life, because you will have countless rejections in your life (like everyone). By continuing to live and do other things, you don’t let rejection dictate your life.
Long Term Rejection Handling
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Reinterpret the denial. Remember that rejection is not about you, it’s time to reinterpret rejection in a different way. People who talk about “rejection” tend to view rejection less well than those who reinterpret rejection as focusing on the situation, not themselves. [2] X Research Source
- For example: If you ask someone out on a date and they say no, instead of “they turned me down,” say “They said no.” This way you don’t interpret the rejection as something bad about you (in the end, they don’t turn you down, they say no to your proposal).
- Some more examples of rejection interpretations are “friendship fades away” (instead of thinking a friend turned you down), “I didn’t get that job” (instead of thinking “they turned down the application”). apply for my job”), “we have different priorities” (instead of thinking “they turned me down”).
Tip: One of the best interpretations is “it’s not going anywhere” because it doesn’t blame them or you.
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Know when to give up. When something doesn’t work out, it doesn’t always mean you should give up, but recognizing when to give up and move on is important. Often, not giving up essentially means ignoring that particular case and moving on to something else, but working in a more general way. [3] X Research Sources
- For example, if you ask someone out and they say no, not giving up means not giving up on the idea of finding love. Ignore them (don’t bet they give you a chance), but don’t give up on inviting others out.
- Another example: if your script is rejected by a publisher, it’s fine to stop and think about what made them reject it, but you should continue your efforts with other publishers and agents. .
- Always remember, you are not entitled to a “yes” answer . Since it doesn’t negate your presence, don’t turn around and blame someone.
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Don’t allow denial to control your future. Rejection, as the saying goes, is part of life. Trying to avoid it, or wallowing in it, will make you unhappy. You need to be able to accept that things don’t always work out as expected and that’s okay! Just because something doesn’t work doesn’t mean you’ve failed, or that nothing will succeed.
- Each case is unique. Even if a guy says no to a date, it doesn’t mean all the guys you like will say no. Now, if you start to believe that you will always be rejected, then you will always be rejected. You will set yourself up for failure every time.
- Let’s keep moving forward. Indulging in rejection will keep you bogged down in the past and keep you from enjoying the present. For example, if you keep thinking about the number of job rejections, you will have a hard time submitting your resume and pursuing other avenues.
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Use rejection to progress. Sometimes rejection can be a wake-up call and help you improve your life. The publisher may reject your manuscript because you still need to work on your writing (it may not be published, but that doesn’t mean you will never get published!) . [4] X Research Sources
- If possible, ask the person who rejected you to give some feedback on why they weren’t interested. For example, maybe your resume isn’t up to the mark and instead of walking away saying no one will hire you, ask what potential work you can do to improve. They may not get back to you, but if they do, they can give you a valuable insight into your next attempt.
- For a relationship you can ask why they’re not interested in dating you, but it could be as simple as “I don’t think of you that way.” There’s nothing you can do to change their mind, so the lesson here is how to properly deal with apathy and how to stay optimistic about the potential of the relationship. in your life (not even with that person!).
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Stop indulging in it. It’s time to let go of the rejection. You’ve given yourself time to grieve, you’ve talked it over with trusted friends, you’ve learned from it, and now let’s put it in the past. The more you immerse yourself in it, the more it will grow and the more you will feel like you can’t succeed.
Note: If you find yourself really unable to let go of the rejection, you will need to seek professional assistance. Sometimes thought patterns (“I’m not good enough,”…) are ingrained in your psyche and each rejection deepens them. A good professional can help you through this.
How to Reject an Offer
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Remember that you are allowed to say “no.” This can be difficult for many people, especially women, but you’re not obligated to say “yes” to something you don’t want to do. Of course, caution is also required; When a flight attendant says “sit down,” you should.
- If someone asks you out on a date and you don’t want to go with them, you can tell them straight up that you’re simply not interested.
- If your friends really want to travel and you don’t/can’t, saying no won’t make their world fall apart!
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Be frank. One of the best ways to turn down an offer is to be as direct as possible. Don’t cover up or circle around. Straightforward doesn’t mean mean, although some people see it that way. There’s no other way to turn down someone’s offer (about anything: a date, a script, a job) without causing a bit of pain.
- For example, someone invites you out and you’re not interested. Say “I really appreciate it, but I don’t feel about you that way.” If they don’t get the point, get angrier and say flat out “I’m not and won’t be interested and the fact that you won’t leave me alone makes me even less interested.”
- From the second example above, when a friend suggests an outing, say, “Thanks for thinking of me! I can’t take the day off, not even for the weekend. Maybe next time.” This way you don’t cut off the possibility of having fun in the future, but frankly tell your friends that you don’t want to go without saying “maybe” and such.
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Give specific reasons. While you don’t owe anyone an explanation, articulating why you’re not interested can help the person who made the offer you turned down. If there are points for improvement (especially things like scripts or profiles) you can mention them to put in more effort.
- As for the relationship, simply tell them you’re not interested and don’t feel that way about them. If they ask for more reasons, tell them that attraction and love are not things you can control and they need to accept that you are not interested.
- If you’re refusing to publish someone’s poem in your journal (and you have the time), explain what’s wrong with the poem (poetic structure, cliché formula, etc.). You don’t have to say it sucks, but you can tell there’s some work to be done before it can be published.
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Done quickly. By saying no as quickly as possible you don’t let the emotions build up and get worse. It’s like removing a bandage (visually speaking). Explain to them that the proposal (excursion with friends, date with someone, one person’s script, etc.) is not feasible for you as quickly as possible.
Tip: The faster you do this, the faster they get over it and use this experience to improve.
Advice
- Find a way to relax after being rejected. Some people turn to religion, others to hot baths and meditation. Find ways to clear your mind, get over bad feelings, and restore balance.
- If someone refuses to love you, it doesn’t mean you should feel inferior or feel bad about yourself. It just means they don’t feel the attraction. And you can’t change that.
- Just because someone says no to everything you try to convince them to agree doesn’t mean they don’t see the good in you, so instead of focusing on the answer no, shake it off and focus on the good. own.
- Much of success and acceptance comes from hard work. Sometimes we are not willing to admit to ourselves that we still have as much work to do before we are as complete as we should be. Be enthusiastic about the opportunities but also realistic that there is still more to learn and experience. Jump into the resolution rather than grieve over the rejection.
- Seek professional help if you continue to feel depressed after being rejected. Don’t turn to alcohol or drugs, even if they seem to work in the short term. In the long run, they are potentially destructive.
- Don’t hesitate to say no, there’s nothing worse than someone misleading you and wasting your time and emotions.
- Believe in myself.
Warning
- If you continue to take rejection extremely personally, consider talking to a counselor or therapist. If you are suffering from depression, anxiety or mental health issues, you may not have the resilience needed to cope with the oncoming pressures of life and need extra support. There is no shame or hesitation, everyone needs sympathetic guidance at one time or another in life.
- People won’t always come back to you when you ask for feedback on a disapproval. That’s life, sometimes they’re too busy, other times they don’t know how to explain it to avoid being too critical or personal. And sometimes, they really don’t care. Again, don’t take it personally, see if you can find someone else you trust and have time to look back on what happened to you, to try to find ways to improve in your life. future.
X
This article is co-authored by a team of editors and trained researchers who confirm the accuracy and completeness of the article.
The wikiHow Content Management team carefully monitors the work of editors to ensure that every article is up to a high standard of quality.
This article has been viewed 79,616 times.
Any form of rejection, whether in love, career, friends, recommendations for a book or anything else, should not affect your happiness. It’s not fun to be rejected and it can be overwhelming at times, but you shouldn’t allow it to take away the happiness in your life. Rejection is a fact of life – there will be times when your resume, date proposal or change idea will be rejected by someone, somewhere. A healthy attitude is to accept that rejection is a part of life and to acknowledge that it’s important to find a way to rise and try again.
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