What to do when your girlfriend is angry?

It’s not fun when the person you care about the most is mad at you, but rest assured you’ll get through it. Occasional conflicts and disagreements between two people in love are perfectly normal – even if they have a healthy relationship! If you’re looking to make up with your girlfriend, we’re here to help. From small gestures to amazing declarations of love, this article will tell you how to get things back to normal soon.

Table of Contents

Give your girlfriend some space if she asks.

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If she tells you to be quiet, respect her wishes. Your girlfriend is still angry right now, but it will probably calm down in a few hours or days. If she is angry, your first reaction is probably to put out the fire as soon as possible by addressing the issue immediately. However, your girlfriend may not be ready yet, so if she needs some breathing space, it’s best to listen to her. ^{[1] X Trusted Source New York State Government Go to Source}

This is good for you, too, even if you don’t feel it right now. That way, you’ll have time to think and know how to talk to her.
It’s normal to feel upset, even if you know you screwed up. Don’t be so hard on yourself – who doesn’t make mistakes from time to time!
On the other hand, if you need some space that she wants to deal with right now, you can absolutely say, “I’m sorry for making you angry. He also wanted to fix this, but he needed to think about it first. I think that’s reasonable, I didn’t intentionally avoid you or mean anything else.”

See things from the other side’s point of view.

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Put your pride aside and take a step back. Yes, it’s easy to get defensive, resentful or careless if the other person gets angry and you think it’s not worth it. However, people rarely get angry for no reason, and it won’t help if you “retort” right now. Try to see things from her point of view and be honest with yourself about your behavior. This will be much easier if you admit (to yourself and to her) your mistake. ^{[2] X Research Source}

If you really think you’re not at fault, you have two options. You can try sitting down and explaining why you think you’re right, or just let it go and apologize as if you were at fault, even if you think you’re not.
If you’ve tried but still don’t know why she’s angry, go out for a walk and let your mind relax. It is often difficult for people to be aware of their actions when they are still angry, so take a break to clear your mind.

Apologize sincerely.

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Don’t just apologise – you need to make it clear that you’re sorry. Look her in the eye and admit that you know you did the wrong thing, and don’t try to blame your girlfriend. If you want to explain why you did it, just say it, but don’t try to downplay your mistake. If she has any questions, answer them. If she’s still angry, ask what you can do to atone. ^{[3] X Harvard Medical Schop Trusted Source Go to Source}

If there’s been some time between the two of you starting to get mad at each other and talking again, you can write down an apology.
Even if you think she’s partly to blame, now isn’t the time to argue. Solve the problem first and analyze it later, when both of you are calmer.

Let her vent her anger a bit.

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Try to listen quietly if she needs to release her emotions, even though it won’t be comfortable. You don’t have to endure abuse or anything like that, but if your girlfriend feels the need to whine, cry, or scream a little, let her vent. While this is not the healthiest way to deal with negative emotions, she needs to let her anger out. Try not to mind. ^{[4] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

Whatever you do, remember not to yell at your girlfriend because she yells at you. This act is the beginning of quarrels and conflicts. If your goal is to make up with your girlfriend, you may need to let her vent.
If she yells at you but sees you sitting there nodding and saying “I understand,” she’ll most likely realize she’s gone too far and stop.

Make up for her.

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You can solve the original problem or do something else for your girlfriend. If she gets mad because you always forget to do the dishes, then go wash the dishes, but if she’s angry about something you can’t “fix” (for example, you accidentally spoke harshly to her, cannot be retracted), do something to show her you’re wrong. If you’re not sure what to do, just ask! ^{[5] X Research Sources}

You might say, “Now what do I have to do to make up for it? I feel so guilty and want you to know that you are important to me, so what should I do?”
If you forget a date night or something like that, try saying, “Honey, I screwed up. Can you take me out next week? I have a great plan for you to change the atmosphere. Please pay me back.”

Show that you have changed.

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Show that you both agree by not repeating your mistakes. She’ll only get mad if you don’t show you’ve learned from this conflict. If she’s angry because you haven’t called for two days in a row, now try to call her every night when you’re not together. If she’s angry that you don’t help around the house, you can set a reminder on your phone to remember to wash the dishes, take out the trash, or clean up. You said sorry to your girlfriend, then show her you’re sincere! ^{[6] X Research Sources}

It may take some time for you to do this. Your one gesture may not convince her right away, but if you’re persistent and reasonable, she’ll forgive you.

Make your girlfriend happy.

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Besides the serious conversation, do something to make her smile or blush. You’re the one who knows her best, so if she likes sweet flirtations, tell her something sweet that comes to mind. If she likes honest comments, cut the sensitivity in half. Do whatever you can to make her smile to remind her that you two are having a good time. ^{[7] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

If you have some gesture to make her smile but she turns away or doesn’t seem to like it, let it go, don’t try.

Give her a tight hug.

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Physical contact is an effective way of making peace. When she seems to have calmed down, you can just give her a hug or ask her, “Can I hug you?” Wrap your arms around her and hug her. You can lift her up a bit if she likes. Hugs are scientifically proven to help people overcome conflict, and the feeling of your arm around her will make her much more comfortable. ^{[8] X Trusted Source PLOS ONE Go to Source}

This time too, if you ask for a hug but she doesn’t like it, let it go. Forcing someone to do something they don’t want won’t help.

Try joking if the two of you are just arguing over silly things.

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Once the conflict has been resolved, joking around can make it easier to make up. This is only a good idea if the argument doesn’t revolve around an important issue. If you are just starting to touch on a sensitive issue that makes her angry, a joke can help defuse the situation. But if you’ve already done it, it can be even more stressful. ^{[9] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source}

For example, if she’s angry that you didn’t post a picture of the two of you together on Facebook, after you’ve fixed it, you could say, “You’ll have to remember to tell your Facebook friends about this photo.”
If your girlfriend is angry because you didn’t notice her new hairstyle, you can smile and say, “Did you just fix your eyebrows?”
Remember to consider how she feels when joking. This is a bit risky if your girlfriend is a bit sensitive or doesn’t understand your sense of humour.

Talk to each other about the recent conflict.

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It’s not uncommon for couples to bicker from time to time, but if there’s a lesson to be learned, it’s time for the two of you to review it together. It’s helpful to revisit the incident after a few days or weeks if you’re not getting along at the time, but there are lessons to be learned to help you understand each other better. Once you both have calmed down, ask her if she wants to review what happened. The two of you will likely have a productive conversation. ^{[10] X Research Source}

You might ask, “Hey, are you afraid to talk about our fight just now?” or “Can we talk about how to argue more effectively when we’re angry?”

Rebuild trust if things don’t go as planned.

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If you’ve made a big mistake, it will probably take a while for things to return to normal. You can’t control her feelings, but you can let her know that you really want to change. Try not to get discouraged when your lover is angry, and continue to prove that you are worthy of her trust by being the best boyfriend you can be. If the argument happens again, keep apologizing and let her vent. ^{[11] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

If the two of you are arguing about another girl or something serious, it can take a long time for your girlfriend to get over it (and that’s understandable). Don’t object if she asks to see your social media accounts or asks who you spend your free time with.
Obviously, you need to actively avoid things that make your girlfriend angry in the first place. If she gets angry when she learns that you used a large amount of money in your joint account to buy a new car, from now on, don’t buy expensive things without consulting your girlfriend first.

Steps