How to Forget First Love

How many people in this world can easily forget their first love? First love teaches you what it’s like to feel romantic at first. Any first experience will set the tone for future similar experiences. If you’re struggling to get over your first love, that’s completely normal. It’s something that many people experience, but there are some things you can do to get over it and move on. The first thing is to limit thinking about the ex. Try to focus on the present and don’t dwell on the past. Try to adopt a healthier alternative to your ex. The love affair is over, but thanks to that you have learned a lot about yourself. After a period of grief, try to move on. Focus on what lies ahead instead of forever regretting a lost love.

Table of Contents

Mental control

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Limit the time you spend thinking about your ex. You may think that you should completely remove the silhouette of the old man from your mind. However, this tactic is very counterproductive. If you force yourself not to think about something, you will only think about it more. Instead of trying absolutely not to think about your ex, limit the time you spend thinking about them. This way will be more effective. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Choose a time of day to think about your ex, like half an hour every morning. If you find it difficult to recall old memories, you can try listening to a song or thinking about a movie you both love.
Then you should try to avoid thinking about your ex for the rest of the day. If you notice that person’s image creeping into your mind, say something like, “I’ve been thinking about this today. You’ll think about it tomorrow.”

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Recognize unrealistic thought patterns. If your mind is reeling from the loss of your first love, it’s easy to fall into tragic thoughts like, “I’ll never love anyone again” or “I’ll never be happy again.” When you catch yourself having such thoughts, stop and fight back. ^{[2] X Research Source}

There is no love like any other. You are right in thinking that you will never feel the same way again. However, this does not mean that you will never be able to love again or be happy again.
Be realistic. Don’t most first loves fail? Think of your parents, friends, or other family members. Maybe everyone has experienced the feeling of losing their first love but finally found their other half.
Remind yourself that things are hard right now, but you will love and be happy again even if it takes a long time.

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Focus on the present. Remind yourself of what you are. Think about your friends, your job, your hobbies, and your passions. Even though you are no longer in a romantic relationship, you still have a lot to take care of. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Engage in activities that help you live in the moment. Find a new hobby. Join a club. Do volunteer work somewhere. Go to the gym. Any activity that can help you live in the present helps.
New memories will help you get over the past. Steady steps toward new things and better memories can help you get over your ex.

Develop a vision of the past

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Consider any negative thinking patterns. You can learn a lot from any relationship. It’s the process of growing and changing to help you find a happier and healthier love in the long run. While you’re trying to get over your first love, look for negative thinking patterns that you need to improve in your next love. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Think about why your first love broke up. Is there anything you could have behaved differently? Is there any reason why the two are not compatible? Why was your ex attracted to you back then? Is it for the wrong cause?
In most cases, a romantic relationship doesn’t work out just because two people don’t get along. You can take this opportunity to consider how to choose a more appropriate lover in the future.

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Allow yourself to enjoy the old memories. You don’t have to reject every thought of your ex. Time passes, and you can smile as you recall what happened. Love can evoke happy, magical emotions, and first love is always special. If it’s fun to remember a certain memory, allow yourself to enjoy it instead of throwing it all away. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

You can find strength in old memories. Use those memories as a way to remember yourself as someone in love. It’s always good to remind yourself that you have a loving soul.
Old memories can also help you feel better on unlucky days. You may suddenly recall the words of encouragement from your ex when you feel that you are not good. Hold on to old memories, as long as you understand that the relationship is over.

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Understand that first love is nothing special. That love affair can be a wonderful experience; You learn a lot about yourself and experience love for the first time in your life. However, it is common to romanticize the first experience. First love is nothing special, except it was the first time. Remember, humans instinctively overvalue their first experience. Don’t let this stop you from enjoying your present life. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Maybe you remember your first relationship experiences through a magnifying lens. This can lead to a tendency to compare your current feelings with past feelings when you were in a new relationship. However, think about any of your first experiences. Are you exaggerating like that? Perhaps you were very excited on the first day of your new job, but chances are that the day was no different than any other.
Instead of seeing your first love as a perfect lover, you should see it as an experience. You have learned to love and have a romantic relationship. However, the person who was once with you may not be the only one for you. You tend to romanticize memories just because that’s when you first fell in love.

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See your ex as a way to get to know yourself. Reflect on the things you’ve learned during your time together. Think about what you love about yourself in that relationship. Have you learned to be more altruistic? Or have you learned how to take care of others? Even if the relationship is over, don’t consider it a failure. Almost every love affair in your life is, in some way, a practice. Appreciate what you learn about yourself and your ability to love instead of trying to completely forget about your ex. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Step forward

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Find bigger goals. In the face of loss, you often forget your larger goals in life. You may think that losing your first love means that you have failed in your goal of finding a loving relationship in your life. However, look at the bigger goals in your relationship. A broken relationship doesn’t mean you can’t achieve your goals. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Review what you want in life. In addition to finding your other half, think of other goals. For example, what profession or major do you like?
Loss does not mean failure. The reality is that most of us have faced many losses or rejections on our way to bigger goals. You don’t have to rely on someone to achieve your goals.

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Give yourself time before dating someone new. Many people believe that romantic relationships with other people will help them forget their old love. While a new relationship can take your mind off your old self, you probably won’t be able to succeed this way. Instead of jumping right into a new relationship, take time to reflect. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Reflect on what you want in love. Think about how your needs are met and unmet. This will help you find a more suitable life partner in the future.
Many people keep pursuing one love after another, hoping to find the right person. However, if you yourself have something wrong, you will not be able to find a love like that. You need to grieve for your first love and figure out what you want in the future.

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Learn from the behavior of others. Find a friend, relative, or coworker who has also been through grief and has overcome it. Trying to follow someone who doesn’t have to rely on a relationship to feel fulfilled and happy. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Find someone who is okay with being alone. You need to follow the example of someone who doesn’t need a relationship to be happy.
Once you find someone like that, think about how they deal with grief. See how they remain independent and strong after a breakup.

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Accept that you will be sad for a while. You may want to move on, but it’s also important to acknowledge your feelings. Take steps to help you feel lighter, but accepting your sadness is a natural part of the process. Letting go of your first love is hard, and even if you do everything right, you won’t be able to forget it right away. Don’t beat yourself up for having bad days. This is normal and you need time to get over it. ^{[12] X Research Source}

Don’t panic if pictures of your ex leave you sad. If you try too hard to avoid feeling depressed, you could make the situation worse.
Instead, accept that you will feel a little sad. Cry if you feel the need. Let go of the feeling of sadness so that you can move on.
To help you see things differently, think about times when you were sad in the past, and remember that you finally felt better. The sadness will fade and over time you will have good days again.

Maria Avgitidis

Matchmakers and dating consultants

Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service company based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with today’s youth dating psychology and search techniques to ensure her clients find her. the other half. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in magazines and television channels such as The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice and Thrillist.

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmakers and dating consultants

Experts say: You need time to let go of any love, but there are ways to reduce sadness. To make a difficult time go more smoothly, you should meet a lot of people, take up new hobbies, or focus on doing things you enjoy.

Advice

Try writing down your feelings. When bad thoughts and feelings replay in your head, writing them down can help.
Stay busy. Do not allow yourself to be idle, because that is the door that opens to your thoughts about that person. Exercise, clean the house, or pursue a hobby.
Accept the fact and understand that if your ex really wants to stay friends, they’ll have to play a part, and you’re not alone in making an effort to be around them as friends. You deserve better than that.
Get rid of your ex’s items that you may still have. Clothes that still have the scent of your ex can remind you of that person more than anything else. The notes they wrote and their drawings should also be discarded. When you see things that used to make you happy, you will only get sadder.
Talk to new people. Meeting new people will help you forget about your ex and force you to focus on a new group of friends. Join a club, volunteer, go to social events alone or with others.

Warning

Even if you hate your ex, don’t scold them. That only makes you feel more uncomfortable.
Checking your ex’s Facebook is a bad idea. It will only make you frustrated to see the pictures and read the text posted by other people.
Do not use addictive substances to escape. They can’t help you in the long run, on the contrary, can lead to a worse outcome. Avoid alcohol or other stimulants during the healing period after a breakup.

Steps

Mental control

Develop a vision of the past

Step forward

Advice

Warning

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