How to Date a Man 15 Years Older than You

If you’ve ever been disappointed in dating guys your age, you’re probably attracted to men who are a bit older (or much older) than you are. The idea of starting a relationship with someone 15 years older than you sounds crazy, but there are many advantages to being in a relationship with an age difference! If you have a crush on an older brother, read through the tips below before embarking on this adventure.

Table of Contents

Connected by common interests.

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As in any other relationship, shared interests or interests are probably a factor that brings two people together. When you’re together, you can both do things that you both enjoy. If you don’t have much in common, make an appointment to go out and try something new together! ^{[1] X Research Source}

For example, you could ask him to take a cooking class or explore a new hiking route together.
The two of you can also spend the weekend on a camping trip.

Treat each other equally.

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An age gap doesn’t mean your boyfriend is in charge. Even though he’s older than you, the respect between the two of you should always be the same as in any other relationship. You’re both adults, and you both have to treat each other like equals. ^{[2] X Research Source}

For example, when it comes to a serious relationship, both are entitled to have a say in where they live or which part of the city they will move to.
When you’re out on a date, you should try to pay half of the bill or occasionally win it all.
Because he has more life experience than you, he can give you helpful advice when you need it (but the final decision is still yours).

Express your feelings honestly.

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In general, older guys don’t like arrogant people. If you like him, just show it, and don’t go around the three kingdoms! If you push him away, there’s a good chance he’ll find someone else instead of chasing you. The more honest you are, the better! ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If you’ve dated guys your age before, this is probably a new change for you. Instead of playing cat and mouse, you can simply express how you really feel to him and get the same from him.

Keep relationships with friends and maintain your hobbies.

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Your man probably has a life of his own, and so should you. Since you’re not the same age, maybe you’d rather hang out with friends, and he might prefer to stay at home. You should go out and have fun, do what you like, and don’t put yourself down just for him. If he is a good boyfriend, he will understand and will enjoy his own time until you come back. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

In a relationship with an age difference, this can sometimes be a bit difficult. Younger people often find it difficult to convince the other person to go out “for fun,” especially to a nightclub or to a bar to drink. Be prepared that he will refuse your invitation, and don’t let his stomach hold grudges.

Talk to your parents before introducing your boyfriend.

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The age gap between him and your parents may be even closer than between you and him. This may come as a shock to your parents. Find a good time to tell your parents about all the great things about your boyfriend and explain why you love him so much. Then tell your parents that he’s a little older than they thought, but they should give him a chance. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

You can say something like, “I’ve known Quang for a while, and I really want you to meet him. He’s very nice and we get along very well, but I just wanted to let you know that he’s a little bit older.”
Sometimes age is to a man’s advantage: maybe he has more in common with your parents than you think.

Side by side in the face of disagreements.

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Friends and family may have negative views about your relationship. Tell yourself that your happiness comes first – if you know he’s the one for you then that’s the most important thing. Tell your parents if you have to suffer gossip, and stay by his side if friends and family have doubts or concerns about you. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Usually people worry about you because they love you, but it’s still sad to hear people doubt your love life. Maybe it helps if you introduce your boyfriend to friends and family so they can see that he’s also a normal (even older) man.
Strangers may also gossip and look at your relationship with disapproval. Tell each other that other people’s opinions don’t matter, especially if they’re just trying to be negative.

Talk about your desires in a relationship between the two of you.

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Do you want to get married soon or do you want the relationship to develop slowly? Older men usually know where they are and what they want, so it’s best to make it clear to each other from the start. If he wants to settle down but you don’t, it’s probably better for the two of you to separate and go your separate ways. If he just wants to have fun and you’re looking for a serious relationship, you two can’t be a happy couple. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Create relationships with his children.

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This is important if your boyfriend has children. Maybe he doesn’t want you to see the kids right away, and that’s normal – but when you do, try to get along with his kids. You don’t have to be the mother of the kids (especially if you’re not married), just being friendly and cheerful is enough. If there’s something awkward, ask him for help! ^{[8] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

His kids might not like you right away, but that’s okay. In general, young children are easier to please than older children. Most importantly, you keep trying!

Be civil to his ex, if any.

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Older men are more likely to stay in touch with their ex than younger men. For example, if he and his ex-wife have kids, they’ll probably still see each other quite often, even if it’s just to pick up and drop off the kids. While you don’t have to be friends with his ex, you should be friendly and civilized, if she treats you the same way. ^{[9] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

Maybe after dating for a while you just met his ex. No problem. If you feel nervous or nervous, talk to him first to get his advice and feel more comfortable.

Talk to him about future goals.

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How do you envision yourself 10 years from now? What about 20 years from now? If your goals generally go hand in hand with his, then you’ve probably chosen the right path. Since he’s older than you, he may have other wishes about life ahead, so you should definitely talk to him about this as soon as possible. ^{[10] X Research Source}

For example, do you want to have children? If your boyfriend already has children, does he want to have more children?
Does he want to get married (maybe a second time), or is he content with a long-term relationship? How about you?

Learn more about him.

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When the two sides get closer to each other, the relationship between the two will also be closer. The best relationships have a healthy foundation built on trust and mutual respect. When you’re serious about the man you’re dating, open up to him and ask about himself. Experts say that when the two sides become closer, age is just a number, and the distance between the two of you no longer matters. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Ask your boyfriend about his childhood, family, and past.
Pay attention to his feelings and make sure he feels secure enough to open up to you.

Talk to your boyfriend about any problems that come up.

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Age difference relationships can be difficult, and this is normal. If you run into any problems in your relationship, ask your boyfriend to sit down and talk. Just like in relationships where both parties are the same age, you need to maintain communication to foster a loving and healthy relationship. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Steps