How to Forget Someone

X

This article was co-written by Maggie Mitchell. Maggie Mitchell is a life coach and owner of InnerCoastal Coaching in Raleigh, North Carpina. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in assisting individual clients with communication, anxiety, stress, problem solving, decision making, meditation and healthy limits. Maggie holds a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from Gannon University and an Advanced Coaching Community International (ICC) certification.

This entry has been viewed 274,081 times.

When a relationship ends, life can’t seem to go on. You always have the feeling that the person is everywhere and you can’t move on right now. However, things don’t have to be like that. By adjusting to your environment, capturing your thoughts, and keeping yourself busy, things can easily go back in time. Follow the steps below to let go of that person and move on to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled new person.

Table of Contents

Get rid of Negative Reminders

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/3d/Forget-a-Person-Step-1-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-1-Version-3.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/3/3d/Forget-a-Person-Step-1-Version-3.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-1-Version-3.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Stop meeting. You won’t be able to forget someone if you still see them all day long or constantly hear stories about their activities. Implement the following tactics:

Make sure you don’t run into this person by chance during your daily activities. If you have to go shopping at the same time or take the same way home with that person, change your schedule slightly so that there are less opportunities to see each other.
At this point, avoid social gatherings where you know the person will be present. Politely explain to the organizer that you hope the event will go well, and that you are absent simply to avoid an unwanted encounter.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/7/7e/Forget-a-Person-Step-2-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-2-Version-3.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/7/7e/Forget-a-Person-Step-2-Version-3.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-2-Version-3.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Remove that person from your online life. In this day and age, we often communicate with people through screens. Even if you don’t meet the person, it’s easy to see their activities. As cruel as it may seem, remove the person from all forms of social media you use.

Remove the person’s contact information from your phone and email account.
Block all Facebook, Twitter, Instagram… pages of that person.
Take all other measures to prevent unwanted encounters. If necessary, you should even change your email address

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/ad/Forget-a-Person-Step-3-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-3-Version-3.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/ad/Forget-a-Person-Step-3-Version-3.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-3-Version-3.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Ask your mutual friend to stop updating them on his or her situation. Something extremely interesting may have happened to that person but you don’t have to know. If this friend forgets and accidentally mentions him or her in front of you, gently remind the friend of your request and say, “Jane, I’m sorry, but I feel sad thinking about Bill. Maybe we should talk about something else.”

However, you can add an “addendum” to this policy: sometimes knowing a little more about the right things will help you end up better. Perhaps the person has started smoking, moved to another town, or lost his job. Let your friends know that if they think they know something that could help you stop, they should speak up.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/9/91/Forget-a-Person-Step-4-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-4-Version-3.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/9/91/Forget-a-Person-Step-4-Version-3.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-4-Version-3.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Remove anything that reminds you of that person. Erase everything that brings up painful memories of this person from your life. Simply by not having to look at these things every day, it will be easier for you to move on.

If you can’t stand throwing away certain items, pack them up and have a family member or close friend keep them in their home and out of your sight. Ask them to keep these items out of your reach for at least 6 months.
Check your music player and delete all songs that remind you of that person. Replace them with upbeat songs that encourage you to be confident and move on.
If you have a child or a pet with that person, you obviously can’t get rid of them. Instead, focus on nurturing them and giving them a good life.

Change Your Perspective

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/9/95/Forget-a-Person-Step-5-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-5-Version-3.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/9/95/Forget-a-Person-Step-5-Version-3.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-5-Version-3.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Don’t let the desire for revenge overwhelm you. Understand that wanting to get revenge on someone (by making them jealous, upset, or regretful) still means you’re thinking about that person. You can’t forget and move on if you’re obsessed with revenge, so learn to let go of that mindset.

If you believe in a supreme force such as retribution or a kind of “you reap what you sow” creation, think that the person will eventually pay the right price.
If you don’t believe that someone will take revenge on your behalf, get used to the fact that life isn’t fair. It’s not fair for this person to hurt you, but that doesn’t mean you have the right to retaliate.
Remember the old saying of George Herbert: “A good life is the best revenge”. When you move on with your life and don’t accept to lower yourself to that person’s level, they will understand that you are not affected by what happened and that you consider it unimportant.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/4/42/Forget-a-Person-Step-6-Version-3.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-6-Version-3.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/4/42/Forget-a-Person-Step-6-Version-3.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-6-Version-3.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Take time to let your emotions out. If you’ve tried everything but still can’t stop thinking about the person, try another method. Set aside a certain amount of time (about 1-2 hours) to sit down and write down all of your feelings about what happened. When the time is up or you’ve run out of things to say (whatever happens first) close the document and put it away somewhere. Later, if you want to think about that person again, tell yourself, “No, I’ve already expressed my feelings about it. I’m not going to waste any more time on this. ”

You can allow yourself 10-15 minutes a day to be emotional if you really need to. When the time is up, tell yourself to think about it again tomorrow. With each passing day, you will need less of these moments. Even realizing that you need less of these moments will help you feel better.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/f/fc/Forget-a-Person-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-7-Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/f/fc/Forget-a-Person-Step-7-Version-2.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-7-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Let your mind be distracted. Fortunately, only you are in control of your thoughts. You don’t have to think about something if you don’t want to. Keep yourself busy with school, work or a project to keep your mind focused. When there are other things to think about, the thoughts about that person will also decrease.

If you find yourself thinking about that person, shift your focus away. We all daydream in the middle of the day and then find ourselves thinking about things we didn’t expect. So as soon as those thoughts pop into your head, tell yourself that you won’t think about it anymore or will think about it later (hint: you won’t need to think about it later). Find someone to talk to, a game or anything that might grab your attention, even for a few minutes &ndash, that’s enough.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/b/b8/Forget-a-Person-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-8-Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/b/b8/Forget-a-Person-Step-8-Version-2.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-8-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Don’t listen to emotional songs or watch emotional movies. Trying to forget someone is the source of one’s mood swings and depression. Right now, you may feel like you’re in a very vulnerable state. You don’t need outside influences to dig into your bad feelings right now, so listen to upbeat music and watch only movies or TV shows that put you in a good mood.

You also need to remind your friends to remember this. They can keep things light to help you avoid thinking too much. When you need a boost, give them a call – they’ll know what to do to help you feel better.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/5/5f/Forget-a-Person-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-9-Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/5/5f/Forget-a-Person-Step-9-Version-2.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-9-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Respect yourself. It is likely that the person you are trying to forget has done something wrong. After all, they don’t appreciate you as much as they would like. This is the kind of person that shouldn’t be in your life. When you learn to appreciate yourself, you will realize it more easily. They don’t treat you well and that’s it. Give your time to those who appreciate it.

Remember that having confidence in yourself will make it easier for you to move on. Remember: you are amazing! The world is waiting for you ahead with many opportunities. What will you do next?

Bring Happiness Back

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/a9/Forget-a-Person-Step-10-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-10-Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/a9/Forget-a-Person-Step-10-Version-2.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-10-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Pursue your passions. Stay on track by replacing the time you’ll be spending with the person (or thinking about that person) with another new activity. Start a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, join an intramural sports league or start a new exercise routine. Whatever the activity is, it needs to be fun and grab your attention so you can’t think of anything else while participating.

Mastering a new skill and improving yourself will make you feel better. You may also feel like a new, more complete person and too good for the person you’re trying to forget, and this will give your self-esteem a boost. Self-improvement is the best measure in this case for you, for self-confidence and for inner peace.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/25/Forget-a-Person-Step-11-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-11-Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/25/Forget-a-Person-Step-11-Version-2.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-11-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Eat well and exercise. Have you ever gone through a time when you gobbled up fast food and just wanted to sit on the couch watching bad reality TV shows? And surprisingly, this period is not fun at all – when you are lazy and unhealthy, you will feel very bad. Simply “a positive mindset cannot exist in a sick body!”. Eating well and exercising will make it easier to feel energized and have a positive attitude about your current situation and yourself.

Arrange a diet based on fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats. You need a balance of fiber, protein, complex carbohydrates, and healthy fats (like those found in fish, nuts, or olive oil). Stay away from processed fast foods, they can make you feel good at first but will only slow you down in the end.
Aim to exercise for about 30 minutes a day in the form of walking, swimming, running or even jumping or cleaning the house. Split your workout time up if your schedule doesn’t allow for long periods of time. Even small efforts like parking far from the entrance to walk will count towards practice time.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/12/Forget-a-Person-Step-12-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-12-Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/12/Forget-a-Person-Step-12-Version-2.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-12-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Be with friends and family. The best way to keep your mind and schedule busy and help you stay positive is to be around amazing people who truly care about you. It could be your mom, sister, best friend, theater group or basketball team, and spend time with them. They will make you smile and help you see that you still have tons of interesting things waiting for you.

When you feel like hiding behind blankets, allow yourself to sit at home for about an hour and then stop by accepting invitations to hang out and participate in social activities. You may not realize it at first, but by the end of the day you’ll be glad you were out.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/06/Forget-a-Person-Step-13-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-13-Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/06/Forget-a-Person-Step-13-Version-2.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-13-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Give yourself time. The human mind has an amazing ability to heal itself. The old adage “time heals all wounds” holds true for all time. The brain’s natural instinct is to start focusing on the present, forget about the past, and often change the past to make sense. So relax if it’s been a few weeks and you still haven’t forgotten. These things take time. Your brain will help you to forget if you are patient enough.

Stages of regret are normal and necessary in most cases. There are 5 stages, and it will probably take you a long time to perfect. Be patient with yourself – you’ll get better as time goes on.

{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/89/Forget-a-Person-Step-14-Version-2.jpg/v4-460px-Forget-a-Person- Step-14-Version-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/89/Forget-a-Person-Step-14-Version-2.jpg/ v4-728px-Forget-a-Person-Step-14-Version-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}

Forgive and forget. After all, you won’t be able to forget if you can’t forgive that person. If you’ve followed the steps above and still can’t get over it, focus on forgiving. No one is perfect, they are just normal people and things like that happen. Life still goes on.

Don’t forget to forgive yourself. It is easier for most of us to hold a grudge against ourselves than it is with others. Remember that at that point, you did what you thought was right, and so did the other person. No one is at fault. Everything is in the past and will stay in the past forever. It’s also the best way – this way, you can move forward comfortably.

Advice

Letting go of someone can help you move on, but try not to forget what you learned from this relationship. That time won’t be wasted if you get something for yourself.
Never try to reach them. They may try to contact you but stick with your decision and don’t let them back into your life. Remember why you left them.
Long-term relationships will always be unforgettable, but you need to understand that you deserve better and that no one is perfect. Understand that no matter what happens, life goes on and people always move forward. Don’t waste your time!
Don’t obsess over termination. Stop communicating now and stop the urge to come up with fancy solutions (like sending out a lengthy goodbye email). Simply stop.
Do things that are different from what you used to do with the person. Let’s start looking for something new.
Don’t try to get your stuff back. Unless it’s a diamond ring or something special, it’s best not to contact the person to get it back. Your special DVDs, clothes, brushes…, simply throw it all away. They are just furniture. Is a pair of panties worth the pain of touching that person? Don’t trade your dignity with such petty things.
Don’t rush into a new relationship to forget the past one because this will always fail.
Never try to hate the person because when you hate, you will become obsessive and thoughts about that person will invade your mind, making you think about that person all the time. As a result, you won’t be able to forget the person, but you will also feel uncomfortable.
Remember that sometimes someone will still (or forever) hold a place in your heart, no matter how small.
Don’t check your friend’s Instagram, Facebook or any other social accounts. They can post happy pictures with that person and you will feel very sad.

Warning

Never resort to violence.
If several months have passed and you still can’t stop thinking about that person, see a psychologist.

Steps

Get rid of Negative Reminders

Change Your Perspective

Bring Happiness Back

Advice

Warning

Related Posts