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You think a guy — maybe a friend, lover, or guy you like — doesn’t like you anymore. Maybe he ignores or refuses to go out with you, so what should you do? If you can’t talk face-to-face, try getting his affection back by texting. Read on to learn how to apply effective tactics; However, before you begin, you need to make sure that you really want to mend the relationship.
Steps
Find out the problem
- If the guy changes his behavior around you because he’s no longer interested in being your friend (lover or whoever), you probably can’t change that. In these cases, the problem is with him, not with you.
- If you think maybe he’s angry, find out why. People get angry when you do something that affects them badly. So the first step to reconciliation is to find out what you did to make them angry.
- Remember that sometimes small actions or decisions have a big impact on others, so you’ll need to think about what you’ve been doing recently and determine which actions have the most impact. negatively affect him.
- Once you know what you did to upset him, you can begin to defuse the situation.
- Put yourself in his shoes and visualize whatever you think is causing him to be upset. Be sympathetic to those feelings and approach him with empathy.
- For example, you were late to pick him up because of the traffic jam and you left your phone at home halfway through. This is not a big deal for you. However, he had to wait for you on the sidewalk for 45 minutes when it was dark and cold, he even reminded you of the appointment time 3 times and you promised to be there on time.
- If you’re late to pick him up, besides thinking about the problem from his point of view, you also need to imagine how he was feeling. For example, perhaps he assumed that you didn’t make him a priority, didn’t care about discomfort or if he was busy with something else, and that you broke your promise. Think about how you would feel when faced with these things, and then empathize with him.
Sorry
- Admit that you know you were wrong and that you won’t do it again (no matter what). Don’t do that again.
- Don’t apologize in a heartless way like “I’m sorry to have upset you so much”. Saying that puts the blame on him and it doesn’t sound like you’re sorry for your actions, you just hope he doesn’t get angry.
- If he responds with an angry text message–even if it’s legitimate–apologize again. Continue apologizing if he reacts more angrily. Just text like this, “I’m sorry. You’re wrong”. [2] X Research Source
- If saying sorry isn’t enough, you need to show that you realize the negative consequences of your actions on him and that you truly regret it. [3] X Research Sources[4] X Research Sources
- If he feels that you really understand that your actions are the cause of his anger, he will feel understood and will gradually forgive you.
- Even if you think his feelings or reactions are not justified, you should apologize. If you want to get your feelings back, show that you understand how he’s feeling. [5] X Research Sources
- For example, don’t say anything that suggests he reacted unreasonably or overreacted. This will make him feel like you’re blameless and don’t really get the point–he’ll get angry again. [7] X Research Sources
- Don’t repeat things he’s done in the past that upset you. Tit-for-tat or criticizing each other will not defuse the situation. That will only make matters worse and it will be harder for him to forgive you. [8] X Research Sources
- You can text something like, “I know you’ve been waiting for me for 45 minutes and feel like I don’t respect you. What should I do to atone for this?”
- Try defaming yourself in a humorous way. If humor can calm someone’s anger, gentle self-loathing can be doubly effective. So you can try teasing yourself or admitting one of your cute flaws.
- You can wittily text him something like this, “I’m really sorry I was late to pick you up. You know I’m clumsy, I hit at least five walls to get there.”
- Or, you can text more honestly but still gently chide yourself like this, “Did you know I was racing against time? After all, I’m still late.”
- For example, you could send a sentimental text about something that reminds you of him (even better if it involves a private joke between the two of you), like, “I just saw a Hanoi license plate car, it reminds me of the stories you told about your hometown. Thinking of you makes me happy.”
Realize when to give up or withdraw
- If you keep texting him, you’re worsening the good things you’ve done by making him mad instead of being charming.
- If he needs time to let things go, give him time. You should let him contact you when you’re ready.
- If he’s really angry but can’t or doesn’t want to tell you why, he may need time to process and let the anger pass. Even if you don’t know what you’ve done and it makes you uncomfortable, just let it go. Don’t force him to tell you; give him time. When he’s ready, he’ll speak up, and then you can solve the problem.
- If he’s not really mad, he’s probably just trying to get your attention, then the more you find out what happened, the more he’ll drag the situation on to make you worse. care about. Just say you don’t know what upset him and that you’re sorry if I did. Then, just ignore it, he will contact you when the joke is over to get your attention.
- There’s nothing else you can do or say right now to make him fall in love with you again, so it’s best to just give up.
- After a while, he’ll probably feel less angry and will talk to you when he’s ready. You can’t force him to talk to you when he’s not ready, so it’s best to wait.
- If being with him makes you sadder than happy, it might be time to end the relationship.
- If he abuses you verbally, emotionally, or physically when angry, end the relationship immediately.
- The “healing app” allows you to choose the gender of a person you want to make up and use excuses to mend a relationship with them. [11] X Research Source If all your efforts fail, the app will give no more reason, and when there is no more reason to use it, then obviously you are in real life too. In the worst case, you will be amused by messages that the app sends on your behalf with the information that you have been kidnapped. [12] X Research Source
- Try to think of clever texts even if he doesn’t respond. If he doesn’t text back and you know he’ll probably never text you back, end here. Exaggerate (“I waited so long for you to text back that the feral cat ate my face and arm and now I’m texting you with my dying toe.”) or a combination of a few. Funny meme or animation on signature goodbye. [13] X Research Source
- Accept that he’s angry and maybe the relationship should end. Get on with your own life.
Advice
- If he refuses to chat via text, ask him if he’d like to talk in person. Some people prefer face-to-face interaction.
- Remember to stay calm. You can’t beg someone not to get mad at you. If he’s really angry, give him time to calm down.
- Accept and acknowledge his feelings. Even if you think he’s being unreasonable, acknowledge his feelings. At the very least, you will need to accept this if you want to solve the problem.
- Know when to give up. If he won’t forgive you, don’t force it. The more you try, the worse you will make the situation.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 28 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 36,949 times.
You think a guy — maybe a friend, lover, or guy you like — doesn’t like you anymore. Maybe he ignores or refuses to go out with you, so what should you do? If you can’t talk face-to-face, try getting his affection back by texting. Read on to learn how to apply effective tactics; However, before you begin, you need to make sure that you really want to mend the relationship.
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